


The Perfect Mess

by albalonga99



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, I changed the date of Jensen s birthday for story purposes, Jensen has three personalities, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Mpreg, but it is not a medical condition, one moment of slight dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:45:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 50,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7041310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albalonga99/pseuds/albalonga99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen has three personalities to hide behind and find courage in. Jared’s trying to return to the movie business and social scene after a near-death experience. Jensen is absolutely sure he is never predictable, somebody no one expects him to be. As it turns out neither is Jared. They make a bet. How will this game end? The game where one is the seducer and the other is trying not to give in? Can they both come out of it as winners?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my SPN Big Bang 2011 fic. Originally posted to my LJ. Reposting it here for easier access.

Bare feet in the grass, sun shining overhead, so warm and cozy.  
Sophia`s head is on Jensen`s belly. They’re lying on their backs and looking up at the sky. It’s a sunny summer day in California.  
“So, really that good?” Sophia can’t help it. If her own sex life is dry, at least she wants to hear about the active sex life of her best friend and personal assistant Jensen.  
“The first time it was perfect - hard and fast. He tore apart my shirt, he just couldn’t wait. He told me I drove him crazy. We did it in the elevator.”  
“Elevator?” Sophia can’t believe it. “But somebody could have walked in on you and… Jesus, it’s too embarrassing to even imagine…”  
“Oh, come on, Soph. Don’t be such a moralist. We just couldn’t wait to get to his room. And besides – the possibility of being caught made it even hotter.”

There’s a mysterious smile on Jensen`s lips.  
Sophia laughs a little.  
“But of course.” She smiles. “You were in your “I’m a bitch, so sue me” character yesterday. I’m sure you were like a prostitute from his favorite sexual fantasy. All men have a fantasy at least once about fucking a hooker.”  
Jensen laughs.  
“And you know that how exactly, Soph?  
“Me?” Sophia blushes a bit. “Well, I`m a musician. I travel a lot, meet a lot of people and I`m perceptive enough to notice that…”  
“Oh, Soph, come on - just admit - in your fantasies you like being a big fat dirty slut!”  
Sophia turns her head and looks at Jensen. Jensen is still looking at the sky but now there is that famous evil grin on his lips.  
Sophia sighs deeply and turns her gaze back to the sky.  
“I won`t admit a thing and I`m anything but fat, mister.” She finally says and waits till Jensen turns to look at her. Then they both start laughing uncontrollably. After good five minutes of laughing, Sophia asks.  
“So, there was a quickie in the elevator. What happened next?”  
“Ah, well, nothing interesting. He got all soft and tender. He started kissing me and it was all sloppy and wet and… boring. The spark was gone. He just wasn’t that brutal, tough man from the elevator anymore. I suggested couch but he preferred bed. He just licked my nipples, whispered something like “God they taste so good” and I was like “will you fuck me already.”   
“And did he?”  
“Yeah. Like after an hour of foreplay when I was almost asleep. Worst sex of my life. I mean - except Jeffrey of course.”  
Sophia smiled a little. In Jensen`s scale of sex his former husband was always on the lowest level and no one - no matter how bad they were - could be worse than Jeffrey.  
“And you walked away?”  
“Of course I walked away. You know I never stay. Even though it took some strength - that idiot fell asleep on me. And he was big and fucking heavy. God, remind me to never fuck big and heavy guys from now on.”  
“Ha-ha-ha.” Sophia laughs.” As if you listen to anyone when you`re in any of your strong, rebel characters.”  
“Hey, that’s not fair! I’m listening now.”   
“Yeah, today you are Jensen, my sweet high school friend, a boy who walks barefoot in the grass and sleeps in the sun. But tomorrow you’ll be Ross with an Armani suit and smartass attitude or maybe JR – a boy next door who always knows best, or…  
“Okay, okay, I get it. I know you hate me sometimes for playing a new character every day, but I can’t help it, Soph. I just can’t stop it. Every day I feel different, every day I see myself differently…”  
“Honey, stop it. I don’t hate your characters. I love you and they’re a part of you. How could I hate them? I just…”  
“What?”  
“They’re all lonely…”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You’ll be mad…”  
“Tell me? Soph, I promise I won’t be mad whatever you say.”  
“Well, okay…” Sophia looks at Jensen for a moment and gathers all her courage. She knows her best friend can get mad in seconds if he doesn’t like what he hears. But on the other hand - he’s Jensen today. He’s sweet and tender and wearing glasses. There is something in every character of Jensen Ross Smith that Sophia loves, but this - sweet, kind and friendly Jensen - she loves the most.  
“Your characters…” Sophia says. “They’re all lonely, searching for something but never finding it. They all have sex with different men every time but it’s meaningless. Jensen, you’re thirty three. You’ve had this lifestyle since you left Jeffrey and Richardson. Maybe… maybe it’s time to move on already.”  
“Move on? But Soph, I have moved on. I’m not that boring and unhappy wife of Jeffrey Dean Morgan anymore. I’m free and strong. I have my own money, thanks to you, I have self-esteem for the first time in my life. And I don’t feel imprisoned, I don’t feel trapped like I felt those twelve years while I was married. I’m happy, Soph. I really am. I have sex like a hundred times more often and a thousand times better than it was with Jeffrey. And I have a perfect relationship with you - between us there is more love, support and understanding than I ever had with my former husband.”   
“But I’m a girl, Jensen. I’ve been your friend since childhood. You can’t compare our relationship with the relationship between two people in love. A gay boy can`t just live off the love from his fag-hag. You need a partner, a lover, maybe even a husband.”   
“Don`t, Soph.” Jensen stiffens. “I don`t need another husband. Ever. And as for a lover – I have a lot of those.” Jensen laughs a little but he’s serious in what he says. “I have all those homosexual and bi-curious men out there for meaningless, sometimes good, sometimes bad, and sometimes - if I get lucky - perfect one-night stands. And I have you to talk to or call in the middle of the night. I’m sure you’ll never cheat on me, lie to me, or betray me. And I’ll do anything for you - you know that.”  
Sophia looks at Jensen for a long time. She loves him. He has that special indescribable aura about him. He’s funny, sincere and honest no matter which character he is. But he’s not happy even if he thinks he is. He’s searching for something even if he doesn’t realize it. But Sophia sees it and she can only hope he’ll find it and be happy – happy for real - at last. But no matter what, she’ll always stand by him.  
“I love you, too.” Sophia says simply, leans closer and kisses Jensen`s cheek.  
They lay in silence for a long time when Sophia speaks again.  
“By the way - I haven’t told you how my meeting with _Independent Studios_ went.”  
“Right. Meeting was yesterday. I was so busy planning your Australian tour that I forgot about it. So, how did it go?”  
“They’re planning a romcom and… they want me to star in it.”  
“Really? Fuck, now you’ll not only be a famous musician but an actress too.”  
“Don’t get too excited. They just invited me to casting. I’m almost sure I won’t get the part. I mean – I’ve never acted before. I don’t know how to do it in the first place.”  
“You said it’s a romcom. So basically you’ll have to play yourself – romantic and funny brunette. I don’t think it’s too hard.”  
“Not for you - you play different characters every day. But I only know how to be me.”  
“Oh, don’t try to convince me you’ve never imagined yourself being somebody else. Still you, but the other you.”  
“Of course I have - but it’s different. It’s just imagination, it’s not real.”  
“Then make it real. I mean - it’s all in your head. All those rules and regulations, just forget about them and make the fantasy real.”  
“It’s so easy for you.” Sophia laughs a little. “Anyway - I’ll try my best because they want - guess who they want for the other main part in the movie?”  
“I don’t know? Hugh Grant maybe.”  
“Eewww… He’s old. No, someone much sexier and you like him too.”  
“I like him too. So he`s gay?”  
“Close. He`s bi.”  
Jensen thinks for a moment and then he screams happily.  
“It’s Sam Winchester, isn’t it? Fuck, can’t be, Soph!”  
Sophia laughs. Jensen is a big fan of the TV series “Supernatural” and he’s crazy about its main character Sam Winchester, played by actor Jared Padalecki. “Supernatural” had six seasons and ended three years ago but still has many fans all around the world.  
“Yeah, I’ll be kissing Jared Padalecki and you can drop dead from envy.”  
“Oh, God, Soph. That’s amazing. You have to tell me every dirty little detail.”  
“Jesus, calm down. It’s not like he’s gonna fuck me or anything. It’s casting, it’s not real.”  
“Can I be there?”  
“What? No! No. You’re gonna hit on him - I know.”  
“Soph, please… Please, please, please…” Jensen looks like he’s seventeen or eighteen, not thirty three - so innocent and excited. And Sophia loves him that way.  
“As if I ever could say no to you…”


	2. Chapter 2

So many people in such a small space. Everyone in such a rush. After his motorcycle accident a year ago, Jared hasn’t been to any castings. He spent almost two months in hospital. When they let him go home, he still needed time for full recovery so he locked himself in his big, old house in the suburbs of Los Angeles. It’s quiet there because it’s far enough away from Hollywood. Jared loves his house. He bought it eight years ago when the WB picked up “Supernatural” for a second season. But this last year his house has become more like a prison. No one imprisoned him, it was his choice, but Jared just didn’t feel like going anywhere. The biggest public appearances were grocery shopping in the closest supermarket or getting a haircut in the local barber’s saloon. He didn’t do Mister Hollywood parties, movie premieres or award shows. After six years of his hugely popular TV show “Supernatural” and five movies that Jared had shot between the seasons, Jared Padalecki was a ‘someone’ in Hollywood. Not a superstar like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, not even a smaller star like Ewan Macgregor or Ashton Kutcher but still recognized and followed by paparazzi. “Supernatural” got cult status and it seemed like every horror movie loving guy in the world was fan of Jared. The strangest thing was - “Supernatural” got major popularity among the female audience too and it was the worst. Anywhere Jared went, women asked for autographs, tried to get photos with him, started conversations and made moves on him. Some other man would have enjoyed it but Jared – he just couldn`t. Not after the accident. Popularity and too much attention to his persona made him tired and unhappy. But now - after a year of absence Jared decided to return. After all, he is an actor and he loves his profession. His agent sent him this script and Jared loved it. Phone calls were made and _Independent Studios_ invited him to casting. So there he is now - hiding behind sunglasses and baseball hat, trying his best not to freak out. _Independent Studios_ is located in a huge building with many floors. It takes some time for Jared to get through the crowded first floor foyer and catch an elevator. Jared is a little claustrophobic that`s why he hates taking elevators but he understands that he must get over his fear. The elevator is full of people. In his peripheral vision Jared notices a beautiful woman checking him out. Fuck, that`s starting again. She has recognized him as Sam Winchester; she will ask his autograph, want to talk about “Supernatural” and take photos of him with her cell phone. But none of that happens. Jared is just not aware of how handsome he is. That woman in the elevator didn’t recognize him as actor Jared Padalecki, she just saw an attractive man and couldn`t take her eyes off of him.

When elevator opens and Jared gets out at last, he feels relieved. But the whole way from home to _Independent Studios_ is nothing compared to what will happen in casting.

 

Mister Smith is marching five steps back and forth in casting room. Everyone is there - people from _Independent Studios_ , Sophia Bush, Sophia`s agent Mark Denton, actress Sharon Stuart. And everyone is waiting for someone. Jared Padalecki is late.

Mister Smith is wearing a formal black Armani suit. His hair is gelled and he`s wearing Prada glasses, hiding his deep green eyes behind them. He looks like a businessman – strong-willed, cold and unbreakable. And from the nervous marching you can easily guess that patience isn`t something he`s strong at. Casting director Ted Adams can`t take his eyes off of him. He`s perfectly aware of it, he enjoys it. They had a small flirt earlier when Mark Denton introduced the _Independent Studios_ people to Sophia and her personal assistant Mister Smith. He`s nervous but he hides it under the mask of impatience. Suddenly, the doors open and his secretary lets in a tall, athletic man with floppy chestnut color hair hidden under baseball hat. He`s wearing sunglasses so it`s impossible to see the color of his eyes but Mister Smith knows they are a mysterious and changing mix of dark green, light brown and a bit of blue.

“Jared, you`re here.” Ted Adams approaches Jared.

“Yes… I`m here.” Jared says, looking uncomfortable.

“Good to see you. You look good, really good. That crash - so awful. When I heard about it I was so worried, but I’m glad you’re okay and returning to work. Hollywood missed you.” Ted Adams can`t stop talking.

“Thanks…” Is all Jared says.

Ted Adams introduces everyone to Jared. At last Sophia is introduced.

“Sophia Bush. Jared - I`m sure you`ve heard Sophia`s music.”

“Yeah, I have. Nice to meet you.” Jared shakes Sophia`s hand.

“And this is Sophia`s personal assistant Mister Smith.”

“Mr. Padalecki!” Mister Smith reaches his hand toward Jared. He takes it and shakes it. He`s surprised how strong the handshake is but he forgets about it immediately because he hears Mister Smith saying.

“I hope it`s not too sunny for you here.”

And there is silence - uneasy, uncomfortable and even cold silence. Sophia blushes, Ted Adams starts mumbling something about “too much sun in California”.

“I`m sorry…” Jared says and feels even more uncomfortable than before.

Mister Smith keeps staring at him as if he has some kind of x-ray mounted in his glasses and can see Jared’s eyes through his sunglasses. At last Jared takes them off.

“I just… I guess I`m too used to wearing them that I forgot to take them off. I… I`m sorry if I made somebody…”

Mister Smith has no interest in his excuses. Or maybe he`s just afraid to look in those color-changing eyes and be hypnotized. Anyway, he looks at his watch and interrupts Jared.

“I guess we can start our casting at last. Don`t you think so, Mr. Adams?”

At this point Jared can describe Mister Smith only with one word - “annoying”. But he can easily add another word - “asshole”.

Casting has officially started. Ted Adams and writer of the script Bred Jones tell how they see characters of this story and why they think Jared and Sophia are perfect to play Johnny and Jane. Mister Smith keeps looking at Jared who does a perfect job in ignoring him. Ted Adams uses every opportunity to look at Mister Smith. He acts as if he doesn`t notice it but each time he`s looking Mister Smith does something that you could consider flirting – like half closing his eyes, glasses sliding lower on his nose, licking his full bottom lips, sighing deeply.

Despite all his efforts to ignore Mister Smith, Jared notices his flirting with Ted Adams. After all - he`s a bisexual male and he hasn`t had sex for some time. Let`s not go into details - but it`s been quite a long time.

At one point Mister Smith reaches for a bottle of mineral water. He ignores the glass, opens the bottle and drinks it with small gulps. Sophia sighs deeply - she knows perfectly what Mister Smith is doing. It`s a cheap trick, but only Sophia seems to think so. Maybe because she knows Mister Smith so well. Some droplets of Evian are still on Mister Smith`s lips when he moves bottle away from his mouth. One small droplet streams down on his chin and then moves to his neck. You can hear at least five people swallowing hard in chorus at this view. Ted Adams starts murmuring and forgets what he wanted to say, Sophia sighs deeply again, Sharon Stuart licks her lips and Jared Padalecki blushes because Mister Smith was staring straight into his eyes while doing that “cheap water trick” as Sophia calls it.

“It`s so hot in here.” Mister Smith says suddenly. “Don’t you think so, Mr. Padalecki?”

”H-hot…” Jared`s voice sounds strange. He does his best to get his normal tone of voice back. “No, it`s… it`s okay.”

”Sorry, I just thought that it could be hot to be here in a hat.”

“No, it`s just…”

Fuck. Now Jared understands what Mister Smith is really talking about. He made him take off sunglasses and now he`s after his baseball hat.

“No fucking way!” is Jared’s first thought. Jared hates fighting, he’s pacifist, but it’s too much even for him.  
“I’m fine, Mister Smith. Thanks for your concern.”   
In his thoughts he’s much more emotional. _“Fuck you very much, asshole!”_  
Mister Smith feels how annoyed and angry Jared is. He reads people easily - it’s the greatest talent he possesses. It’s the main reason why he can be anyone he wants to be, why he can become anything you’ve ever dreamed of, anything you’ve ever wanted and even more. He can be everything that you need but haven’t figured out just yet.  
Mister Smith feels that Jared suppresses his emotions. He tends to be polite even when he wants to scream. He holds his emotions deep inside and doesn’t let them escape.   
“No problem.” Mister Smith says. “Do you maybe want some water, Mr. Padalecki?”  
“No, thanks, Mister Smith.”  
“Are you sure, Mr. Padalecki?”  
“Yes, I’m sure, Mister Smith.” Jared grits his teeth. But he doesn’t feel uncomfortable anymore.  
“Good.” Mister Smith says, staring straight into those color-changing eyes. “It’s always good to be sure of what you want and what you don’t.”  
A silence falls across the casting room. Everybody’s listening with interest to this strange exchange between Mister Smith and Mr. Padalecki. It feels like there is some higher meaning in the words said, but on the other hand - it could be just an ordinary meaningless chat.  
Out of nowhere, Jared doesn’t feel so annoyed with Mister Smith anymore. It’s not only what he said, but his tone of voice when he said it. Suddenly it wasn’t that smartass Mister Smith anymore. Like for a small moment he lost his character. Jared looks deep into Mister Smith`s eyes as if trying to find some answers there. Mister Smith feels it and turns away.   
“Do you, Mister Smith? Know what you want.” Jared asks.  
So far Mister Smith thought that he was the one who’s unpredictable, can take people by surprise, and nothing unexpected ever happens to him. Well - you know what, folks - Mr. Padalecki just changed that.  
Mister Smith does an almost impeccable job in ignoring Jared’s straight gaze and his even straighter question.  
“Please, excuse me for a moment.”   
He stands up and walks out of the room before Jared or anyone else can see that he is blushing because Mister Smith never blushes.  
Sophia is worried about Mister Smith and wants to follow him but meets Jared’s inquiring gaze and doesn’t move.  
Ted Adams misses Mister Smith’s presence. He will never confess that he has a kink for the steely, dominant type.  
There is more talking about the script and actors read a few pages as their characters. Mister Smith never comes back to the casting room. When the casting is over, Mister Smith sees from around the corner how Jared shakes Sophia`s hand, comes out of the casting room and walks to the elevator. When Jared is gone, Mister Smith approaches Sophia and tells her that he’s alright. After about five minutes, he’s in the casting room alone with Ted Adams. He gives him orders and Adams licks his shoes eagerly. After that Mister Smith fucks him over the table. After all, he’s not so bad for a bottom.


	3. Chapter 3

Home sweet home.  
Jared had spent so much time alone in his big house and had never felt lonely. Suddenly he does. He re-reads the script of the production with the working title “Between my legs”. Sophia Bush will have a song in her new album with that name if she is in the movie and _Independent Studios_ will use this song as the main theme of the film. Jared likes Sophia even though he’s a bit scared of her assistant.  
Jared’s cell phone rings. It’s Chad Michael Murray, Jared’s best friend since “Supernatural”.  
“Hey!” Jared answers.  
“Hey, Jay-bird. So, how did the casting go?”  
“Good. We’re having a screen test next week.”  
“How’s Sophia Bush? I love her music.” Chad seems excited.  
Jared smiles.  
“Just music?”

“Well, okay, not just music. She`s fucking sexy as hell. Those breasts and legs and…

“Okay, okay – I know – I saw her just hours ago.” Jared laughs. Chad has had an enormous crush on her ever since he could remember. And Jared – being bi as he is – of course noticed Sophia`s good looks. But – truth be told – he was kind of distracted by someone else.

“She’s cool, even though her personal assistant is crazy.” Jared finally says.  
“Assistant? You mean people still have personal assistants? I thought managers and agents were enough.”  
“Apparently not. Sophia has one and he’s an annoying asshole.”  
“So it’s a male. I instantly imagined a girl in old-fashioned clothes, glasses, greasy hair, two mobile phones pressed to each ear and no personal life when you said “personal assistant”.”

Well, strangely enough some of that description fits.  
“So, why do you think he’s an “asshole”?”  
“Because he is!”  
“Ohh, so he’s a fan. And you thought the world had forgotten about Sam Winchester…” Chad teases.  
“Well, you’re wrong. He’s not a fan. He’s just one of those smartass controlling uptight assholes who thinks he knows best. He made me take off my sunglasses!”  
“You mean - he ordered!”  
“Not exactly, but he made me feel like an arrogant bastard. It wasn’t my intention to sit through the casting in glasses. I just forgot to take them off and he made such a fucking big deal out of it.”   
Chad just laughs.  
“Oh, stop laughing. It wasn’t funny, it was almost fucking scary. He was flirting with the casting director. The guy was fucking driveling.”  
“Why scary then - he wasn’t flirting with you…” Chad couldn’t stop laughing.  
“You know - sometimes you’re such a fucking douche. Anyway - at first, he was just annoying, then he was more like an asshole, but then… it was strange. For a moment he changed, he seemed different.”  
“What do you mean - different?”  
“Like a real person, a person with feelings, a person who’s not always sure about himself, who has doubts… I don’t know. I can’t really describe it.”  
“So you liked him after all.”  
“Liked? Of course not, he’s crazy.”  
“Yeah, and you are so normal. You were scared to go to casting because “there will be so many people”.”  
“So what - I just can’t stand crowds. It doesn’t make me crazy.”  
“No. Not crazy. Maybe just a little insane…”  
“Ha-ha - very funny.”  
“You know - I think you’re so annoyed because he made a move on that casting director instead of you.”   
“And you call me insane? Better look in the mirror, Chad.”  
“Denial. How typical. Seriously Jay-bird, you need to get laid. You haven’t enjoyed the company of a woman or a man for so long that you’re freaking out when you’re around anyone who clearly has a lot of sex.”  
“Oh – Chad – you are so smart. You know me so well!” Jared says sarcastically.  
Chad just laughs.

   
Jensen Ross Smith on the other hand never discusses his first meeting with Jared Padalecki with his best friend Sophia Bush even though Sophia tries to start the conversation more than once. He just promises he’ll never make a move on Jared. Sophia wants to believe him but she knows how versatile her best friend is.  
After six days _Independent Studios_ is filming a screen test with Jared Padalecki and Sophia Bush. Jared is relieved when he doesn’t see Mister Smith anywhere.   
Shooting of the screen-test is going well. Jared talks with Sophia a few times. Sophia is nervous; Jared has more practice in kissing on screen then she has. They try kissing a few times and awkwardness dissolves with every minute. Jared doesn’t give any attention to the guy in a baseball hat, sneakers and blue overalls. He looks like a messenger or some other working staff from production group. But Sophia is perfectly aware of his presence. He catches all those encouraging smiles the guy sends her every once in a while. When Sophia and Jared kiss, he blushes a little and smiles even more sunshiny. When someone asks him to help with some decorations on the set, he helps eagerly. He’s never done any carpenter work but he tries his best. But there is a minor accident and he cuts his hand. He takes it calmly and goes to the restroom. When he opens the door, he meets familiar cat-like eyes.

Oh. My. God.

Jared Padalecki is standing there in front of the mirror, washing his hands.  
“Are you alright?” Jared asks.  
“What?” He still hasn’t gotten over the shock.  
“You’re bleeding.”  
“Bleeding?” He looks down at his hands and remembers why he’s here. “Yeah, right. I had a minor accident. Nothing special.”  
“Come here - you need to get it under water.”  
The guy hesitates just for a moment then approaches Jared and the sink. He puts his hand under the stream of cold water. Jared takes his hand and looks closer at the wound.  
“It’s not deep but still has to be taken care of.”  
“Okay.” He says.  
Jared looks for a moment at guy`s face.  
“Hey, have we met before?”  
The guy smiles somewhat mysteriously.  
“I don’t think so? Why do you ask?”  
“It’s just… No, probably nothing.” Jared is a bit confused. “I saw the first aid kit somewhere around here.”  
Jared looks in the small bathroom closet above the sinks.   
“Here it is!”  
He takes out some antiseptic and bandages, and starts taking care of the wound.  
“So, what were you sawing?”  
“Hmm?” He’s too fascinated with Jared taking care of his wound that he didn’t quite get the question Jared was asking.  
“The wound - it’s made by a saw.” Jared smiles a little at the guy.  
“How do you know?” The guy seems surprised.  
“I enjoy doing some carpenter work once in a while. I know how sawing wounds look, and I know how bad they hurt.” Jared says as he puts cotton with antiseptic on the wound. The guy doesn’t say a word. The only reaction to the pain he’s experiencing is a little shiver of his body.  
“Are you okay?” Jared’s a bit worried.  
“I said - I’m fine!” The guy sounds a bit annoyed. Something in his expression seems so familiar to Jared. No! It can’t be! Man in front of him looks so simple, his right cheek is a bit dirty, he`s wearing a baseball hat with the L.A. Lakers symbol. He seems much younger and more sympathetic than Mister Smith but still - that face is so alike.   
“What is your name?” Jared asks suddenly.  
“JR.” He answers.  
“JR?” He’s more confused than before. “Just JR?”   
“Yes, friends call me JR.” He says with smile on his face.  
This guy is certainly not Mister Smith. Mister Smith would never allow anyone to call him his initials. No fucking way. So Jared decides to drop the subject.  
“Okay, then - your wound is bandaged, JR! By the way - I’m Jared.” He reaches his hand in front of JR, JR takes it and shakes it eagerly, smile never leaving his lips.  
“Nice to meet you, Jared! Do you wanna fuck now?”  
Jared chokes on his saliva and frees his hand from handshake instantly.  
“Excuse me?”  
“You heard me perfectly. I like you and you seem to like me, don’t you?”  
“Yeah, but…”  
“Come on - let’s not make it all so complicated. Are you in or what?”  
“I’m sorry, I don’t think…”  
“It’s okay - don’t get so stressed - it’s bad for your health. I just asked.” He seems a bit sad. “Anyway - thanks for taking care of my wound.”  
JR turns around and leaves the restroom.  
Jared stands there for some time still shocked. Fuck. Maybe Chad is right - he hasn’t been around people for so long. Jared looks around the empty the restroom and suddenly images of fucking JR flash in front of his eyes. Fuck, maybe he really should have said “yes” to the guy. He really did like him and he was so easy and friendly. He didn’t recognize him - at least he didn’t act like a crazy fan, even if he did recognize Jared. Jared’s such a moron!  
When Jared walks out of the restroom at last, he catches a glimpse of JR kissing some guy who looks like a messenger. Jared looks intently as the guy’s hands travel over JR`s body – exploring, searching. JR drops his head back, eyes closed, lips parted. Jared thinks he can hear a moan escaping from that sinful mouth but maybe he`s just imagining it because he`s quite far away. Jared watches longingly as they disappear in one of the staff rooms. Jared feels a sudden need to go home and jerk off in a cold shower.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s been a month since the screen test shooting. Jared Padalecki and Sophia Bush are now officially signed to play Johnny and Jane in “Between my legs”. _Independent Studios_ is throwing a party in a big mansion in Hollywood Hills to celebrate. Many celebrities are there. Jared tries to be sociable and enjoy the attention to his persona even though he hates it. Good thing Sophia is there - Jared always feels safer when familiar faces are around him.  
Ross is alone in the corner. He avoids being close to his best friend Sophia because she’s in the spotlight all night and he’s too shy to be in the middle of all those people.  
Jensen is wearing a simple dark green sweater vest over black shirt. It brings out his eyes that are almost the same color, just a bit lighter. His dark blond hair is shiny and spiked up. He drinks champagne and smiles at Sophia whenever she looks his way.

After a few hours, Ross is hiding in the library. Some men and quite a lot of women tried to flirt with him but he refused. Maybe he just isn’t in the mood today or maybe he`s longing for someone he can’t have. Anyway - Sophia promised to look for him in the library when she`s ready to go home but till then he can enjoy the silence of the lonely room and the company of books. Ross looks through the huge bookshelves. He notices many familiar books - mostly first editions - collector`s items. He used to read a lot, now he has no time. Now he has different interests every day.

He chooses Max Frisch’s “I`m not Stiller”. It`s one of his favorite books. He sits down in a big armchair and starts reading.

Jared Padalecki wants to run but he knows someone`s going to notice if he leaves so early. So, he`s looking for some place where he can be alone for at least an hour. And he finds the library. Jared likes books, he has read many. When he walks into the library he`s so stunned by how full it is with so many first editions of classical novels that he doesn`t notice that he`s not alone in there. He looks through shelves till he finds a first edition of “The Great Gatsby”. He opens it immediately with a smooth smile on his face.

“Great Gatsby” huh?”

Jared`s walk down memory lane is interrupted by someone. He immediately turns around and there he is - guy in a green sweater vest when every man tonight is wearing a tuxedo or at least a suit - sitting in an armchair, a book in his hands. Something is so familiar about him, but Jared can`t put his finger on it. Maybe it`s the dim light of the library or champagne clouding his vision. Still – there is something about the guy. The stranger smiles.

“Sorry, it wasn`t my intention to scare you.” He says with a thick British accent.

“No, it`s… I just thought I was alone here.”

“You know - you are not the only one trying to escape in this crazy little Hollywood.” He still smiles, eyes crinkling in the corners.

His smile is so tacky that Jared can`t help it - he smiles back.

“So, you admit that you are escaping?”

“Isn`t that obvious? Party is out there but I`m sitting here alone with a book in my hands.”

“Right. But then again - why come to a party at all if you end up escaping from it…”

“Sometimes you just have to do things you don`t wanna do. Basic rule of the life.”

“Yeah.” Jared agrees to that. “If you wanna be a part of Hollywood you can`t ignore some simple rules - like parties in mansions surrounded by paparazzi, movie premiers, award shows…”

“Fundraisers, birthday parties, balls held in honor of someone you don`t even know and don`t understand what they’re honored for at all…”

“And you must feel grateful that they invited you at all, because if they didn`t - you`re the outsider. You`re no one…”

“So you go and smile and act as if you`re having a good time and try not to be the first to leave because it’s bad form.”

“Strange, isn`t it?” Jared smiles at the man in front of him. “Arriving on time is bad form, to be the first to arrive - means you`re desperate, to leave before others means you are disrespecting them; to be the last guest after everybody’s gone means - you`re intrusive…”

“So many rules. How to keep it all straight?”

“Exactly! I don`t understand how they can remember all that! I mean - they have to remember who is who, who is worth remembering, who is worth being seen with, who you should never be seen with because it’s social suicide… How do you remember all that and the lines for the morning shoot?”

 “I guess that`s why they have managers, agents, personal assistants, personal make-up specialists, stylists, PRists…”

“Yeah, should be the reason…” Jared comes closer and reaches his hand out to the man. “Jared.” He introduces.

The guy shakes his hand. His handshake is strong but not too much. Something is so familiar about it.

“Ross”.

Ross` voice or those eyes, or maybe lips. It`s some strange déjà vu but Jared blames it on too much champagne.

“So - what are you doing at this party, Ross?”

“Escaping from it!” He smiles. “But before I escaped, I was escorting my boss.”

“Escorting?”

“Not that kind of escort.” Ross grins. “She just didn’t have a date so she took her personal assistant to the party. You know - it’s bad form to show up without a date.” Ross whispers as a big secret and they both start laughing.

“And what were you doing at this party, Jared? Of course before you escaped from it and hid in library?”

“Just the guest of honor.” Jared smiles.

“Uh, how modest!” Jensen teases.

“Not that I asked to be guest of honor. Sometimes you just can`t control your popularity.” Jared sighs heavily.

“You feel like an ordinary person but they look at you as if you were an alien or something.”

“Exactly. At first it`s flattering, it feeds your ego. But soon you get tired because they don’t see a person in you anymore, they don’t try to understand you. They just wanna feel special about themselves because they have met you and taken photos with you. Like you`re one of the seven world wonders or something. They act like you owe them something.”

“But maybe it`s their biggest dream to breathe the same air… I mean - they live their lives and they dream about something more, something different. And then they see this celebrity and it`s like they can reach their dream. Even if it`s just for a moment. But it`s a big deal. Celebrities meet their fans, get annoyed, sign autographs and forget. But fans - they never forget those meetings, they remember forever.”

“I remember many fans, the fans who were really interested in me and my work as an actor. But I try to forget the screaming fan girls who just go crazy about the imagined character I played and can`t  draw the line between reality and TV as fast as I can.”

“Is there really a line? People act everywhere - TV, stage, reality. Everywhere.”

“Maybe. But there’s a difference. On TV, on stage - you only see the things about the character the script writer and director wants you to see. It`s not everything about that character. It`s just the most interesting, fascinating parts. But in real life - there is everything, not only the interesting parts but boring ones too. Bad and good, things that make you sick, everything. And it’s hard when someone looks at you like you`re a character from the screen. It`s not real and it pisses me off…”

There is a silence for a good five minutes.

“So…” Jensen decides to break the ice. “You like “The Great Gatsby”?”

“One of my favorite books!” Jared seems excited. “Have you read it?”

“Yeah, three times if I remember correctly.”

“Whoa, three times!”

“Why do you seem so shocked?”

“I know it`s in high school literature class programs and mostly everyone has read it or at least tried to read it. But to read more than once…”

“Yeah, first time I read it was in high school.” Jensen smiles. “But after high school I re-read most of the books I have read before. Just to understand how I feel about them now. You know - people change, grow up, time passes and you see things differently. Suddenly you find out you love things you used to hate…”

“And - you like it?”

“The Great Gatsby”? Well. I wasn`t fascinated with it when I read it the first time. But when I re-read it - I felt different - I guess I understood Nick Carraway better. But after I re-read it three years ago, I fell in love with Jay Gatsby.”

“Yeah, Jay Gatsby was always my favorite character. I don`t know. I guess it fascinated me that you really can love someone so much that you can forgive anything, do anything, to be close, wait no matter how long it takes. Even if that person isn`t worth it. She was in his eyes.”

“I don’t think he did it for her…”

“What?”

“I think he did it for himself. He tried to be someone else. He just thought he needed her but he was wrong. That`s the tragedy of Gatsby. Actually I think he was gay.”

“Gay?”

“Yeah. He loved Nick and Nick loved him back. Remember what Nick said close to the end. He talked about Daisy, Jeffrey and Jordan."They're a rotten crowd. You're worth the whole damn bunch put together." And that was while he was still with Jordan and Daisy was his cousin.”

“I have never heard that kind of interpretation of “Great Gatsby”.

Jared smiles. Ross is perfect. He has never met a person so smart and so true in Hollywood. He`s not displaying the traditional opinion - he has his own.

“I bet you haven`t.” Ross smiles back.

“And what are you reading?”

Jared takes the book out of Jensen`s lap and their hands touch for a moment. Their eyes meet. It`s electric. Smiles fade. There is silence. It takes some time for Jared to remember what he wanted to ask.

“I`m not Stiller”?”

Ross just smiles at his question.

“By Max Frisch. He`s from Switzerland.”

“I know who Frisch is.” Jared surprises Ross.

“You do?”

““Homo Faber”, “Gantenbein”… I read those.”

“Did you like?”

“Well, I could identify with the alienation.”

“Yeah. Characters so bored with their life how it is. That`s why “Stiller” is my favorite. If you identify yourself with one person, people around you imprison you in that one personality and you can`t be somebody else anymore.”

“You can change. First of all you have duty to yourself, duty to be whoever you wanna be. And only after that follow your duties to people around you.”

“But sometimes people around you - they don`t let you be, to choose. They control your life one way or another; they imprison you in the personality they want you to be. The way you are most comfortable for them. And you can`t change.”

“Why?”

“Because… Because even if you do, they still look at you the same way. They don`t notice things you changed about yourself. They still see you as they used to. And you can only escape and be someone else. Drop everything you used to be. Change everything about yourself and be somebody else. Somebody you always wanted to be but didn`t dare even imagine you could.”

“But isn`t that hard? I mean - if you drop all you have been - you lose everything, all your personality. Doesn`t it make you feel lost?”

“Lost? You don`t have time to feel lost. Suddenly you can be anything you want to be. It`s like magic, like drugs… It takes you over and you can`t stop anymore. Because you love it. Love it more than you ever imagined possible.”

“You seem so passionate about it, Ross.”

“I am! I really am! You know there is a feeling. There isn`t name for it but… It`s like you have been asleep all your life, as if you were in your body but you couldn’t control it. People around you did. They moved you, they talked instead of you, and they controlled your thoughts and feelings. And then suddenly you`re in control. Not just in control of yourself but in control of everything. You can be anything you wanna be, you can make people believe you are anything they want, everything they need. They don`t make you. You do it for them. You play them the way they played you…”

“Are we still talking about a book or you?”

Ross’ face changes and he stands up from the armchair. He goes to the bookshelves and puts “I`m not Stiller” back in its place.

“Sorry, I didn`t mean to…” Jared feels the tension and hates it.

“Shut up!” Ross says and Jared obeys. Not because of what he said but how he looked at him when he said it.

Ross approaches Jared. He bends on his knees in front of him.

“What…” Jared wants to know, wants to understand.

“Shhhh…” Ross puts a finger across Jared’s lips. “Kiss me.” He says.

Jared doesn`t move.  
“Kiss me…” Ross repeats and adds. “You fool…”

And Jared does.


	5. Chapter 5

At first it’s only lips. Jared`s lips on Ross` lips or the other way around. Who knows. It doesn`t matter. It`s so soft, tender and a bit tickling. Their lips don`t move, they just touch and press together for a moment. And then it`s over. Ross moves away just a bit and looks into Jared`s eyes.

“I want you...”

He says. And that`s as easy as it is. Jared understands those words; he understands that Ross really wants him, not some idea or myth about him.

Jared takes Ross` face in his hands and pulls him closer, lips on lips, noses in cheeks. Now it`s strong, aggressive, tough, with a hint of desperation. Not life-or-death desperation. More like melodramatic, playful desperation, passionate desperation for claim and discovery of something new, something unexpected.

Jared pushes his tongue into Ross` mouth and he welcomes it with his own. It`s fight and dance at the same time, it`s adaptation and recognition. Their mouths busy with pleasurable and delicious discovery, hands moving and touching, searching for something more. And more. And never enough.

Jared`s hands on Ross hips. He lifts him and places him in his lap. Ross feels Jared’s hard erection and it makes him crazy, makes him strong and even more self-confident because he knows he did it to Jared. He presses his own hardness into Jared’s, straddling his lap. His hand travels to Jared’s groin and rubs it hard, making him moan in Ross` mouth. He moves instinctively as he finds the zipper of Jared’s trousers and opens it. There is only tender cotton fabric between the skin of his hands and Jared’s hard, fully-erected, huge cock. Ross wants it - wants to see it, taste it, kiss it, worship it. Wants to feel it inside of him. But he doesn’t rush. After all he`s a player, he likes games, longings and expectations. Ross takes Jared`s cock wrapped in his underwear and strokes it tenderly, but more and more intense with every stroke. Jared’s lips leave Ross` to let him express how he feels about his actions.

“Oh, God…” He moans deep…“Fuck…” He cries out.

Ross leaves a long, wet trail on Jared`s cheek with his tongue. Jared feels cold air on it as saliva dries. It`s an indescribable sensation. He desperately wants to make Ross feel as good as he makes him feel. He leans in to his neck and mouths it hard, instinctively finding the most sensitive spots.

“Jared…” Ross whispers. There is desperation and need in his voice. “Please…”

“I want you…”

Jared says so close to Ross` ear, that he can feel his hot breath on his skin. It makes pleasurable waves go through his whole body and he shivers a little.

Ross feels Jared’s lips traveling down his neck. Jared’s hands are squeezing his ass cheeks. Ross lets out a deep sigh, grinding his erection against Jared’s muscular hip.

“Fuck, Jared…”

Ross screams aloud and Jared shuts him up with his lips. Unconsciously Jensen bites Jared`s lip. Jared whimpers as he feels pain and the taste of blood. Jensen realizes what he`s done but he`s not uncomfortable or sorry for it. He likes the taste of his blood because it`s Jared and not someone else. Ross licks his lip gently making Jared go crazy, still stroking his hard cock through fabric.

“Stop!” Jared screams because he feels he won`t last any longer if Ross won`t stop.

“It`s okay.” Ross whispers tenderly, irritating Jared`s bleeding lip with his hot breath. “I want you to come hard. In your underwear.”

“Oh, God, Ross…”

“Do it!” He orders disallowing objections.

And Jared does. He comes screaming Ross` name as Ross watches him. He hasn’t ever seen anything so beautiful. Ross is still hard and leaking. Aching. He hasn`t gotten his release but he doesn`t care. He gets orgasms almost every day, he collects them and forgets them, soon all of them seem alike, just the everyday routine. What he feels now is more than an orgasm. There is no word for it, no description. It`s butterflies fucking in his stomach and a painful shiver takes over his whole body.

“I…” He wants to say something but he struggles.

Jared looks into his eyes. He`s still in shock of how strong the orgasm he just experienced was.

“I have never…” Jared says.

“Perfect?” Ross asks because it`s the only word that could come close in describing what just happened between them.

“Perfect.” Jared agrees. “You`re perfect.”

“I am?” Ross is not sure, he can`t believe.

“You are.” Jared says so passionately that Ross dares to believe it for the first time.

Jared smiles and Ross feels tears forming in his eyes.

“Jensen Ross Smith!” Suddenly someone interrupts. “What the fuck is going on here?”

Jared and Ross turn their heads to where the voice is coming from. It`s Sophia Bush. And she`s angry.

Jensen turns back and faces Jared.

“I`m sorry…” He whispers.

Jared doesn`t understand what he’s apologizing for. But soon he will find out.

“Soph, please…” Ross gets up from Jared`s lap.

“Jensen, you promised you wouldn’t fuck him.” Sophia screams.

 “It`s Ross today. And… I know. I promised…” Jensen says quietly.

“I’m going to work with him; make my first movie with him. You know how much this means to me. How nervous and worried I am, but you still couldn`t stop, could you? You still had to have him! God, Jensen, you change them every day; you can have whoever you want. Why? Why the fuck couldn`t you leave him alone.”

“Soph, please…” Tears are streaming slowly from Jensen`s eyes.

“Hold on for a moment, please.” Jared gets up from the armchair. “What is going on here? Sophia, how do you know Ross? Are you two…” Jared suddenly feels sick.

“He`s my personal assistant.” Sophia says.

“Your assi… Wait a minute - Mister Smith was your…” And then Jared hears Sophia`s first words that interrupted them just minutes ago. “Jensen Ross Smith. No, it can`t be!

Jared looks at Ross and now he sees it so clear.

“Mister Smith?” He asks and Ross just nods.

Oh, God…

“JR?”

He nods again.

Fuck. He`s such an idiot. How could he not recognize. How could he be so blind? But he was so different. Mister Smith, JR and Ross are all so distinctive.

“Why?” Jared demands.

“I`m sorry…” Ross says.

Jared grabs Jensen`s shoulders and shakes so hard that it hurts. Later Jensen will discover bruises on his shoulder but at this moment he doesn`t care. The pain and disappointment in Jared`s eyes hurts much more.

“Why?”

Ross doesn`t answer. He just can`t.

“He`s my best friend.” Sophia says. “And I love him…But… He plays. He`s different every day.”

“Different?” Jared asks to Sophia but still looks at Ross.

“Yeah. He changes his personality every day.”

“Mister Smith, JR…”

“…Ross and Jensen. Four main types and all his characters are variations of them…”

“Soph, stop!” Jensen cries out ashamed.

“Sorry, Jensen. But he has to know. I need him to know or I won`t be able to do the movie. When you fuck - it`s different. It`s not with people I`m friends with. Not till now.”

“Soph…” Jensen pleads.

“Why? Why those characters, Sophia?” Jared turns his gaze away from Ross.

“Just because…” Sophia says. “It`s just the way he is.”

Sophia looks at Jensen and there is softness in her eyes.

“It`s fucking crazy!” Escapes Jared`s mouth.

“Yeah, I`m fucking crazy!” Ross becomes angry.

He escapes Jared`s arms and approaches door. All he wants is to get out of here.

“Where are you…” Jared asks.

“Don`t worry - I`ll do my best to not see you anymore.” Ross says and goes out of the library.

“Sophia, what the…” Jared looks at Sophia to get some reasonable explanation for all this.

“I`m sorry, Jared. I hope it won`t change our friendship or… whatever it is. And don`t worry - he won`t bother you anymore - he already had you. He doesn`t do repeats. And… he wasn`t fooling you or anything. Mister Smith, JR, Ross and Jensen - it`s just who he is, how he feels. I know it`s strange, even crazy, but… It`s just him. It`s just Jensen Ross Smith…”

Jared doesn`t say anything and Sophia just leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

_After 6 months_

   
“So - at last?”  
“Yeah - at last!” Jared smiles.  
“Congrats, man!”  
“Save that for after about six months when “Between my legs” will screen in cinemas.  
“Yeah - but start of the shooting - it`s a big deal. Can`t believe they postponed the project for so long.”  
“It`s mostly because of Sophia Bush. She had a tour in Australia and then the director was busy. It`s traditional - schedule conflicts.”  
“Yeah. But you`re still excited about the movie, aren`t you?”  
“Yes. I think I am.”  
“What? You think… hmmm… he`ll be there?”  
“How would I fucking know!”  
“Uh, calm down, Jared. After that library action you just couldn`t stop talking about him.”  
“Because I was going fucking crazy trying to understand what the hell happened. But I`m not interested anymore. I`m fine, even more - I`m fabulous.”  
Chad laughs.

He knows that after that action in the library with Jensen, Ross or whoever he was, Jared started tricking. In the past six months, Jared has had more one-night stands than in his entire life. Jared tries to convince Chad (or maybe himself) that he`s content with the life he lives now but Chad has his concerns. He thinks that Jared’s searching for something in all those women and men he fucks just once. Three months ago, when Jared visited Chad in Vancouver and they got drunk, Jared confessed that that library scene was the best sex he had ever had even though technically there wasn`t sex at all. It makes you wonder, doesn`t it?

Chad wants Jared to be happy. That`s why he advised Jared to look for Jensen and fuck him - so he will know if it was really as good as he remembers or was it a combination of champagne, the first sex in a long, long time, atmosphere of the library, mystery of a new partner. But Jared is too proud. He can`t get over himself. He hates lies and he still thinks Jensen lied to him.  
“Chad, I`m really alright.” Jared is serious now. “Don`t worry, okay?”  
“Whatever, Jay-bird. But what will you do if you see him?”  
“Chad, don`t…”  
“He`s Sophia’s personal assistant and best friend after all and you will spend almost every day of the next three months with her. Do you really think he will stay…”  
“Chad!” Jared almost screams. “Stop! I don`t… Fuck… I don`t know, okay? I don`t know how I will act or feel… Fuck…”  
“Okay, I won`t say anything anymore. Just… you know - call me anytime.”  
“Yeah, I know. Thanks Chad…”

Jared sits for a long time and thinks after the conversation is over. Will he see him tomorrow? He must go to _Independent Studios_ tomorrow to confirm days and times of shooting for the first two weeks. Managers usually do that but Jared doesn’t have one and his agent is out of country. Who will represent Sophia`s interests? Fuck. Jared is not ready to confess but he wants to see Ross. Or Jensen. Or… Fuck. He doesn`t really know what to call the guy, even in his thoughts. It`s so messed up. He catches himself wondering who he`ll be this time - cold and emotionless business man, buddy type guy next door or opinionated and smart geek guy in a sweater vest.

 

Jared is in the conference room with the people from _Independent Studios_ when he comes in. He`s wearing old jeans and a black v-neck. His hair is a mess, longer now than what Jared remembers. Eyeliner making his eyes even bigger. Fingernails black. He doesn`t look representative at all but Hollywood`s gotten used to that. Production director Paul Marks stands up and greets him.  
“Mister Smith, good to see you!”  
“Oh, Paul, call me JR!” He smiles and shakes his hand eagerly.

“So - JR for today” Jared thinks.  
“I suppose you have met Mr. Padalecki before?”  
“Yeah, we have… met!” Jared says as he stands up and shakes JR`s hand so hard, that he must be feeling some pain but he doesn`t show it. He smiles and says.  
“Mr. Padalecki - you saved my left hand so now you try to kill the other?”

Paul Marks and other people from _Independent Studios_ laugh at that even though they have no idea what JR is talking about. JR is still smiling, Jared automatically says. “Sorry…” and feels like an idiot.

How does he do this? How does he manage to always overpower him?

“Can I have my hand back now?” JR asks, clear smirk playing on his lips.

Oh, fuck - he forgot he`s still holding JR`s hand. Jared frees it and the meeting starts. Jared sees how professional JR is - he does everything in Sophia`s best interest, he disarms bureaucrats from _Independent Studios_ , makes good suggestions and in the end the filming schedule is made exactly as he wanted it. Jared agrees with everything. After all he`s an actor not a schedule planner. And besides, he’s not sure he can object to JR - he`s just too hypnotized. It`s even worse than he imagined it would be. God, he`s so fucked up. And JR doesn`t even look at him, he flirts with that idiot Paul Marks.

When the meeting is over, Jared almost runs. Maybe from JR, but most likely - from himself. He`s in the elevator. The door is closing when someone stops it and enters. JR. And here they are - alone in the elevator. The space is so small and closed. Jared hates it. He`s a bit claustrophobic after all. But the presence of JR makes it ten times worse. He just stands there and keeps silent. With his peripheral vision Jared sees JR`s looking at him but he doesn`t move, he doesn`t say anything.

And then JR makes a move just like in the movies. He pushes the alarm button and the elevator stops.  
“What the…” Jared screams in panic. It`s his worst nightmare.  
“Sorry, but I have to check.”

JR says and starts kissing Jared - dirty, hard and wet. No romance. No tenderness. Just pure need.

Jared doesn`t move. He`s sweating hard. He`s fucking scared. He`s trapped in an elevator. And he`s too shocked with that crazy kiss. Before he`s able to respond JR stops the kiss and moves away.

He is frowning.  
“Well, obviously I remember it all wrong.” JR says and seems sad. “It`s not nearly as good as I remember. Fuck, I remembered you as the best kisser in the universe… Sorry.”

He pushes the button again and the elevator starts moving. Jared can exhale at last. He doesn`t feel so panicked anymore. The elevator opens and JR exits.  
“I won`t bother you anymore. I promise.” He says.

Only now Jared gets those words he said. _“It`s not nearly as good as I remember”…_

Jared runs out of the elevator and follows JR. They`re in an underground parking lot.

“Hey!” Jared tries to stop him, but JR doesn`t stop. He goes straight to his Jeep. “Hey, stop!”

JR`s at his Jeep already and intends to open the door when Jared catches him at last, turns him around so that now JR is facing him. And then Jared attacks JR`s plush lips with his own. It`s punishment. It`s angry and aggressive. He controls it. Jared pushes JR against the Jeep with all the force of his huge body. JR`s trapped, he can`t move, can`t escape. And he doesn`t want to. He fucking enjoys it! He moans and sighs. He feels Jared`s hard on and wants more. He wraps his hands around Jared`s neck and pulls him even closer, rubbing his body against Jared, making him join his moans. Soon JR`s legs are around Jared`s waist, two hard cocks rubbing against each other through layers of denim. Jared`s hands are cupping his ass cheeks. They’re moaning and breathing hard, murmuring filth and dry-humping like over-excited puppies. It`s getting more intense, they`re getting closer to the explosion.

Suddenly there is some noise. They get away from each other. It`s awkward. They realize they’re not alone in the parking lot.  
“How long till your place?” JR`s voice low, lips pink and swollen.  
“Ten minutes.”  
“Eight till mine. You bring a car?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Follow me.”

JR gets in his Jeep and drives away. Jared follows as fast as he can. It`s all instincts, no thinking, no inside conflicts. They want each other, need each other. As fast as possible.

JR stops at the big mansion. So, that’s where he lives…

He gets out of the car and runs to Jared. They meet in a wild kiss. He basically jumps on Jared, wrapping his legs around his waist. Jared can barely hold both of them up because JR is not small in any way. He`s quite tall. Not as tall as Jared, but still, and heavy. Jared takes JR to the house. The door is locked.  
“Key?” He asks.  
With his legs still wrapped around Jared, JR looks for key in the pocket of his jeans. When he finds it he tries to unlock the door but his hand is shaking. Jared tries to help him.  
“Is anyone here?”  
“No. Soph is still in Australia.”

They succeed at last and the doors are unlocked and opened. As they get in and close it behind them they`re all over each other, undressing each other angrily, not worrying about ripping fabric. Jared lifts JR up and puts him on a magazine table near the front door. JR gets a condom from the pocket of his jeans and puts it on Jared`s fully erected cock. Jared asks for lube. JR shakes his head. Jared whines. JR snorts and pulls Jared`s fingers in his mouth. Jared whimpers. JR sucks on the fingers, making them wet.

“Open me up.” He finally murmurs, Jared`s fingers still in his mouth.

“Fuck.” Is the only answer Jared can give.

He easily pushes two fingers into JR`s ass. He`s quite loose.

“More.”

JR demands.

Jared pushes three fingers in, scissoring and stretching fast and hard. JR moans rhythmically, writhing thrusting his hip up.

“Fuck me. Now.”

Jared spits in his own hand, slicks his dick and pushes in JR with one hard thrust without any teasing or foreplay. It`s hard and angry, JR screams out not even trying to control himself. Jared moves fast, pushing as deep as he can with every thrust. JR catches his rhythm easily and adapts to it. They move in perfect connection a few more times before reaching explosion together, screaming out loud words like “God”, “fuck” and “yes”. JR feels the warmth of Jared`s cum deep inside through the condom. This sensation, it`s strangely intimate even though he has felt the warm cum of other men inside him, Justin`s cum even without a condom…

They hug each other as tight as they can. It happens so naturally, as if they have done it a million times before. They stay that way for some time, still connected. Jared`s cock starts to soften inside of JR. He knows he has to move so he pushes JR away, spent cock slipping out. JR wants to take the condom off.  
“Let me.” He asks.  
“What?”

JR stands off the table and reaches to Jared`s cock looking at it. Even softening it still seems so big. JR takes the condom off gently and drops it in a nearby trash can. He looks up at Jared.  
“Wanna take a shower?”

Jared just nods.

“Let`s go!”

Jared follows JR upstairs.


	7. Chapter 7

Jared is amazed how comfortable JR feels naked. JR`s body is beautiful and lean and he clearly feels in harmony with it. And Jared likes it. It turns him on. He has been half naked in front of cameras but he still feels a bit shy about himself even though he has heard so many compliments.

JR enters a big room. It`s very minimalistic, even stoic. He goes straight to the shower and lets Jared in too. The shower is big. There is plenty of space for two people.

They don`t talk, not even a word. Maybe because they don`t have anything to say, maybe they’re afraid to say something that will ruin the moment. Or maybe words are just unnecessary between them. They soap each other, discovering each other’s body, smiling and laughing from time to time. They start with kisses on lips and face and continue with kisses all over each other’s body. It`s a journey - wet and hot, clean from water and soap and dirty from intimate touches and horny thoughts. They end up fucking hard, battling, pushing each other against glass walls of the shower stall. When they reach orgasm together, they`re out of breath and tired. They get to JR`s bed and fall asleep under the purple sheets. They`re not cuddled. They just lay facing each other. When JR wakes up it`s dark outside. He feels Jared’s body behind him; JR`s back pressed against Jared`s chest, Jared`s hand hugging him. When did they get here? And how? Is it really happening? JR hasn`t woken up to anyone hugging him in years (Sophia doesn`t count). JR turns around and faces Jared. He`s awake.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Some time.” Jared smiles.

They just lay looking in each other`s eyes. And then JR kisses him. The kiss is soft and gentle almost as if it were the first they ever shared – would make more sense. Still this one isn`t so innocent - JR`s tongue is in Jared`s mouth and they instinctively move closer to each other. The kiss becomes more passionate and wild, their lips are in pain but they don`t care, they can`t stop until they`re almost gasping for air. They didn’t time it but it was probably an hour long kiss.

Breathing heavily JR says.

“Fuck me!”

Jared is happy to obey. He takes a condom from the drawer of nearby chiffonier and puts it on. He`s hard and ready. Jared gets on top of JR and pushes inside him fast and hard. JR is still loose from the two previous times. It doesn’t take long. They cry out loud together as they explode at the same time, shivering and breathing hard. Jared’s slumped over JR and he`s unable to move. With Jared’s heavy body pressing on him JR hugs Jared`s shoulders and closes his eyes. They fall asleep again.

When Jensen wakes up again, his head is on Jared`s chest and Jared`s hands are around him. It`s so peaceful and so domestic. Jensen looks up at Jared`s face. He`s still asleep, his eyes closed, breath deep and steady. A smile spreads on Jensen`s face and he catches himself wanting to go make breakfast for Jared and surprise him with it after he wakes Jared up with a kiss. He even wonders how Jared likes his coffee.

Fuck.

Panic takes over him instantly. He ran away from it, he changed to be happy, to forget the pain and now he`s so close to falling back in it, to fall for a man and become miserable again. Because relationships don`t work. Breakfast in bed doesn’t work. Love is a fucked up thing and not in the good, life affirming way.

Jensen gets up and almost runs to bathroom. He wants to hide because tears are forming in his eyes and he can`t show this weakness to Jared. He`s scared to death from what he felt just moments ago when he woke up in Jared`s arms. Never. Never again. He promised himself years ago - just fucking and fun, just enjoying life and himself. And men. No bullshit and feelings involved. No pain. And he just broke his rules.

Jensen is sobbing heavily, his whole body trembling. He needs strength. Fast.

He looks into the mirror. His face changes. He wipes his tears away angrily. He sees Mister Smith in the mirror. Mister Smith never cries. Only sissies cry. He`s strong, he`s steel. Mister Smith washes his face, takes a contrast shower (what?) and styles his hair. He puts his glasses on. When he gets out of the bathroom he notices that Jared is awake. Mister Smith doesn`t even look at him. Wrapped in the shower towel he goes to his big built-in closet.

“Hi…” He hears Jared saying.

“You can take a shower. But fast. I have an important meeting in an hour. You must be gone in twenty minutes.” Mister Smith says formally and coldly.

“What?” Jared is shocked. “What is going on, JR?”

“Mister Smith!” He corrects.

“Whatever!” Jared is frustrated. “Why are you like that? So cold. After last night…”

“Last night was good. Sex was good. I even dare to say perfect. But it`s over. You need to go now.”

“I won`t go until you explain. If it was so good last night why are you acting like you hate me, like last night didn`t mean anything to you?”

“Hate you?” Mister Smith laughs a little. “Hate is a strong feeling. I don`t hate you. I don`t feel anything for you. You were a great trick and I have to admit - you really have unbelievable stamina. But as I said – the night is over and I don`t do repeats.”

“Fuck it! Fuck your stupid rules.” Jared is angry. He`s out of bed and approaching Mister Smith naked. He grabs Mister Smith by the shoulders and makes him meet his eyes. “I have news for you, Mister Smith - we fucked three times last night and we had some action in the library months ago. So - don`t tell me you don`t do repeats because that`s a fucking lie.”

“My mistake, but I won’t make it again. I promise.” Mister Smith shakes Jared`s hands off his shoulders. “Now I have to get dressed. As I said - you can take a shower and coffee is in the kitchen…”

“So - that`s it?” Jared seems sad and frustrated.

Mister Smith ignores his question. It`s easier for him that way.

“Cream should be in the fridge if you like your coffee white. Sugar is on the kitchen table. You can eat anything you want from the fridge. And now - excuse me.” He disappears in his closet.

When Mister Smith comes out, Jared is gone, the house is empty, he`s alone. Mister Smith collapses on his bed, on the right side. Jared`s side. And he cries in to the pillow despite the fact that Mister Smith never cries.


	8. Chapter 8

“You did what?” Sophia screams.  
“Lower your voice please, miss Bush!’  
“Oh, stop it, Jensen. Even though you’re cold and tough Mister Smith today we’re still friends and I can still tell you the truth right to your face - you`re fucking stupid! Why the hell did you make him go? You`re fucking crazy about him. I had to spend most days of those six months with pining and miserable Jensen and now you get him in your bed for the night. And he`s not mad, he obviously has forgiven your lies and he doesn`t run away screaming from you even through you are the biggest freak I know. God, he`s ready to put up with your bullshit and - you said it yourself - best sex ever… And you still act like idiot… You push him away. God, I don`t even know what I want to do to you right now. Hard spanking wouldn`t be enough.”  
“Uhh, kinky!”  
“Stop playing and be serious. At least for a moment! Can you do that, Jensen?”  
“Yes, actually I can. You’re my best friend and I love you - but stay the fuck out of this, okay? It`s my life and it`s my choice.”  
“You`re fucking scared!”  
“I don`t do scared!”  
“Yeah, right. You’re scared shitless. You feel again and it makes you wanna run away as fast as you can. And basically you do just that.”  
“Oh, shut up, Sophia. I`m not scared and I`m not running. I just don`t need him, I`m not interested in him. You know how it works. I had him and with it all my interest is gone.”  
“Tell it to someone who`s stupid enough to believe.”  
“Shut up, Sophia Bush!” Mister Smith loses it. ‘Shut up and mind your own business!’  
Mister Smith takes his car keys and walks away.  
“Where the hell are you going?”  
“Out! I have meeting.”  
“What meeting?”  
“Important meeting.”  
“With who?”  
“With a guy I`m going to fuck tonight.”  
And he`s gone.

In the next two weeks Jared sees JR once but he`s out of sight before Jared is able to talk to him. He sees Mister Smith five times and gets to talk to him four times. It`s in the shooting place and it`s about the shooting schedule and other business stuff. Nothing personal. Every time Jared sees him he wants to grab him and shake hard. And after that he wants to push him into the wall and fuck him so hard that he screams and begs for mercy. Jared calls those “sick fantasies” but Chad thinks it`s normal. His only advice is - do it - push him against the wall and take him. Jared doesn`t have courage enough for that, besides he`s angry and disappointed. He thinks that the best thing to do is just to forget about what happened. He even tries tricking again but ends up making one night stands mad by calling them JR or Ross during sex. He feels miserable until his sixth meeting with Mister Smith. It`s a meeting with _Independent Studios_ people about an open-air shooting trip to the beach. Mister Smith is completely ignorant toward Jared. He flirts with Doug Hews – the open-air shooting crew director. After the meeting is over and everyone is gone Jared notices Mister Smith leaving with Doug Hews. Jared can`t stop himself. He follows. Mister Smith and Doug Hews enter his office. Jared hears Hews tell his secretary to not disturb them. Jared stands there like an idiot and imagines what is happening behind closed doors. He hesitates for a moment and then he makes a fast decision. Ignoring the secretary, he enters Hews` office. What he sees is a bit shocking - Hews is on his knees and Mister Smith is standing next to him. He looks like a master and Hews is surely a slave. Hews gets up on his feet as fast as he can.  
“What the…” Hews screams. “Jared?”  
“I need to talk to Mister Smith! Now!” Jared is demanding, ignoring Hews.  
“Jared, it`s impossible now. We have an important meeting.”  
“I don`t care.” Jared says coldly. “I must talk to him now and I won`t leave until I`ve done that.”  
“But…” Hews still is not sure.  
“Mr. Hews, please leave me with Mr. Padalecki for a moment.” Mister Smith says it with a tone that no one will try to object to.  
“Okay.” Hews obeys.  
Hews leaves. Mister Smith and Jared are alone in Hews` office.  
“So, Mr. Padalecki…” Mister Smith starts.  
“Shut up!” Jared approaches fast. He ignores Mister Smith`s resistance as he turns him around and pushes Mister Smith with his face to the wall, opens his pants and pulls them and his underwear down. He opens the zipper of his own pants and takes his hard cock out. He takes a condom from his pocket, puts it on and pushes hard into Mister Smith from behind without any preparation. Mister Smith cries out loud but Jared covers his mouth with his hand. There is no tenderness, no kisses. It`s pure punishment, it`s rape, it’s supposed to hurt - emotionally and physically. Jared is the punisher and Mister Smith is the victim. Or maybe the other way around. Jared`s thrusts are deep and hard, the rhythm is fast. Mister Smith gasps and whimpers; rare screams escape his mouth and Jared just says “shut up” to that. Mister Smith’s resistance dies very soon. He enjoys being taken. Yeah, maybe he`s sick but rape was always one of his secret sex fantasies. And it`s even better than he imagined. Because even though he will never confess, it’s amazing because it`s with him, it`s with Jared.  
Jared`s hands travel to Mister Smith’s dick, he rubs the slit with his thumb making him scream in the mixed sensation of pleasure and pain. Anger makes Jared go for a long time. Mister Smith is begging for more, begging for release but Jared holds hard at the base never letting him come. When Jared comes, shuddering and screaming “oh fuck” he crushes against Mister Smith`s back, breathing hard. Mister Smith is whimpering. It`s over. Jared`s done what he came for. Catching his breath, Jared pulls his softening cock out of Mister Smith, takes the condom off and drops it in a trash can. He leans closer to Mister Smith and whispers in his ear from behind.  
“Remember it. Remember every detail; every scream, every sigh, every thrust of my dick inside you, every smell, every touch. Because you won`t be getting any. Ever. You can fuck every men in the world but you won`t find what you want in them. What you need. I`m done with you. I`m done playing.”   
And with those words he`s gone. Mister Smith crashes to the floor. Just two strokes and he`s coming hard and messy, tears running over his cheeks. But he has to collect himself, has to run and hide and lick his wounds. He pulls his pants back on and leaves without explaining anything to Hews who enters his office soon after Jared is gone.  
Mister Smith takes a shower as soon as he`s home. Not because he`s feeling dirty. Not at all. He takes a shower because he wants to remember how JR was having one with Jared weeks ago. After that he goes to bed. Not because he`s tired and wants to sleep. No, he just wants to pretend Jared is lying next to him. But he`s not. And he can`t sleep, he can`t do anything else. He wants to cry but Mister Smith has cried more than enough for today. He wants to be angry and strong. But he just feels longing. His ass hurts, there are bruises on his hips, but it`s pleasurable pain he`s feeling. He can`t imagine Jared could make him feel any pain other than pleasurable. So, he makes a decision. He starts making lists and graphs.


	9. Chapter 9

“Fuck, I can`t believe it!” Chad is shocked.

“Why are you so surprised? You yourself advised me to do that - take him hard against the wall.”

“Yeah, but… I never thought you would actually do it. I never thought you had it in you.”

“You thought I didn`t have enough guts?”

“Well - yeah. Wow, Jared. Really - it`s something. When I imagine it… Seriously - wow…”

“Stop it, okay. I don`t feel like a hero. More like a jerk…”

“Why? He was acting crazy, challenging you.”

“Maybe, but… It was something… Madness. Fever. I don`t know. I never thought I`d do something like that. I never thought I could be so aggressive, dominant, forceful.”

“But you have been imagining being like that sometimes, haven`t you?”

Long silence.

“Maybe. But there should be a line between fantasies and reality! A line that you shouldn`t cross. I didn`t even let him… Jesus. He never even came.”

 “Seriously? That`s mean, man.” Chad laughs. “But he kind of deserved it. And - well, maybe sometimes you should cross the line between fantasies and reality. Pretend you’re living in a porn movie. Geez, Jared, I still can`t believe…”

Chad is laughing even harder.

“Yeah, great. Happy to entertain you, Chad.” Jared says sarcastically because he doesn`t feel so good about himself after what he`s done. It was almost rape. How does Mister Smith feel now? Does he hate Jared? Does he feel disgust toward him?”

“You know what - I wanna meet him!” Chad surprises Jared.

“What? Are you crazy? Why the hell…”

“Because, Jared. He has somehow managed to make you do things, feel things… Act the way you never have before.”

“Yeah, right. Don`t you even try saying that he`s a positive influence on me.”

“I don`t know whether it’s positive or what but you have to agree - he has an enormous influence on you.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. Better tell me how you’ve been doing.”

“Okay, so…” Chad starts.

“What the fuck…” Jared interrupts.

“What is going on?”

“Someone just parked a motorcycle outside my house…”

“What?”

“Fuck, it`s Honda Shadow 2005!” Jared sounds excited. “Chad, I’ll call you back later.”

Jared ends the conversation and goes to his front door. When he opens it he sees him. He`s clearly not Mister Smith anymore. Maybe JR?

JR gets off the bike and takes off his dark green helmet. He`s wearing old, faded jeans with holes in the knees, a white wife beater and a black, castoff leather jacket. He looks like James Dean. He notices Jared and freezes. And then suddenly JR… blushes. What the fuck?

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jared manages to say.

“I… hmm… I…” He can`t even respond.

“What?” Jared is impatient. Maybe because he`s so surprised by how JR`s acting. So far all his personalities were anything but shy. And now he can`t even look him in the eye and is blushing?

“I have a… proposition?”

“A proposition?” Jared can`t believe it.

“Can we talk? Please…” He seems unsure.

“Okay.” Jared hears himself saying. He just couldn`t say “no” to this guy. Or maybe he didn`t want to. Anyway he turns around and goes into his house.

“Come in!” Jared says.

The guy follows. When he enters the house he doesn`t go in further - he stands at the door and looks around Jared`s living room with blatant interest.

“So, I presume it`s JR for today?” Jared asks in a much calmer tone than before because the guy just seems so innocent and vulnerable today. Is it because of what he did yesterday to Mister Smith?

“Jensen…” He answers still looking around. “You have an amazing house.” He says and looks at Jared, meeting his gaze. Instantly he looks away and blushes even more.

What. The. Fuck.

“Jensen?” Jared wonders. Right, Sophia said that night in the library that there is a fourth character - Jensen.

Jensen just nods.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet.” Jared suddenly wants to play again. Or maybe he never really wanted to stop. “Jared.” He says and extends his hand to Jensen.

Jensen looks at him with an expression full of surprise on his face. There is an awkward silence for a moment. Jared smiles.

“So, will I get a handshake or stay with my hand hanging in the air like an idiot?” Jared asks.

“Oh, sorry…” Jensen blushes even harder.

He gives his hand to Jared but it`s awkward because he’s holding some papers. Jensen offers the other but it`s his left hand so it`s even more awkward. Then he tries to free his right hand by taking the papers with his left but drops them in the process. Jensen bends down on his knees and Jared does the same. Their foreheads meet accidentally and painfully. Jensen feels like a total idiot.

“Sorry, I…”

Jensen looks at Jared and smiles his most attractive, confident, playful smile ever. It`s patented by Mr. Sam Winchester. Oh, Jesus - Jensen is about 99% sure that he`s gonna pass out right here and now.

He stands up rapidly and bumps in to the journal table. It`s a small, unstable piece of furniture. It shakes and the vase falls from it. Jensen tries to catch it. And Jared tries to do the same thing because they end up falling on the floor - Jared on top of Jensen. The vase lands next to them. It doesn`t break, just lands on its side and rolls away on the floor. Jared and Jensen look at it but then turn their faces to each other. Their eyes - hazel into green, their hot breaths into each other`s face, strong chest against strong chest.

“Why… why is it… with you… always so…” Jared tries to form a sentence.

But it`s useless. So Jared stops trying. He just follows his strongest instinct - he crashes his lips on Jensen`s. He`s so excited, so taken away with a moment that he only notices after a while that Jensen’s not kissing him back. Actually he`s not doing anything, not moving at all. Jared stops kissing him and looks at his face. Jensen`s eyes are closed, his breathing is slow.

“Jensen?”

He`s not answering and still not moving.

“Jensen?” Jared shakes him a little.

“Oh, fuck…”

Jensen has fainted!

Jared gets off him, lifts him up bridal style and takes him to the couch. Jensen`s heavy. Jared puts Jensen on the couch. He`s still unconscious. He looks so peaceful, so young and innocent. So beautiful. Jared notices freckles. They are all over Jensen`s nose and cheeks. Why hasn`t he noticed them sooner? Is he really that blind? Jared brushes his finger over Jensen`s cheek. Just the lightest of touches. His skin is so warm and smooth. Some freckles are larger, some smaller. Jared wants to count them, discover all of them, get familiar with them. He`s seriously creepy and he knows it. Suddenly he remembers that he must do something to wake Jensen up. Jared looks around for something. Then remembers and runs to the bathroom were he gets a little bottle of some liquid. He opens it and puts it under Jensen`s nose. Jensen coughs a little, opens his eyes and starts looking around - he`s lying on the couch and Jared is kneeling next to it. Jensen looks confused. He stares at Jared and asks.

“Am I dreaming?”

Jared can`t help it - he laughs.

Jensen blushes hard.

“You passed out.” Jared says after he`s able to talk again.

“I did?” Jensen`s not convinced.

“Yeah. We were lying on the floor, I kissed you and you passed out.”

“Oh…” It`s all he manages to say.

There is silence again. Jared breaks it first.

“So, you said you have a proposition for me. I’d like to hear it.”

“A proposition? Oh, yes – that proposition. Everything is in the papers.”

Jared stands up and goes to the papers. He picks them up and looks through them.

“What is it?”

“A calendar.” Jensen has gotten up from the couch. He’s standing there and not moving closer to Jared.

“I see that it`s a calendar. For the next two months. But what for?”

“Hmmm… for… I don`t know how to…”

“Just say it, Jensen.”

“It`s for… sex…”

“WHAT?”

Jensen instinctively moves further away from Jared.

“Sex…” He repeats quietly.

“I presume - sex between me and you?”

“Mister Smith, JR, Ross and… yes - me…”

“I can`t believe it!” Jared sinks down in the nearest armchair. “When I think that there is nothing… nothing more you could surprise me with … You do something…”

“It`s Mister Smith…”

“What?”

“Mister Smith made it. He likes those things - you know - lists, graphs, calendars. And after what happened yesterday… Well…”

“You made a fucking calendar!” Jared screams.

“Mister Smith…”

“Would you stop hiding behind your characters? God, I`m gonna go crazy with you…”

“Sorry, I…”

Are there really tears in his eyes?

“I… I think I should go… I… It would be better if Mister Smith talks with you about it next time you see him…”

Jensen hurries to the door.

“Wait!” Jared stops him. “Turn around!”

Jensen obeys.

“Come here!”

He comes closer and stands in front of Jared.

“Explain!”

Jensen ducks his head down and looks at his shoes. He`s so miserable that it`s comical.

“Well… We… Me and… Mister Smith and…”

“JR and Ross?”

“Yes. We decided that… We should change our no-repeats policy and… You…”

“Me?”

“Yes, you… You are…”

“I am - what?”

“You could be our repeat fuck…”

“So - I am a repeat fuck for you…”

“For me? NO! Of course not. We`ve never…”

“I mean - repeat fuck for all of you.”

“Well… yes, something like that.”

“Then why the fucking calendar?”

“Because… We don`t like wasting time and… When you are busy or we are… you know… We`re not proposing a relationship or anything. No feelings. Just sex. And if you`re busy… well… They`re not gonna stop tricking…”

“Let me get this straight - we fuck on these dates and hours - just fuck. And other dates and hours you fuck other men?”

“And you fuck other people.”

“Right. How convenient.”

“You`re not accepting…” Jensen sighs heavily. He seems disappointed. “Well, I knew you wouldn`t…”

“I didn’t say I`m declining…”

“You`re accepting?” Jensen is shocked.

“I didn`t say that either…” Jared looks through the calendar. “November 5 to 9 – it’s all empty. Why?”

“Doctor appointment.”

Jared is concerned and worried instantly.

“Are you sick?”

“No. Just regular check-ups.”

“Five days.”

“Tests make me tired and…”

“And?”

“When we don`t feel so good we`re not good at, you know…”

“Sex?”

Jensen nods. Jared tries to hide his smile.

There is silence for a moment. Jared is going through the calendar.

“So, we meet only to fuck.”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“Dates in red - my place. Dates in black are uncertain. Your place, hotel or…

“Or?”

“Other places.”

“What other places?”

Jensen blushes but still answers.

“Hews` office, the library...”

Jared smiles.

“Okay. Then we`ll meet only on these days in the calendar.”

“To fuck – yeah - only these dates. But you should make your schedule when you`re free.

“I`m okay with this one.”

“So – you’re accepting the proposition?”

“I didn`t say that.”

“But you`re considering?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Good. Actually I should go now. You can make your decision tomorrow and can give your answer to Sophia.”

“She knows about this?”

“No. You just say “yes” or “no” and we`ll understand.”

Silence for a moment.

“Okay, then I’ll go now.”

Jensen turns around and moves to the door.

“Wait!” Jared stops him again. “When will I see you?”

“If you accept the proposition it should be Friday at seven pm if I remember correctly.”

“No. I mean - when I will see you - Jensen?”

“Oh… Well. I don`t know. I… I can`t control it…”

And Jensen is gone. Jared sits and listens as Jensen leaves on his motorcycle.


	10. Chapter 10

Ross is nervous. He`s waiting, looking at the clock every five minutes. Or even more often. He called Sophia like a million times already. No answer from Jared...

When Sophia gets home, it`s already eight pm. Ross is waiting for her. He meets Sophia outside the mansion and asks the same question he asked her each time he called.

“Did he say anything to you?”

“Just the lines from the movie...”

“Oh...” Ross is sad.

“What the fuck is going on, Ross? You’ve been acting crazy all day long. What is happening between you two?”

“Nothing I guess…”

“Nothing? Ross, you`re going completely insane and he didn`t say any needless word to me today. It even seemed like he was avoiding me. So I demand you - tell me – what is going on.

“Well…”

“Speak!”

“I proposed him to be my repeat fuck!”

“Oh, how romantic…” Sophia says sarcastically.

“Stop it, Soph. What the fuck do you expect from me? It`s a big step for me to do even that. I`m a mess. You know that. And I can`t… I won`t do relationships again. Jesus…”

“Calm down, honey. And think for a moment - do you want him? Really want him?”

“Yes…”

“But you still can’t give him more than just sex?”

“I’m not asking him for more than I’m ready to give.”

“So - you think it would be a fair trade?”

“Exactly. And I know sex was good for both of us. It`s perfect. And I know he`s a public person after all and I will be discreet you know…”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Then go and get him?”

“What?”

“Go and get him. I heard he was fucking around while we were in Australia. Maybe it really is perfect for you two - no commitment. Pure sex. As long as you`re honest with each other and don`t expect more than you can give.”

“So - I should go to him now?”

Sophia just smiles, nods and gives Ross her car keys.

Ross inhales deeply, takes the keys and drives away.

 

Jared is in the shower when he hears someone ringing the doorbell repeatedly. Impatiently and nervously. Even before Jared gets to the door and opens it he knows who he’ll find there. Who else could it be? Only Jensen can be like that - crazy!

Jared is naked with just a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is wet from the shower with droplets of water falling from it.

Ross bites his lower lip as he sees it. His concentration and insanity is gone for a moment. Geez, it`s a crime to be SO sexy.

Jared inspects Ross with his eyes carefully. Jared’s hoping he’s Jensen today but it doesn`t seem so. His bike is not here. And he`s wearing an orange sweater and flip-flops, with his hair looking like he just got out of bed.

“JR?”

“Ross.” He answers with a slight British accent. “Can I come in?”

Well, okay - Ross is not so bad either. Jared’s mind goes back to the library for a moment. Ross made him come in his briefs. Fuck.

“I presume you are here for an answer?”

Ross is standing in the middle of his living room and looking at the huge bookshelf. Right - he likes books. And he has his own opinion.

“You presume correctly.” Ross answers as he looks back at Jared.

“Sorry, haven`t decided yet.”

“You know - the offer won`t stand forever.”

“If you`re trying to scare me - it`s not working.”

He was the one who started the game. And Jared won`t give all the cards in his hand. Jared can play too. Why not. He just has to remember - what would Sam Winchester do.

“You`re not trying to escape anymore. You`re staying and fighting. Nice.”

Ross surprises Jared.

And fuck - he`s right. Lately Jared`s not hiding so much anymore. He`s not even so scared of crowds anymore. When did that happen?

“Yeah…” He replies just because he has nothing more to say.

“I like it.” Ross continues and moves closer to Jared. “You know - Gatsby never got there. And he died.”

He`s not sure what Ross is talking about. Maybe because he`s approaching Jared and checking him out immodestly. Ross` eyes travel all over Jared`s body and Jared becomes harder with every second. Fuck.

“What?”

With every step Ross makes, Jared backtracks until he feels his back pressing against the front door.

“Great Gatsby…” Ross whispers seductively.

He`s so close to Jared that he can feel Ross` breath on his face. Ross` hands are on his groin. He rubs it.

“You`re hard…” He whispers close to Jared`s ear. Jared shivers.

“Stop it!”

“Why? It`s obvious you like it!” Ross rubs his cock even more dynamically.

Jared stops Ross` hand by putting his own over it.

“I said - stop it! You can`t overmaster me with sex. I`m not that easy.”

“As far as I remember - you did it to Mister Smith. Are you scared of your own tactics?” Ross says so close to Jared`s lips that with every word his lips touch Jared`s. These touches are so soft and tickling, but at the same time electric. Jared can feel a pleasurable shiver go through his body. God, he`s the master of seduction!

“I told you - I haven`t decided yet.” Jared is determined to make Ross play by his rules.

“Oh, what the hell, Jared?” Ross seems frustrated. “It`s not like I`m proposing marriage and love till death do us apart! All I`m proposing is fucking! You know, Jay, we are allowed to have fun once in a while. This,” Ross points to himself, “is fun!”

“Stop quoting Dean Winchester! It pisses me off!”

“It`s not my fault that he is smarter and more interesting then you`ll ever be!”

“Turns out you`re one of those crazy fans. You want Dean Winchester!”

Now they`re shouting at each other.

“Jesus, Dean is a fictional character. What does it even matter if I liked him? And I`m not saying I do. I`m actually on team Sam as you should know.”

It was meant as a joke. Ross was trying to lighten the mood, but it falls flat. Jared looks even angrier if anything.

“Tell me – why did you go after me? Because of “Supernatural”? Because I was Sam Winchester?”

Jared is demanding an answer. It`s his biggest fear – to be wanted only because of Sam Winchester - his most popular role.

“No!” Ross screams back.”You wanna know why I was after you? Okay – I’ll tell you. The first day we met - Mister Smith was after you because you`re fucking handsome and because he could play the game called “overpower me or I will overpower you” with you! And he fucking lost it in case you didn`t notice! Fuck… And JR wasn`t after you. He promised his best friend Soph he wouldn`t make a move on you. The bumping in the bathroom - it was accidental. And you were so fucking sweet and caring. He couldn’t stop himself. That`s why he was after you. And in the library. You came in when I was there. I wasn`t looking for anything but you just came and we talked and… Fuck. I was after you because you are so smart, so… I don`t know - you just… You are so real, so sincere, so natural… And sometimes so shy, and uncomfortable in your own skin even though you are so gorgeous. You can`t imagine what a turn-on it was for me. I felt like you could understand. The only one who could maybe understand me someday … That`s why I was after you then. And it’s why I’m after you now.”

There is silence for a moment. Jared needs some time to comprehend everything he just heard.

“Is that all?” Jared asks after some time.

“What?”

“Were those all the reasons why you`re after me?”

“Well - there is one more.”

“What?”

“You have a big dick and you know how to use it!”

Jared chokes on his own saliva. Right. Ross is faithful to himself.

“Can I kiss you now?” Ross finally asks.

Jared just nods.

And Ross kisses him. Strong and passionate. And Jared is kissing back. Because he wants to. Because even if it`s just a game - Jared wants to play it. Because Ross is the best kisser Jared knows. And… well - just because.

Jared interrupts their kiss.

“One more question?”

‘What?” Ross seems frustrated.

“Why is Jensen after me?”

“You really wanna talk now?” Ross` frustration grows bigger.

“Just answer.”

“What makes you think he was ever after you? You have met him once and nothing happened.”

“What about the kiss?”

“You kissed him. And if I remember correctly - he passed out.”

“Right. But - you won`t try to deny there was something between us. He was… shy… And a bit unconfident if I`m allowed to say that.”

“Oh, don`t worry - he`s always like that. And… You can say you have a great impact on him…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“How`s that?”

“You`d better ask him next time you see him…”

Ross` hand travels under Jared`s towel. When Ross finds what he’s looking for he takes it in his hand and squeezes it hard. The towel falls on the floor.

“Fuck…” Jared cries out.

After all Ross can still overpower him with sex.

Ross licks Jared`s jaw line and neck. He likes to use his tongue a lot. He proves it when he drops on his knees and takes Jared`s fully hard cock in his mouth. Jared moans loudly. His dick stays in Ross’ mouth only for a moment. Ross plays with it, putting small kisses and licks all over. He hits the top of it gently with his tongue. Jared screams. It`s the most sensitive spot on him. He`s leaking pre-come. Ross likes the taste of it. He lubes Jared`s dick with his pre-come and his own saliva and strokes it forcing the pace. Jared is so close to coming when Ross stops. Jared wants to scream in discontent. But before he`s able to do that Ross takes his dick in his mouth again. No trace of playing anymore. Ross takes his entire shaft in. Jared cries out in pleasure. Ross deep-throats him, choking a bit. Jared comes deep into Ross’ mouth and he swallows all his come. After that Ross stands up and kisses Jared, pushing his tongue inside Jared`s mouth. Ross tastes like him. And Jared loves it. Ross interrupts the kiss.

“Hey, remember those 5 unmarked days in the calendar?”

“Doctor’s appointment?”

“Yeah. Put day two, day four and day five in schedule. Even if I`ll be too tired for fucking I can still blow you.”

Jared starts laughing out loud and can`t stop for a good five minutes. After that they fuck. Twice. And today is not even marked in their Fucking Calendar.


	11. Chapter 11

_After 2 months_

  
If you were to ask Jared Padalecki what he did during the last two months he would probably say - a lot of great fucking and almost no talking.   
There are problems with „Between my legs”. Schedules are changing almost every day.  There were problems with the director and they still haven’t found a new one. It’s shitty. But on the other hand it leaves a lot of free time for Jared and he spends it with Mister Smith, JR and Ross. Not Jensen. When Jared asked once JR answered that Jensen doesn’t show up often. But Jensen was present a few times during those two months - when he was on a business trip to New York, when Jared was gone for five days for open-air shooting, when he spent all day in the recording studio with Sophia (that day wasn’t marked in the Fucking Calendar). Jared has his suspicions that Jensen is avoiding him. Right - isn’t that sick talking about one man like four different people? But then again - it’s Jensen Ross Smith. Nothing is usual or common with him. Nothing is what you expect it to be.  
It’s the week before Christmas. Chad is coming over with his girlfriend Kitty. Jared decided not to go home to San Antonio. His brother Jeff would probably come with his family and it would be too crowded for Jared. Besides that, he won’t be able to spend more than three days there because of filming. And… Jensen Ross Smith won’t be there.  
He has stated that it’s just sex between them and mostly - it is just sex. Amazing sex, but just sex. Jared is perfectly aware that on the days not marked in their Fucking Calendar

Jensen (or Ross or JR or Mister Smith) is tricking. Strangely Jared isn’t jealous. He somehow feels that Jensen’s doing that only because of his strong beliefs and principles. It’s a part of him. And Jared feels special by just being his regular fuck. He convinced himself that he doesn’t want anything more just because Jensen isn’t ready to give him anything more. But today that’s going to change.  
Jared is somewhere in the filming pavilion when he hears someone speaking loudly, arguing. When he moves closer he sees JR. Now he is fluent in reading what character Jensen Ross Smith is wearing. JR’s arguing with producer Phil Newman and Executive producer John Barlow.  
“Over my dead body. I require a meeting. We should all discuss it.”  
“You can’t require anything, Mister Smith. You’re not a part of this project. _Independent Studios_ are in no business relations with you.” Phil Newman interrupts him.  
“But my client Miss Bush is. And I have a personal interest in some other people working on this project.” JR doesn’t give up.  
Jared listens carefully – “…personal interest in some other people working on this project”. Is he talking about Jared?  
“Mister Smith, please lower your voice.” John Barlow says it almost like a threat. But JR doesn’t seem to be scared at all.  
“I demand a meeting. Now. Or I will talk with the working staff and convince them that a strike is the only way to solve this problem. And I’m sure Sophia and Jared will be on our side.”  
Phil Newman grabs JR`s arm. He looks tall and built, a giant of a man, and he looks mad.  
“Don’t you dare bitch…”  
And at this moment Jared interferes.   
“What is going on here?”  
Phil Newman lets go of JR`s arm.  
“Oh, Jared. Don’t worry - everything is fine. We’re just having a small discussion about some production stuff with Mister Smith.”  
Jared totally ignores Phil Newman. He’s looking at JR.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Yeah.” He nods. “But I won’t be if we don’t have a meeting right now.”  
“Why? What is happening…”  
“Noth…” John Barlow tries to interfere but Jared won’t let him.  
“I’m asking Mister Smith! JR - what’s going on?”  
“They want us to work on Christmas!”  
“What?”  
“No, Mister Smith is wrong.” John Barlow intervenes. “Of course Miss Bush and you won’t have to work on Christmas.”  
“Just on December 26th. It’s still a holiday as far as I remember.” JR interrupts him. “And all the working staff – they’re going to have to work on Christmas because those two gentlemen say that we are behind the shooting schedule. As if it’s our fault that they still haven’t found a new director.”

“Is it true?”  
“Well, Jared…” Phil tries to rectify his error.  
It’s enough for Jared.  
“I agree with Mister Smith. We need to discuss it.”  
“Jared but…”  
“Oh, Phil, shut up!” JR loses it. “Just accept that you lost. Not that you had any chance of winning… Because I won’t shut up just because you want me to! I’m organizing a meeting in an hour in the cast room. I’ll invite members of the staff. Miss Bush will be there too. And…” JR looks at Jared. “I hope you`ll come too, Jared.”  
“I’ll be there.” He promises.  
“Good. Then see you in an hour gentlemen.”

As JR has promised, there is a meeting in the cast room in an hour. It`s crowded - many people from the production group are there. JR is like their leader. Jared knew that JR always does everything in Sophia`s best interest. But he`s surprised to see that he`s taking care of other people who work on this project too. He knows all of them personally, knows their names. But the most shocking thing for Jared is - JR protects his interests too.

“As I just said - Miss Bush has cancelled many recording studio sessions because of the continuously changing filming schedule. Yes, you might think that Miss Bush, as a newbie to film industry, would agree on making many sacrifices. And it`s partly true because Miss Bush is devoted to this project. It means a lot to her and she has been very patient and loyal with everything because it`s her first experience and she`s very grateful for the opportunity _Independent Studios_ is giving her. But she`s not an idiot after all. And I, as her personal assistant, will do everything in my power to make this project work. Because I care not just about Miss Bush`s interests but about this whole project and all the people working on it.”

“We understand that you care, Mister Smith, but you don`t know the film industry well enough to understand. Yes - we`re having some difficulties, but it`s not that big. And we`re here - in Hollywood, the most professional film making industry, the place where we never stop making movies.”

“Never stop? Oh, please, Mr. Barlow. You don’t want to stop making the movie on Christmas but during the last two months you have cancelled more shooting hours than anyone can remember. You know - you’re not exclusive, you don’t own everyone. People who work on this project have other projects too. They plan their time. They’re all professionals and they’re all busy.”

“It’s normal in the film industry to change the schedules, Mister Smith.” Phil Newman interrupts.

“We have a formally established, professional actor here - Mr. Jared Padalecki is the star. Yes, he was out of film industry for some time due to his accident that I’m sure we all know about. But he’s back and millions of fans are waiting for this movie just because he’s in it. When Mr. Padalecki was working on the legendary cult TV show “Supernatural” for six years he managed to make four full length movies, two short films and one documentary. You will ask - how did he have so much time when shooting “Supernatural” was very busy and intensive? Because of the strict and reasonable schedules. But now when Mr. Padalecki is back in his active career and receives an average number of twenty scripts a week he can’t consider even one because he’s not sure when he’ll be finished filming this movie. He has already declined two offers from Broadway because of your ever changing shooting schedules and he can’t be sure when he will be able to attend dry-runs. As a professional he doesn’t want to fail people. Unlike _Independent Studios_ \- he likes to keep his promises. I’m saying all of this to remind you that you have a star here, and you’re lucky that Mr. Padalecki is a patient star. But if we don’t get to a reasonable point we’ll take more strict measures than just a meeting.”

How the fuck does he know about Broadway? Actually the changing filming schedules were just an excuse to decline offers. Jared doesn’t feel confident enough to play on the stage again. And scripts - it’s more like two scripts per week, but… Fuck. It feels so good to hear JR defending his interests. Jared has never felt like a movie star, not a real Hollywood star. But JR tells it with such passion and belief that Jared is ready to be convinced.

After JR threatens to sue _Independent Studios_ and the whole crew is supporting him with ovations, the meeting is over. JR leaves with his friends from the crew. Jared is shocked. He walks to Sophia.

“Does he… I mean - I never knew he was like that…”

“ _Viva la revolucion_!” Sophia smiles. “Yeah, he’s honest and he likes everything to be in order.”

“But… I mean - it’s not his problem. He cares about you and your interests. But why care for the others?”

“You mean - why you?”

“Well… yeah.”

Sophia laughs a little.

“Why are you so shocked to find out that he cares about you?”

“Because… he never shows it. Actually he does everything to show me that he doesn’t, that he’s not interested in anything about me. Just sex.”

“He knows your shooting schedule better than mine. He knows your birthday. He knows a lot of stuff about you. Trust me. But he’ll never admit it. He’ll just…”

“What?”

“Don’t you understand - he’s scared. He feels something for you and he’s scared of it. He’s scared to feel…”

And Sophia leaves. She feels like she has said too much. If JR ever found out he would be mad.

But Jared analyzes all he has heard and seen today, he remembers other things from the past two months. Yes, there was a lot of fucking and almost no talking. But there was something more. There were small moments like making eye-contact, smiles, laughs, morning coffee… Jared has never thought about this before but - how did Jensen know how he likes his morning coffee? He never asked. He just started making it for Jared every time they spent all night at his place or at Jensen’s. Jared can’t remember the last time he was there to discuss the schedule. Because Mister Smith or JR was taking care of it for him. When there were open-air shootings he found his trailer decorated in dark blue - just like his bedroom. He had his favorite shaving crème there and toothpaste and… That’s right - Ross took care of all that. He didn’t notice earlier but lately Jensen Ross Smith has been as much his personal assistant as Sophia’s. With one big difference - Jensen is having sex with him almost every day (they still have the Fucking Calendar but they violate the schedule regularly). And suddenly Jared knows. He knows that there is something between them, something more than just great sex. Much more. He’s thirty. He was never interested in marrying and having kids. He never really believed in marriage and love “till death do us part”. And now is the first time he’s ready to consider such a possibility - that maybe he could get married. To a guy. Maybe even adopt some kids. At least get a dog. Or better – two dogs… The possibility of waking up in bed (or on the floor, a couch, a pool table or… well wherever they fell asleep the night before) with Mister Smith, Ross, JR or hopefully Jensen every morning doesn’t seem so bad at all. But there is one big problem - he has to convince Jensen Ross Smith that this is a good idea…

Later that night JR rings the doorbell at Jared’s front door. When he opens it JR immediately jumps on him and starts kissing him. Jared knows he’s turned on and horny after today that was full of impressions and fights that JR won. He instinctively kisses JR back because after all - he is the best kisser Jared has ever known. Soon they are on the floor, battling for the top position. JR reaches for Jared jeans` zipper when Jared unexpectedly stops him.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“Can we talk?”

“Now?” JR`s clearly frustrated.

“Can we have a dinner before we…”

“Fuck?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not hungry, at least not for food.”

JR goes back to kissing him. Jared responds for a moment but then interrupts it again.

“What now?” JR is displeased.

“Maybe… we could have at least a drink and… talk…”

“You really wanna talk now?” JR seems surprised.

“Well… yeah…”

“Geez, Jared, it’s 1 am, I’m tired and horny as hell…”

“Yeah I know but…”

“What?”

“Maybe let’s not do that today…”

“You don’t wanna fuck me? What is going on? Is something wrong?”

JR really seems worried and that is just more proof supporting Jared’s theory that there is much more between them then just sex.

“No, I’m alright. I just wanna talk with you.”

“About what?”

“About you.”

JR`s face changes in one moment from worry to annoyance.

“You know everything you need to know about me.”

“And how do you know that? Because you are the one who decides how much I need to know.”

“What the fuck, Jared. Just tell me - you got bored and don`t wanna fuck me anymore. That’s okay. I won’t…”

“NO! Jesus, JR… The sex is amazing but that’s not everything…”

“Then what? What is wrong?”

“Us. You… I don’t know.”

“Just say it!”

“You know so much about me but I don’t know anything about you.”

“I don’t know much about you. But it’s just logical that I know more about you because you are an actor, you are a public person. And as I said - you know everything you need to know about me. Is that all?”

“How did you know about Broadway?”

“What?”

“And movie scripts?”

“I’m observant. And I know there are not more than two per week. I just had to impress them.”

“Here! You just said it - you even know the exact number of scripts I receive every week. And you know a lot of other stuff. Why?”

“As I said - I’m observant. What the fuck…”

“No - why do you know? You know how I like things to be - like coffee and the color of my sheets, and my brand of shaving crème and… All that stuff about me. You know and remember and…”

“I work as a personal assistant. I guess it’s a professional illness to remember and know such things. But if it bothers you so much I won’t make coffee for you anymore. Can we fuck now?”

“NO! No… I want…”

“What? Jesus, what now?”

“I wanna date.”

“You want WHAT?”

“I wanna take you to a restaurant… or movies… or…”

JR interrupts Jared by laughing. He can’t stop for a good two minutes and it pisses Jared off.

“Would you please stop it!”

“I can’t. God, you’re so funny. Date? It’s so high school. Jared - we fuck. We’re good at that. No drama with - what movie we’re gonna watch, what and where we’re gonna eat, what to wear and if you should get the flowers. It’s all bullshit you know. People do all that shit to get to fucking. But we’re perfect. We step over all that bullshit and we actually fuck. And if it’s even half as good for you as it is for me then it’s more than anyone could ever dream of.”

“Doesn’t it ever occur to you that we could be perfect in other ways not only sex? Jesus, JR.” Jared wants to make him understand his point. “I think that there is something here between us. Something important, something special, something more than just sex. Don’t you wanna try it out?”

“No. I just wanna fuck. And you’re kidding yourself if you think that it’s anything more than just sex between us. I trick. You are perfectly aware of it. And if I’m not with some other guy at this moment it’s not because I’m enjoying your company but because you’re a better lay than most of the others I’ve fucked. That’s all.”

Wow, that was harsh. But Jared is not ready to give up. He remembers very well those words Sophia told him earlier that day: _“He’s scared to feel”…_

“Let’s make a bet?”

“What bet?”

“We don’t fuck for a week. We meet according to the Fucking Calendar and just spend that time together. Talking, watching movies, having dinner… Whatever.”

“Oh, give me a break. As if you can spend time with me without fucking me.”

“Try me!”

“Jared, stop kidding yourself - you wanna fuck me. Just fuck me. There is nothing else between us, we don’t share interests, we don’t…”

“Are you scared to try?”

“What? Of course I’m not scared. I know I’m right.”

“Then let’s make a bet. One week without fucking.”

“But I can try to seduce you?”

“Yes. And I will try to prove that we can enjoy each other’s company without fucking.”

“What if I win, if you break and fuck me before the week has passed?”

“Then you have proven your point and I will never bring up this subject again. But if I win we start dating.”

“Dating?”

“Yes. We’ll be together. Like a couple, not just fuck buddies.”

JR considers it just for a moment and then extends his hand to Jared.

“Okay, we have a deal.”

“Deal.” Jared takes JR`s hand and shakes it.


	12. Chapter 12

The alarm clock turns on the radio at exactly 6 am.  
“Good morning, California. It’s 6 am, December eighteenth. The usually sunny California weather waits for you outside so get up and enjoy the day. And remember – there are only seven days till Christmas…”  
Jared turns off the radio and gets up, imitating the voice of the broadcaster he says: “Good morning, California. It’s 6 am and Jared Padalecki has morning wood like some teenager. He hasn’t had sex in 24 hours and wants to kill somebody already. It’s December eighteenth today and it will be a fucking hot day - Mister Jensen Ross Smith will take care of it. And remember – there are seven days till Jared Padalecki can fuck again…”  
Jared goes straight to the shower and turns on the cold stream. Why the hell did he make this stupid bet? Before Jared met Jensen Ross Smith, he could go for months without sex. It seemed normal. It was as if he hadn’t had a real taste of sex then. But now it seems almost impossible because Jensen will be right in front of him every day doing his best to make Jared lose it. JR already did his best after they made the bet last night.

He immediately jumped Jared and started kissing him the dirtiest way he could. It took all the strength Jared had to stop JR. He proposed a movie night. Jared turned on the TV and there was some old movie with Rock Hudson. When they made their one-week-no-fucking bet, it was about 1:30 am. JR gave up trying to seduce Jared and went home at 3:30 am. It was the two hardest hours of Jared’s life. Literally. While he tried watching the movie, JR tried to make him look at him. He took the bottle of water from the fridge and made the same water trick as Mister Smith had when Jared met him for the first time. Even though JR`s performance wasn’t as impressive as Mister Smith’s had been it still made Jared crazy. JR almost performs a striptease but Jared did his best to look at the TV screen, not anywhere else. Then JR covered the TV screen with his body. JR was in just his red boxer-briefs and Jared thought he was going to explode in his own underwear just like he did that one time with Ross in the library. Jared’s still not sure how he stopped his aching body from it. He calmly said:  
“So, you don’t wanna watch TV? Okay - we can go on an early morning run!”  
It made JR angry. He knew perfectly well that Jared was fit and went on morning runs for 5 miles at least three times a week. JR couldn’t take more than one mile.   
“Okay” JR said angrily. “I’d better go. Bars in Hollywood are open 24/7. It would be easier to find someone else than to waste my time with you.”  
Those were the last words JR said, before he left.  
Jared was about 80 percent sure that JR just threatened him with his words - he didn’t go to a bar to get some trick. But on the other hand - you can never be sure with JR.  
After JR took off, Jared had a cold shower and went to bed. He tried to sleep for those two hours but he couldn’t and he got up to go on the shooting location early.

Jared is in the shower and plans to take care of his morning hard-on when someone’s ringing the doorbell. Fuck. Jared wraps a towel around his waist and goes to open the door. Ross is standing there. What a freaky-fucking surprise! He’s wearing an Adidas tank top and very short shorts exposing his muscular, slightly bowed legs; feet in sneakers, holding a tennis racket in his hand. Dressed all in white, Wimbledon style.   
“Hi, dear. Are you ready for a match?”  
“Are you serious?”  
Ross looks down at himself as if trying to figure something out, then looks back at Jared.   
“Mate, I’m wearing a tennis suit and have a racket in my hand! Doesn’t that look serious enough?”  
“But you never…”  
“Never play tennis? Right. At least not with you. But it was you who wanted to know me better so…”  
“I’ll be ready in five.”  
Jared runs upstairs to get ready. Ross watches Jared’s retreating form and bites his lower lip absent-mindedly.   
“You seem ready enough for me.”  
Ten minutes later, with Jared wearing old grey shorts and a black sweatshirt, Ross parks his Jeep at the Mulholland Tennis Club. Jared hasn’t played tennis in years. He stays fit by morning runs and weight lifting. He used to play football in college but it was a long time ago. Jared doesn’t even have any tennis rackets at home but Ross has plenty of them in his car.   
Ross guides him to the hard court. He is the first one to serve. Ross knows how to do it, but still the serve is not so strong. The only reason why Jared doesn’t return it is - he notices something. Ross is definitely hard, and he’s gone commando.

“Oh my God…” Jared whispers and looks around. All the other courts around them are occupied. There are so many people around and Ross is wearing his hard-on shamelessly.

Before Jared can say anything, Ross serves again and Jared is caught off guard. He doesn’t notice the ball until it’s too late and it hits him right in the middle of the forehead. Jared almost falls from the sudden hit.   
“Fuck…”  
“Oh my God, Jared, are you okay?”  
Ross runs, jumps over the net with one firm move and is standing near Jared.   
“Pardon me, Jared. I didn’t notice you weren’t ready. It’s my fault.”  
“You’re out of your fucking mind!”   
“What?”  
“You are tenting your shorts. And if I may say – those are the shortest shorts in the fucking world.”  
“Oh.” Ross whispers with firm smirk rising on his lips. “Am I?”  
He looks down at himself, as if he’s seriously checking.   
“Yeah, you’re right – I am. Sometimes I just can’t control my little friend in the mornings.”  
“You’re fucking crazy, you know that? There are people around here, children!” Jared screams.   
“Would you please lower your voice? People are looking. And if you keep screaming someone will surely notice it sooner or later.”  
“If you don’t want them to notice then just… Jesus. How do you manage to hold it up so steady for so long… here…” Jared can’t help staring at Ross’s crotch. “Fuck”.

 Ross licks his lips.

“I thought it was too public for you to do it here but if you really want…” Ross puts his thumbs under the waistband of his shorts and pulls it.

“ROSS!”

“All right, all right, don’t scream. You’re scaring the children. And all of this is your fault, dear. You have left me so sexually frustrated. Jesus, I think I’m going to explode. You know they have private showers here…”  
“Oh, no! No way, Ross, I’m not that easy. You wanna play tennis with your hard-on? Okay, let’s do it!”  
“Are you sure?” Ross seems frustrated.   
“Of course I’m sure. It would be a pleasure to play tennis with you.”  
And they play. Ross’s hard-on seems permanently stuck and Jared is wearing a hard-on of his own. Good thing his shorts are flat. Ross doesn’t seem to worry at all about his “little problem”. He hits the balls hard and he’s winning with a big score. Jared is not even trying, he’s too distracted. The main goal for him is to keep his dick in his pants and not to kick the ball. They’ve been playing for about thirty minutes when Ross falls after trying to catch Jared’s serve.   
“Ohhhhh…” He shouts.   
“Are you okay?” Now Jared is worried. He runs to him and kneels down.   
“My ankle - it hurts.”  
“Let me check it.”  
Jared takes Ross’s right leg in his hands and gently inspects the ankle.   
“Oh, shit…” Ross is whispering.  
“Can you move it?”  
“I… I’ll try… Shit… I can`t…” He’s like an innocent child.   
“I guess you twisted your ankle. I know it hurts badly but it will be alright. We need to get some ice and a doctor.”  
Jared is so sweet and caring that Ross almost hates himself for being such an asshole and lying.   
“I can’t get up.”  
“I’ll help you.” Jared tries to get Ross up but he pulls Jared down with all his strength and Jared falls on the ground. Immediately Ross is on him and his lips are on Jared’s. He rubs his body against Jared’s body, hard cocks meeting. They both gasp. Jared can’t help it - he instinctively cups Ross` butt and rubs their groins even harder, faster. They both moan in unison. They have forgotten that they’re in a public place. They’re not alone.  
Someone coughs loudly.  
“Excuse me, Mister Smith! Mister Smith!?!”  
Ross interrupts the kiss and looks up at the man who’s standing at the entrance to the court.   
“Mister Smith, your time is up.”   
Ross looks back at Jared, disappointment clear on his face.   
“Shit…” He says and gets up, shameless about his persistent hard-on. Jared’s full hard-on is now clearly noticeable despite the flatness of his shorts. He gets up and goes straight to the showers. Ross tries to follow but Jared stops him.   
“I’m going to shower. Alone!”  
Fuck. Ross almost got him.

  
Throughout the day Jared receives five seducing voice messages and three video messages to his cell phone. He deletes the third video without even watching it. Fuck, Ross is really crazy. And wearing a permanent hard-on becomes a habit for Jared Padalecki. Thank God, Ross is not at the location today - he’s busy in the recording studio with Sophia. It’s only day one and Jared already wants to shoot himself.   
It’s eight pm when Jared gets home at last. Senora Rosa, Jared’s housekeeper, is there. She comes three times a week to clean the house and bring groceries.   
“Senor Jared, I made salad and tortillas.”   
“Great. Thanks senora Rosa. I’m gonna take a shower.”  
Jared needs to jerk off. Fast.  
Jared steps into the shower stall and turns the water on. A shower at last, then a light supper and sleep. Jared is tired. The “Between My Legs” shooting process is intense. Thanks to JR`s actions, they won’t have to work on Christmas but that means they have to work a lot in the meantime. And sexual strain doesn’t help at all. Good thing tonight is not marked in The Fucking Calendar. Ross won’t be here trying to seduce him so - thank God - he’ll get a good night’s sleep.  
Suddenly Jared feels someone’s hand on his shoulder. He jumps up from shock and turns around to face them. It’s Ross.   
“Oh, don’t be scared, gorgeous - it’s not that kind of shower scene…”


	13. Chapter 13

“Ross…” Jared is shocked.  
“Oh, shut up you fool and kiss me!” Ross is at his best. He puts his arms around Jared’s neck and tries to pull his head low enough to be able to reach his lips.  
“What? No, no…” Jared frees himself from Ross and moves away. Thank God, his shower stall is quite big.   
“Jared, please - let’s stop playing these games. I want you inside me. Now.” Ross looks down at his own big erection and then at Jared’s hardening cock. “And I know you are desperate to be inside me.” He whispers seductively. “So, the main point here is - we both want the same thing. Let’s stop complicating things.”  
Ross` hand lands on Jared’s cock. Jared closes his eyes for a second, letting himself enjoy this moment, this feeling before he’s ready to fight it. He sighs hard and takes Ross` hand off his cock.   
“It’s not fair, Ross.” He’s serious.   
“What?”   
“This, you surprising me in the shower.”  
“You don’t like it” He seems frustrated. “You don’t want me.”   
What a fucking drama queen.   
“Stop it. Just stop. I know you’re a good actor. Better than me. You know perfectly well that I want you and you can see how much I do. But I want more than just your body. That is what I want to prove here but you are determined to make me fail. Why, Ross? Why are you so scared of the possibility that I might succeed?”  
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”  
“No, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Today is not marked in the Fucking Calendar but you’re here. And you knew that senora Rosa would be here tonight? You knew you would catch me off guard, relaxed, unprepared for this attack. You’re willing to do anything, aren’t you?”  
“You know me - I’m an all-or-nothing guy! I’m crazy, I’m a mess. I constantly lose myself in me, in my characters. Everything is so complicated. And I just… I just can’t understand…”  
“What?”

“You!”  
“Me?”  
“Yes - you! How can you put up with all my bullshit, with different personalities every day? Jesus, you must be crazy…”  
Jared smiles, he just got something he was asking for. They’re naked in a shower, they’re both horny, and they’re talking.   
“Well…” Jared says. “Then I guess we deserve each other.”  
He smiles at Ross. Jared’s face is serious, even sad but his smile cheers Ross up and he smiles back. And Jared notices this smile. He saw it just once when a Honda Shadow 2005 was parked on his backyard.  
“Will you hold me?” Ross suddenly asks. “Just for a moment?”  
Jared’s not sure. He’s afraid Ross will start his games again. Ross sees suspicion in Jared’s eyes.  
“I promise to behave.”  
“Well, I…”   
“Why are you always so considerate?” Ross asks and hugs him before Jared can make any reaction.   
“I’m not, but when it comes to you…” Jared hugs Ross back.  
Ross keeps his promise. He’s so close, their hot, naked bodies pressed together, arms around each other, Ross’s head on Jared shoulder, Jared’s face in Ross’s wet hair. But that’s all. Ross is not pushing it, he’s not trying anything. He just lets Jared hold him and holds Jared back. Oh, fuck, if someone made them into stone right now Ross wouldn’t be mad at all. It would be a pleasure to be in Jared’s arms for eternity. Oh, fuck. He’s losing it. Again. He must run. Now. Run and never look back. Hide from Jared just like he ran and hid himself from his past and all the people in it. But he can’t. Because the crazy truth is - he doesn’t want to. He wants to be right where he is now - in Jared’s arms and the rest of the world can crash and burn. His past, all his pain and insecurities can go and fuck themselves. At least for tonight…  
“This feels amazing.” Ross whispers.   
“Yeah.” Is all that Jared says. His breath in Ross’s ear makes pleasurable shivers go through his whole body.  
“But I’m still horny.”  Ross laughs.   
“Oh, no, no and no!” Jared lets him go.  
Ross laughs.   
“You know - I have an idea of how to help us with that without you losing the bet.”  
“I’m already scared of your idea but I’m listening.”  
Ross laughs a little again.   
“Don’t worry - you’ll like it. Maybe even love it.”  
“Right. And your idea is…?”  
“Jerk yourself off!”  
“WHAT?”  
“Oh, don’t give me that Ross-you’re-out-of-your-fucking-mind look! I know you intended to jerk yourself off when I interrupted you. So - do it now! And I’ll do the same. It’s a classic.”  
“No! No – I won’t in front of you!”  
“Jesus, Jared - I have blown you like at least a hundred times already!”  
“Actually just forty eight times and one time you jerked me off. It was the first time in the library.”  
Ross seems stunned.   
“You were counting?”  
“I…”  
“Whatever. The point is - I know your cock, I have seen it from all angles, I have touched it, tasted it and I know how it works in my hands. I wanna see how it works in yours.”  
“You’re fucking crazy.”  
“I think that’s been formally established already. Just get over yourself and do it.”  
“So you can catch me off guard and make me lose?”  
“No. I promise. I won’t touch you. I’ll just watch. Let’s play a game. We’re not allowed to touch each other, just watch.”  
“You mean you will too…?”  
“Jerk-off! It’s called jerking-off, Jared. For Pete’s sake, sometimes you’re like a boy from a Sunday church choir or something. Yes, of course I will be jerking myself off. I haven’t had sex since we made that stupid bet and I’ve been fucking horny all day long. You seriously think I could just stand there watching you jerking yourself off and not react to it? You’re strange, Jared.”  
Jared smiles.   
“Sounds like a plan.” He says. “And for the record - I used to sing in a Sunday church choir…”  
Ross presses his back against the stall wall and gazes at Jared’s body. His eyes stop at Jared’s cock. All the fun and easiness is gone, and the atmosphere thickens.   
“Take it in your hand!” Ross orders.  
All Jared can do is obey. He takes his dick with his right hand and rubs it a bit. It’s already hard - no need for any more inspiration.   
“How does it feel?” Ross asks.   
“It’s… aching… needing…”  
“Is it leaking?”  
Jared touches the tip with his thumb and his body shivers, a deep sigh escapes his mouth.   
“Yeah.”  
“Taste it. Your pre-come…”  
Jared hesitates just for a moment but then he rubs the tip with his thumb a bit and takes the thumb to his mouth. His lips open a bit and the thumb goes in.   
“Oh, God…” Ross cries out. “You are… God…”  
Ross starts stroking himself.  
Jared’s eyes become two shades darker at that exact moment. He takes his thumb out of his mouth and grabs his dick firmly in his hands. He strokes it slowly.   
“Are you close?” He asks. His voice, husky and low, echoes through the shower stall.   
“Leaking…” Ross whispers and his other hand travels behind him, to the cleft of his ass, finding the entrance. One finger not pushing in, just playing  
Jared keeps stroking himself, forcing the pace with every next stroke.  
“Push it in!” He demands.  
And it’s Ross’ turn to obey. He pushes one finger in and shivers, moaning.   
“I wanna see you taste yourself while you fuck yourself on your fingers.” Jared whispers.

“How many fingers can I have?” Ross is breathless.

“Two for now.”  
Ross pushes another finger in himself immediately, takes the other hand from his dick to his mouth. He looks straight into Jared’s eyes when he licks his fingers, glistening with pre-come and spit.   
Jared bites his lips and sighs deeply.   
“You’re beautiful.” He whispers.   
“Don’t stop! Stroke yourself.” Ross says.

Ross’ hand goes back to his own cock and he jerks it harder, faster.

“Put the third in.” Jared orders.

“Oh, God…” Ross cries out as he obeys.  
They moan in duet, looking at each other and playing with their own bodies. It doesn’t take long till they reach their orgasms together. Some of their cum landing on each other. It burns their skin. They’re both out of breath, barely standing on their feet. Jared comes closer and hugs Ross. They stand under the warm stream of water for a moment, before leaving the shower to go to Jared’s bed. They fall into a deep peaceful sleep almost immediately.


	14. Chapter 14

When Jensen wakes up the first thing he feels is fear. Paralyzing fear. Because he remembers everything that happened before he went to sleep. Everything he said and felt. The voice in his head screams loud and clear: “Run! Run as fast and as far as you can! If you don’t you’ll be back to what you were! Do you really wanna go back? Do you really want your past to catch up with you?”  
Jensen is ready to run. He opens his eyes to find himself alone in an empty bed. Jared is gone. All he can do is feel relieved. The panic attack weakens, but then he sees a note on the pillow.  
“Good morning! I’m gone on location. Help yourself with coffee and anything in my kitchen, the shower is only yours for this morning unfortunately. A key for the front door is on the kitchen counter. It’s yours now. Remember - we have a date tonight according to our Calendar.   
P.S. You look beautiful when you sleep. I kissed you but you didn’t even move. You’re such a heavy sleeper. It made me wonder - if I make a move on you while you’re sleeping will there be a chance that I lose our bet but you don’t even notice it? You can call me naughty now. Jared.”  
Tears form in Jensen’s eyes. Fear returns. He wants to run, but some force is holding him. He tears Jared’s note in small pieces. He is hysterical, nervous. He looks crazy but no one sees it till he notices himself in the mirror. He’s a wreck. His face changes. He wipes his tears away.  
“I’ll prove it. No feelings will happen between us. I’ll beat you Jared.”  
He says it out loud. Because he can’t run away from him but he can’t stay either.  
Mister Smith in firm, confident motion goes to the bathroom. He takes a shower, changing between hot and cold water. He must be strong, showing no weakness, no desire. He must overpower Jared.  
He leaves the cold water on for a longer moment. He starts to shiver but he doesn’t turn it off. He’s punishing himself for what he let Ross do last night. Soon he’s gone without having a coffee or anything from Jared’s fridge. He has a key to Jared’s house now, and he’ll use it to beat him.

  
Jared is on the set and he’s much happier than he was yesterday. Somehow it’s hard to stop smiling. Even though yesterday Ross was with him, it had felt like he had suddenly transformed into Jensen. Just for a moment when they talked and hugged. And when they went to sleep it felt like it was Jensen. That’s new, that’s huge! He never loses the character he’s in. Jared has never seen his transformation before, but last night he felt it, it all happened in front of him. This morning he woke up early. He just lied there watching him sleeping. Jared wanted to wake him up and confirm his suspicions that it was Jensen next to him. Jared even kissed him on the lips quite hard but he didn’t wake up. Even when Jared took a shower and got dressed he was still deep in his peaceful sleep. Jared already couldn’t wait for the evening to come.  
And suddenly Jared notices him at the location and his smile is gone. Mister Smith stands there with his glasses and tight grey suit and talks with some guy from the crew. He knows his moves very well. Mister Smith is flirting with that jerk. Jared wants to go and do something, claim him. But he knows it’s exactly what Mister Smith is looking for. He’s daring him, challenging. Fuck. Why? Why is Jensen acting that way? It seems like every time he lets Jared a step closer, the next thing he does is push Jared far, far away.  
Mister Smith turns and looks at Jared. Their eyes meet for a moment. There’s something there, some sadness and tenderness. It’s there for just a moment and gone so soon that Jared is not sure if it even was there to begin with or if he just imagined it. Mister Smith goes back to his conversation with the sleazy guy. He takes the guy’s tie and straightens it. But of course - everything must be in order. And it’s a good reason to touch that jerk and show him who the boss is. Fuck. Jared wants to punch that guy in the face and shake Mister Smith till he’s gone and Jensen is back. But he stops himself. It takes all his will and self-control. In a few minutes Mister Smith and that jerk are gone, out of sight. Jared can’t concentrate all day. He’s angry and frustrated. He’s sick with jealousy. What the fuck? Jared knew exactly how he is. He knew Jensen was tricking. He never lied, never promised anything more than what he was ready to give. At least not in words. Then why the hell does Jared feel betrayed?  
When Jared comes home it’s late in the evening. He’s not even shocked to see Mister Smith there. Actually Jared knew he would be waiting. The shocking part of this is - how he looks. He’s in a maid’s outfit. But not a real maid’s – a porno maid’s. He’s wearing a black net tank top with a white collar and white apron. Jared’s pretty sure Mister Smith is not wearing any kind of trousers or underwear. Mister Smith’s slightly bowed legs are in white knee-long socks. There is a duster in his hand. The glasses and gelled hair are the only things that remind Jared of who he actually is - Mister Smith.  
Jared doesn’t say anything. There’s no point in saying anything. He’ll just ignore it anyway. Jared lets him play his games.  
“Monsieur Padalecki.” He says with a heavy French accent. “Your maison… House is… How is it en Englais… Dirty? Yes, it’s very… very, very… dirty…” He comes closer to Jared as he says that.  
Jared doesn’t answer. He ignores Mister Smith and sits on the couch. He’s tired and disappointed and it’s the first time Jared is actually not turned on around him. It feels good, as if he has gained back the long lost power.   
“Really, really… dirty…” Mister Smith keeps his game on, still talking seductively and with hard French accent.  
Mister Smith acts as if he cleans dust off Jared’s shoulders. It bugs Jared but he doesn’t show any reaction.   
“Monsieur Padalecki, do you want me to clean something else?”  
The duster goes down Jared’s body to his groin. It’s nothing new - same old game. Does he really think Jared is that easy? Like that jerk today at the location? Fuck. Jared knows he’s jealous and it makes him feel mad at himself. He really is an idiot, an easy idiot. How could Jensen ever look at Jared seriously if he is really acting like some easy fuck with him?  
Well, Mister Smith, let the games begin!  
Jared puts on his most seductive smile.   
“Actually - yes. There is a lot of dirt, monsieur Smith? Are you sure you wanna help me take care of it?”  
“Oui, oui!” Monsieur Smith sounds exited.  
They look deep into each other’s eyes. You can cut with knife the sexual tension between them.   
“Are you extremely sure, monsieur Smith?” Jared asks in his most seductive, flirty voice.   
“Avec plaisir! It would be a pleasure to clean up… you, monsieur!”  
Mister Smith goes down on his knees in front of Jared and starts opening his zipper.  
“The bookshelf is dusty!” Jared suddenly says.   
“What?” There is no trace of a French accent anymore. He’s out of character.   
“I said - the bookshelf is dusty, monsieur Smith. And I’m sure the TV has dust on it, too. There is dirty silverware in the sink. When I look at it closer, I think the floor is dusty and…”  
“What the fuck, Jared?”  
“Monsieur Padalecki!” Jared interrupts harshly. “I believe I’m the master and you are the maid here, monsieur Smith. So get your - I have no doubt - naked ass up and start cleaning!”  
Mister Smith blushes. Fuck, he really blushes! But not in that shy and innocent way Jensen did. Mister Smith turns five shades of red because he’s angry. Not just angry – livid.  
But he swallows it and… he actually goes and cleans. Oh, God - Jared puts all his strength together not to laugh. He turns on the TV and tries to watch it. But it’s impossible, because it really is as Jared thought - Mister Smith is not wearing anything under his pinner and he does his best to make Jared notice it with every move he makes. It’s the funniest game. Jared stares at Mister Smith trying his best to not make him notice it and to convince Mister Smith that he is actually deep into some stupid talk show on TV. Mister Smith tries to convince Jared that he is actually cleaning his house, while he puts on his best seduction moves and acts as if he’s not trying to seduce Jared on purpose. Jared looks away from Mister Smith to the TV when Mister Smith turns his head to check what Jared is doing. It’s stupid and it’s fun but it’s becoming harder and harder for Jared because… he is becoming harder and harder. Fuck. And just about half an hour ago he thought that he had gained back the long lost power. Yeah, right! How can you fucking not react when Mister Smith bends over all the time to show his perfectly fit butt cheeks and sighs deeply once in a while? And then he starts to sing something in French very quietly but it sounds more like he’s singing out a long, magical orgasm, like he’s in some unearthly pleasure. Fuck. Jared needs a cold shower now. He won’t last any longer. He’s close to losing it when suddenly Mister Smith stops “cleaning”.   
“Fuck, okay. You won, alright! You won!” He sneezes. “I hate the fucking dust! I can’t take it anymore. I’m out of here. You can watch your fucking talk show in peace and quiet.”   
Mister Smith goes to the front door.   
“Where the hell are you going? Our hours are not over yet!” Jared hates Jensen at this moment because whatever shit he’s full of Jared still wants him. He’s still crazy about him.   
“I’m not your cleaning lady. I’m not your slave!” Mister Smith screams. “And our hours? Are you talking about the marks in our Fucking Calendar? Yeah, that’s right - it’s the Fucking Calendar - it means - we scheduled those hours to fuck. But we don’t. So it’s as good as if I’m not here at all.   
“Sex! Sex! Sex!” Jared explodes. “All you want is sex, right? Nothing more! All I am is just a huge dick for you! But you know what - you won’t be getting me. Ever. I’m sick of being your sex toy. You can go to that sleazy casting director, or Hews, or that jerk from today at the location and have your ass fucked with their small dicks because you’re not getting me anymore. I’m done trying. Maybe you were right after all- we are just fucking buddies. Because there is nothing more in you than just a fuck-thirsty whore!”  
It hurts, but Jensen deserves it. He is more, much more. But Jared wouldn’t like it anyway. Jensen is boring, shy, scared of everything. If he is the real Jensen, he’s just a shadow of people who surround him, people who control him. He’s nothing by himself because he’s a fucking coward. That’s why he never lets anyone close, that’s why he just lives in other characters - it’s the only way to live his dreams because the real Jensen doesn’t have enough courage to do that.   
Jared had said he was a whore. God, if he only knew that Jensen was faithful to one man for twelve years even though he never felt anything while having sex with him. He thought that it was his fault; he tried to be the best husband ever. It turned out Justin was fucking around the town and everyone knew. Even Jensen’s parents, even his sisters and brothers, everyone. Justin had told everyone that Jensen was frigid and everyone thought of him as the most patient, most loving husband ever. For twelve years people around him made Jensen feel like he was not good enough, no matter what he did.   
And now in a totally different way he’s not good enough for Jared. Because he is a whore. Jared said it. Jensen is a whore. He knew it from the beginning. That’s why he never lets anyone close, because he’s not good enough and never will be. Whatever he does, however he changes, whoever he is, he’s never good enough.  
Tears form in Mister Smith’s eyes and he runs because Mister Smith never cries. Mister Smith disappears and there is just Jensen - vulnerable, weak, shy and scared.  
He runs as fast as he can.   
Jared looks after him. His face has changed. There’s no angriness anymore, just guilt and regret.   
“FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”  
Jared screams and smashes the journal table. Small pieces of glass cover the floor.   
It’s all broken.


	15. Chapter 15

Sophia doesn’t even say “hello”. They’ve been shooting a scene from “Between my legs” since seven pm and Sophia hasn’t said a word to Jared except the lines from the movie. When Jared asked what the fuck was happening, Sophia just turned around and left for her lunch break.   
Jensen hasn’t called, hasn’t left any audio or video message. Today is not marked in the Fucking Calendar but they violate it so often that it’s strange. Did he really take what Jared said yesterday so seriously? Fuck. Jared was just angry and jealous. He wanted to hurt Mister Smith just like he had hurt Jared when he went off with that jerk on location yesterday. Jared was sure he’d be here today as Ross or JR, wearing sexy clothes, sending him dirty looks, playing the seduction game at his best. Well actually, he wasn’t sure but he hoped for it. But he’s not here and Jared is worried. Even more - he’s nervous as hell. What if Jensen really took his words seriously, what if he’s gone? What if Jared never sees him again? Jesus Christ, he’s getting melodramatic! Of course he’ll see Jensen - he’s Sophia’s personal assistant. Sophia! Right - Sophia is his best friend. Sophia knows. Jensen surely told her about yesterday - that’s why Sophia is not speaking to him.  
Jared enters the changing room. Sophia is there – a hairdresser works with her hair.  
“I need to talk to you.” Jared says as his eyes meet with Sophia’s in a mirror.   
“I’m busy.”  
“It won’t take long. Will you leave us for a moment please?” Jared addresses the last sentence to the hairdresser.  
She smiles at him and leaves the room. Sophia sighs.   
“He told you about yesterday?”  
“No.”  
“Then why…”  
“He fucking cried all night!”  
“He cried?” Jared is shocked.  
He never thought of Jensen as the crying type. He’s strong and self-confident. Why would he? Did it really hurt him, what Jared said? Jared expected some harsh answer or joking about it or something like that. But Mister Smith just left without saying a word.   
“He came home a complete mess and didn’t say a thing. When I asked he said that it’s over between the two of you and demanded that I never say your name again. Then he took a bottle of Jim Beam and disappeared in his room. I heard him cry most of the night. Fuck. What happened?”  
“Well, you know about the bet?”  
“Yes.”  
“He did what he was doing since we made a bet - tried to seduce me. But I was angry because I saw him leaving with some jerk on the location yesterday afternoon. And I… well… We had a fight and I said some things…”  
“What things?”  
“I said that… he’s a whore…”  
“Is it all?”  
“You don’t think it’s enough for such a reaction?”  
“He was Mister Smith yesterday.” Is all what Sophia says. “It’s gotta be something else. What exactly did you say to him?”  
“Well… I said that he wants just sex…” Jared feels a bit embarrassed saying all this to Sophia, but he has to because it’s the only way he could maybe understand what part of his words made Mister Smith cry all night. “And I’m just a dick for him.”  
“Is that it?”  
“I said that maybe he’s right - we’re just fucking buddies because there is nothing more in him then a dick-hungry whore.”  
“So - let me get this straight - you said that he’s right - you can be just fuck buddies `cause he’s not good enough for you because there is nothing interesting in him, only the always-ready-to-fuck-slut?”  
“Yeah, something like that.”  
“Nicely done, Jared.”  
“What?”  
“You told him he’s not good enough.”  
“So?  
Sophia sighs heavily.   
“It’s not the first time someone has said that to him…”  
Jared looks at Sophia waiting for more. Fuck, he’s an idiot. Of course, Sophia knows Jensen’s past. And Jared is aching to know it, to understand, to find out what has made him live in different characters every day.  
“Jared, I can’t… And… It’s not like I know everything. We were friends in high school. After graduation he stayed in Richardson, but I went to New York to study at the Royal Music Academy. We were in a fight before that and never kept in touch for twelve years. Four years ago he came to my concert and… We reunited as friends. He was… lost…”  
“Lost?”  
“Jared, I really can’t. It’s not my story to tell.”  
“Sophia, I need to know.”  
“If you really care, if you… stay long enough and are determined enough… I’m sure one day he’ll tell you what happened in those twelve years. As I said, I don’t know details but… It was hard… He used to refer to those years as the medieval ages. You know what they call medieval ages in history?”  
“Dark centuries.”  
“It took time for me to convince him that he is good enough to be my personal assistant. But it was even harder to convince him that he is good enough to be my best friend again…”  
“That’s why there are characters, right? If he doesn’t feel good enough, the characters are?”  
“Yeah. He can’t overpower his fears just by himself. Putting a mask on helps.”   
“Who was he?” Jared’s eyes are dark in anger.   
“Who?”  
“The jerk who made him believe he’s not good enough?”  
“Jared, I can’t…”  
“Just tell me. I promise he’ll never find out. But I must know.”  
“Justin, his former husband.”  
Jared already hates Justin even though he has never met him.  
“But it’s not just Justin…” Sophia continues. “It’s everyone.”  
“Everyone?” Jared is shocked.  
“His family, his friends. All of Richardson!”  
“But why? Jesus, Sophia, it’s sick…”  
“There was a reason why Justin married him right after the graduation…”  
Jared looks at Sophia and can’t believe.   
“He was pregnant?”  
“Two months. He never knew he was a carrier. It was a big shock. You know how rare male pregnancy is. At graduation it wasn’t noticeable yet but everyone knew anyway. It was the first male pregnancy in the history of the town.”  
“He has a child? But where…”  
“It was a girl. Megan. She was born dead at eight months.”  
“Jesus…”  
“That’s why Jensen hates this time of the year, hates Christmas…”  
“It happened on Christmas?”  
“Twentieth of December…  
“But today is…”  
“Yeah. And…”  
“And?”  
“He hates his birthdays even more than Christmas…”  
“You mean - today is…?”  
“Yes – Jensen’s birthday and the anniversary of Megan’s death…”

 

Jensen goes under water again and opens his eyes. Water covers them and it hurts, but that’s okay. Jensen feels numb. It seems like if he’s under water everything is gone, the world is gone. Everyone stays there - up, above the water but here in Sophia’s huge bath tub it’s safe. He’s like an ostrich that puts his head under the ground and thinks that no one can see him now.   
Today is That day, the day he hates the most. Why do all the bad things happen to him right on this day? His birthday… Megan’s death day. The day he found out why he always felt like a stranger to his own family. The day he discovered Justin was cheating on him and everyone knew it. He had been cheating for years and the entire town knew. Jensen was the only one who was blind.  
Jensen goes above the water for a breath, tears streaming from his eyes. Even being under water can’t wash those tears away.   
It’s been fifteen years. Fifteen long years since his baby died. Megan would be a teenager now, beautiful and happy. But she’s not and it’s his fault. At least that’s what they told him, his mother, sisters and brothers, Justin’s parents, and Justin himself. It’s all his fault. And he tried for years to make them forgive him. But they never did. He was never good enough. They never even gave him a chance. He was right in the middle, alone.   
Jensen has an older brother and sister – twins – and a younger brother and sister - twins again. But he was alone in the middle. They never celebrated his birthday. Mrs. Smith said it made no sense to celebrate it when the Christmas celebration was so close. Usually everyone was so busy with Christmas that they forgot about his birthday. His Christmas presents were always his Birthday presents too. He’s thirty four today and still feels hurt about it. That’s sick, isn’t it? His mother would surely think so. But then again, Mrs. Smith is not his real mother. It’s the first well-kept secret he discovered on That day. Jensen can still remember that woman he considered to be his mother shout at him, calling him freak, finally revealing that Jensen is not her son. He was born to a man Don Shaffer and his husband Alan Ackles. They died in a car crash. The Smiths took him in, adopted him, but they never loved him, they never accepted him because he was born to a man. The most respected families of the town kept it secret. But then Jensen grew up, got pregnant himself, and the father was Justin Hartley. The times had changed and male pregnancy wasn’t so uncommon anymore, but Richardson still considered it shameful and to be against the laws of God. Jensen was a freak that captured oh-so respectable Justin Hartley in his nets by getting pregnant. Justin’s family hated Jensen and didn’t even try to hide it. But Jensen was trying so hard to be accepted, to be good enough all his life. But he never succeeded.  
Jensen was married to Justin Hartley for twelve years. And only after twelve years did he find out that Justin only married him because he was pregnant.

Jensen could never be himself, never could wear what he wanted, eat what he liked or say what he was thinking. It’s been four years since he ran away and in those four years he’s been more himself and happier than in those thirty years before. But one thing he has learned for sure - there is no love, at least not for him. There are friendships and there is tricking but no love. And now Jensen hates himself most of all because for a moment he started to believe that maybe there could be something for him, there could be a man for him - a friend, a lover and a perfect sex partner. It’s good that it ended now, in one moment. At least he won’t break like he did four years ago. Mister Smith, Ross and JR are here for him. There are plenty of men in the world. After all, how could he even imagine that he could be good enough for someone like Jared Padalecki? It was more stupid than in high school when he imagined that he was good enough for Justin Hartley.  
There is someone knocking at the front door. Jensen ignores it. He’s in Sophia’s room on the second floor and today he has decided to ignore the outside world. It could be some messenger delivering something. Sorry, no one’s home.  
The knocking doesn’t stop. If anything - it’s getting even louder and more determined.  
Fuck. Don’t they know it’s That day? Don’t they know it’s too hard to live through it even with all that liquor in his system? And they are still knocking; they still dare to interrupt his painful memories.  
The knocks become even louder. It seems like someone is hitting the front door with a foot.  
Jensen sighs deeply and gets out of the bath. He takes a white towel and wraps it around his hips. He goes downstairs leaving wet footmarks behind him.   
“I’m coming, just stop knocking!” He shouts angrily to the crazy knocker on the other side of the door.  
And then he suddenly freezes. Through the glass of the front door he sees who the knocker is.  
Oh. My. God.   
It’s Jared. What the fuck is he doing here? Yesterday he basically said Jensen’s not good enough for him and he never wants to see him again. Then why is Jared here? On That day? And knocking so persistently?   
“Let me in.” Jared has noticed him.  
But he can’t. Fuck. Not today. Not when he’s drunk. Not when he’s Jensen.   
“Please…” Jared says. It almost sounds like begging.   
Is Jared Padalecki really begging him to be let in?  
 _Jensen - just keep it together. Come on. Put together all your strength._  
No! No, no, no… It’s not that easy. Panic floods in every cell of his body.  
 _Please, Mister Smith, Ross or JR! Please, come and take over… Please…_  
But there’s no chance. There is just Jensen today. Just the coward, Jensen.   
“I’m not going anywhere till we talk.” Jared is determined. He’s not giving up.  
Jensen’s heart beats so fast and so loud that it seems like everyone around him can hear it. He’s a good pretender. Jared said it a few times. He can do it, it’s the only way.  
Jensen opens the door. Hazel meets green. There is pain and panic in Jensen’s eyes and a mix of worry, care and love in Jared’s.   
“Can I come in?”  
Jared tries to understand who is he today but it’s impossible. He’s just out from a shower or a bath.   
“Why?”  
“We need to talk?”  
“Why?”  
“Because…”  
“Because - what?”  
“Because I need you to forgive me.”  
“For what?”  
“Yesterday.”  
“I have nothing to forgive you for. You were right. Don’t worry. I won’t bother you…”  
“I wasn’t right. I was terribly wrong.”  
“You were?” He’s confused.   
“Look, Jensen...  
“JR!” He interrupts Jared desperately.   
Fuck. How did he know he’s Jensen today?  
“JR?” Jared is not sure.  
Jensen blushes!  
Jared smiles a little.  
He’s been waiting for months and here he is – Jensen’s in front of him. And he’s blushing just the way he did the first time they met. And Jared suddenly knows it. He knows what the most beautiful thing in the world is.


	16. Chapter 16

Jensen turns away. He can’t face Jared now. It seems like Jared can see right through him, and he knew right away that he’s Jensen today. Fuck. What would JR do?  
“So - you came to say that you didn’t mean what you said yesterday?”  
Jared comes in and closes the door.   
“I didn’t mean everything I said.”  
“What part didn’t you mean?”  
“The part where I said you are just a whore.”  
“But I am. I never tried to deny it or hide it. And I’m not embarrassed about it. We never talked about monogamy, right?”  
“Right. But I wanted to say that I didn’t mean it when I said that there is nothing more for me and you than sex. There is a lot more. And that’s why I made that bet with you. I like you, Jensen…”  
“JR!” Jensen looks shocked and blushes.  
Did Jared just say he likes him?  
“Whatever. I like you.”  
“But how… I mean…” Jensen is confused.  
Jared smiles.   
“Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone could really like you? You know - you are amazing.”   
“Amazing?” Jensen is even more shocked.   
“Perfect!”  
“No, I’m not. I’m not perfect. I’m not amazing. I’m a mess. I’m a…”  
“You’re the most amazing, the most perfect mess…”  
“It’s sex, right? We have good sex and you don’t want to lose it?”  
“God, Jensen, I proposed the no-fuck-one-week bet and you still think I’m here just for sex?”  
“Stop calling me Jensen! It’s JR!” Jensen is getting angry. Or maybe he’s just hiding fear behind anger.   
“Why are you angry?”  
“I don’t know…”  
“Are you angry at me?”  
“Yes… No… I don’t know…”  
“How can I make it up to you, for yesterday?”  
“No, you don’t…”  
“You won’t ask me to fuck you and lose the bet?” Jared smirks. “That’s new.”   
Jensen blushes again. God, he’s so amazing!  
“I’m just… tired today…” Jensen tries to justify himself.   
“Oh… And I had big plans for today!” Jared plays frustration.   
“Plans?”  
“Yeah. It’s a big day today - isn’t it?”  
Shivers of panic go all over Jensen’s body again. How does Jared know? Who told him?  
“What do you know about today?” He manages to say.   
“Sophia told me it’s your birthday today! We should celebrate!”  
“I don’t do birthdays.”  
“What a shame. I bought you flowers. But I guess I can drop them in the garbage then…”  
“You bought me flowers?” Jensen is shocked.   
“Well, actually - I intended to but on my way here there were no flower shops. And after Sophia dropped that line about your birthday and being so busy all day that she won’t be able to celebrate it with you I came straight here.”  
“You intended to buy me flowers?”  
Jensen is still in shock. Tears form in his eyes. He tries to hold them back but loses the battle.   
“We can still get them. Get dressed. You’ll show me what flowers you like.”  
“No, it’s ok… I just. You really wanted to buy me flowers?”  
“Why are you crying?” Jared comes closer.   
“I just… I don’t know. I’m an emotional wreck I guess.”  
“Come here.”   
Jared hugs him tight and Jensen lets him. Jensen cries and Jared just holds him. He’s ready to do anything it takes to make Jensen’s birthday full of good memories.  
Jensen cries for quite a long time. Jared feels the wetness of his tears on his chest. When the sobbing stops Jared proposes an idea.  
“Let’s make a cake.”  
Jensen looks up at him.   
“What?”  
“It’s your birthday. Isn’t it a tradition to have a birthday cake?”  
Jensen doesn’t remember ever having a birthday cake.   
“You wanna buy me a birthday cake?”  
“No. I wanna make a birthday cake. And you will help me.”  
“You know how to make a cake?” Jensen is skeptical.   
“No. But I’m ready to try and learn.”  
“You’re crazy!”  
“Yeah, right, and you are so normal!” Jared laughs. “Get dressed and I’ll look in the kitchen to see if we have the basic ingredients for a cake.”  
“You’re serious?” Jensen is still unsure.   
“I never meant anything more.”  
“But…”  
“No “buts”. Go and get dressed. I’ll be waiting in the kitchen. If you’re not back I’ll go looking for you in five minutes.”  
Jensen hesitates for a moment. Then he runs upstairs. Jared watches him disappear upstairs and then goes to the kitchen still smiling.  
When Jensen gets back Jared’s already waiting for him.   
“We must go to a supermarket.”  
“What? Why?”  
“Turns out you guys don’t have even the basic products in your kitchen.”  
“We eat out or order in usually. You really want to go to a supermarket? We can order delivery.”  
“Don’t be so lazy. Let’s go!”  
“But… supermarkets are full of people…”  
“Are you suddenly becoming anti-social, JR?”  
“Me? No. As far as I remember - you were the one who couldn’t stand crowds.”  
“Let me worry about my fears, ok? Let’s go.”  
Jared takes Jensen’s hand and pulls him out of the house. He opens his Chevrolet Impala 2000 for Jensen and he gets in.  
They drive in silence giving secret looks to each other.   
“What?” Jared is the first to say anything.   
“Mhmmm?”  
“You are so quiet, just giving me those looks once in a while. If you wanna say something just say it.”  
“No, I just… I’m still not sure this is a good idea.”  
“Going to a supermarket?”  
“Yes! No… All this. I mean - you, me, my birthday, making a cake. I’m not sure if… I mean - I was drinking all night and… This morning too.”  
“No, you’re not having hallucinations.” Jared smiles, “We’re really going to a supermarket together to buy some stuff and make you a cake. Just relax and enjoy it.”  
“Why are you so excited?”  
Jared just smiles.   
“Don’t you have anything better to do then… this…”  
“Jensen…”  
“JR.”  
“Whatever… I’m right where I wanna be doing exactly what I wanna do.”  
Jared takes his gaze off the road for a moment and looks at Jensen. He finds Jensen’s hand lying in his lap and takes it in his, squeezing gently. Their fingers intertwine so naturally.   
After a few minutes, Jared parks his car near Macy’s. Before getting out, Jared puts his baseball hat and sunglasses on. Jensen knows he’s hiding but he doesn’t make any comment about it. It’s huge that Jared suggested this and took him to the supermarket even though they both know how much he hates places full of people.  
They go straight to the food section. They put a lot of stuff into the shopping cart, everything that Jared likes and everything that Jensen likes. There is ice cream, pickles, olives, Mascarpone, marshmallows, cream, a lot of different fruits, chips, beer, wine, Evian, jelly, milk, sugar, eggs…  
“Hope we didn’t forget anything for the cake!” Jared is a bit worried.  
Jensen laughs. He used to enjoy grocery shopping. He hasn’t done it for years.  
Even though Jared is hiding behind his sunglasses and baseball hat, some people still recognize him and ask for autographs, photos or just simply stare. He surely doesn’t feel comfortable about it, especially when someone is intrusive. But he does his best to look relaxed and comfortable.  
When they drive back to Jensen’s, the ice is broken. They laugh and talk about nonsense the whole time.   
When all the groceries are brought into kitchen, the project with code name “Birthday cake” takes off.  
Jared washes his hands and opens a packet of flour.   
“Have you ever made something cake-like?” Jensen is not sure.   
“Oh, stop your worrying. I’m a professional.”  
Jared pours flour on the kitchen table. A cloud of flour fills the room, some landing on his hands, shirt and face.  
Jensen laughs.   
“Nice move, professional.”  
“You doubt my professionalism?” Jared is acting out. “Okay, I’ll show you my professionalism!”  
Jared takes some flour and throws it on Jensen. He’s covered in white powder now.  
Jared laughs.   
“I’m gonna kill you!” Jensen takes some flour and throws it at Jared.  
Jared laughs even harder. He’s all white too.   
“Hey, hey, stop - we actually need some of it for the cake.”  
And so they make batter for the cake. Flour, sugar and cinnamon is everywhere.   
“Good thing we decided not to play with the eggs the same way we played with the flour.”  
Jared laughs.   
“Sophia will kill me!”  
“She won’t. It’s your birthday. You can do whatever crazy stuff you want and no one has the right to admonish you.”  
“Really?”  
“Of course. It’s rule number 1 for birthdays, didn’t you know that?”  
“You’re such a smartass. But still if Sophia won’t kill me, Mrs. Paterson will.”  
“She’s the cleaning lady. It’s her work to clean.”   
“I can’t remember this kitchen ever being such a mess.”  
“I think this kitchen feels happy.”  
“How’s that?”  
“It’s never actually been used. It felt kind of lonely. But now it’s proud because it really feels like a kitchen.”  
“Have I told you you’re crazy, Jared?  
“Ha-ha-ha…”  
After that they put the batter in the oven and make whipped cream with a mixer. Soon they start messing with it.   
“Hey, it’s yummy.” Jared states while cleaning his cheek with a finger and then licking it.  
“Really?” Jensen is not convinced.   
“Try it!”  
Jensen looks at the mixer and then at Jared. He makes his choice and goes for it. He takes Jared’s face in his hands and pulls it closer. Soon Jensen’s tongue touches Jared’s cheek.  
There goes Jared’s dick again.   
“Mmmm…” Jensen lets out pleasurable sigh. “You’re right - it is yummy, much better than from spray bottles.”  
“Hey, you have some on your face too. No need to steal mine.”  
Jensen blushes fiercely and tries to move away from Jared, but he stops Jensen. He cups Jensen’s face and licks cream off his nose.  
Jensen shivers.   
“There is some on your forehead.”  
Jared whispers as he leaves wet traces of saliva on Jensen’s forehead.   
“And cheek…”  
He leaves small kisses on Jensen’s right cheek and then does the same to the left one.  
Jensen moans.   
“And your neck…”  
Jared’s mouth is on Jensen’s neck, leaving long wet traces.  
They’re so busy that they don’t notice the smell of something burning. It’s the cake. When they take it out of the oven, it’s all black. Jared takes the skillet out with bare hands. It’s hot.   
“Fuck, it’s burning. Where do I put it?”  
“I don’t…”  
“Fast! Ouch, it’s hot!”   
“Here!” Jensen points at the sink.  
Jared drops the hot skillet with burnt cake in the sink. His fingers are still burning. He turns the faucet on but no water comes out of it.  
“Oh, I forgot. There is no water in the kitchen. Plumber is coming tomorrow.   
“Shit.” Jared’s fingers are still burning.  
Jensen reacts automatically. He takes Jared right hand and puts Jared’s fingers in his mouth one by one covering them with saliva. Then he does the same thing to the fingers of Jared’s left hand. He’s so busy that at first he doesn’t notice Jared’s facial expression. It’s the most sexual thing Jared has ever seen. He can’t help but imagine those full puffy lips around his dick. Yeah, those lips have been on Jared’s dick before but now it’s something different. He’s not Mister Smith, Ross or JR. He’s Jensen.  
Jared’s semi-hard dick goes fully hard instantly. Fuck.  
When Jensen looks up at Jared at last and meets his dark gaze he blushes again. Jared looks at him as if he were a miracle.   
“Where did you come from?” He whispers.


	17. Chapter 17

Jensen’s face turns five shades of red.   
“Sorry.”  
He turns away.   
Jared leans closer to Jensen from behind and whispers in his ear.   
“Don’t be.”  
Jensen shivers from Jared’s breath on his ear.  
“We… we gotta… make another cake.”  
He changes the subject.  
Jared can’t help but smile. It’s good to be on top in this relationship for a change. Did he just say “relationship” in his thoughts?  
“Yeah, okay.”  
They put a new portion of batter in the oven.   
“How long was the last one in till it burnt?”  
“I don’t know, maybe an hour.”  
“Okay. Then this one should take about half an hour.” Jared thinks logically.   
“But we should check on it every ten minutes.” Jensen is determined to make this cake okay.   
“Right. I’m timing this one. While we’re waiting lets maybe watch TV.” Jared raises an eyebrow.   
“Wanna have something to drink. Beer, wine?”  
“Did we buy champagne?”  
“No. But Sophia is a Dom Perignon junkie.”  
“I would never expect anything less from her.” Jared laughs.   
“Glasses should be here somewhere.”  
“No! No glasses. Let’s drink it from bottles like beer.”  
Jensen laughs.   
“What?” Jared looks at him playing innocent. “It’s your birthday. Let’s do some crazy shit.”  
“Yeah. Let’s do some really crazy shit. Like forget about glasses.” Jensen says with irony.   
“You’re such a buzz killer!”  
“No, I’m not. And I will open my bottle myself.”  
“Whatever you wish, birthday boy.”  
“Birthday boy?” That sounds so strange for Jensen.   
“What? You don’t like to be called like that?”  
“No, it’s just… It sounds strange. No one has ever called me that. It sounds somehow special.” He’s sad suddenly.  
Jared remembers all that Sophia said to him earlier. Jensen has really never had a decent birthday. He deserves a real surprise party and presents and… All kinds of birthday stuff. But Jared is giving him just a birthday cake. Actually, he’s just trying to give him that because Jared has serious doubts about succeeding.   
“Okay, birthday boy, where does Sophia hide her Dom Perignon?”  
“Basement.”  
“This house has a basement?”  
“Yeah.” Jensen smiles “Follow me.”  
He opens some doors in the kitchen. Jared follows. It’s dark in there.   
“Where is the light switch?”  
“It should be here somewhere. I never go in there. It’s Sophia’s territory.”  
Jared hits something with his leg.   
“Fuck…”  
“What?”  
“It’s okay. Just hurt my leg on something.”  
“One switch should be downstairs.”  
Jensen disappears into the darkness down the stairs.  
Jared is left alone in the dark. Fuck. He follows with ginger steps. And suddenly one step is missing.   
“Oops, I forgot to…” Jensen says at the exact moment Jared starts to fall. He lands still on his legs but hits something with his body. It’s Jensen. “There is one step missing.” Jensen finishes his sentence so close to Jared that he can feel Jensen’s breath on his neck.  
And suddenly the light is on. Jared sees that he has pushed Jensen into the wall with his body.   
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”  
“I’m okay. Are you?”  
“I’m alright.”  
“Champagne is that way.” Jensen shows the way by turning his face away. He can’t move - he’s trapped between Jared’s body and the wall.  
Jared moves away from Jensen even though he doesn’t want to.  
They go to shelves full of bottles.   
“God, she really is a junkie!” Jared is surprised at how many bottles of champagne Sophia has in her basement.   
Jensen just laughs.   
“So, what year do you want?”  
“I don’t know. I’m not a champagne person. I like whiskey or tequila, maybe some wine at a dinner. Champagne just makes me dizzy.”  
“Same here.”  
“Okay. But how do we choose then?”  
“Hmmm… I have an idea. Choose a number from one to twelve!”  
“Two.”  
“Okay.” Jensen bends down to look at the row two. “Now, choose a number from one to thirty three if I counted it right.”  
“Twenty.”  
“Four, eight, ten, fourteen, eighteen, twenty.” Jensen counts in a strange manner. Then he takes a bottle and gives it to Jared. “Here you go. You chose…” He checks the etiquette. “Moet Chandon Dom Perignon Rose year 1996. If I remember correctly, Sophia bought ten bottles last May. Five hundred for a bottle.”  
“Jesus Christ - five hundred. Are you sure she won’t be mad?”  
“Hey - you said it yourself - I’m the birthday boy for today and can do all kinds of craziness and no one can get angry at me.”  
Jared laughs.   
“Good. At last, I taught you how to get the most out of your status today. Now…” Jared goes to another shelf. “You choose a number from one to twelve.”  
“Four!”  
Jared bends down and looks at the fourth row.  
“Now a choose number from one to twenty-nine. Numbers twenty and eighteen are missing.”  
“Twenty-one!”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, I’m sure.”  
“Okay. Then you got Dom Perignon Magnum year 1978.”  
“Ha-ha-ha!” Jensen laughs.   
“What?” Jared is confused.   
“It’s the same year I am.”  
“Therefore, you are…” Jared does the math, “Thirty-four today?”  
“Oh, just don’t remind me, okay?”  
They both laugh.   
“Okay - I have a toast.” Jared says. “Let’s open up our bottles.”  
“Here?”  
“Why not?”  
“Okay.”  
They both start to open their bottles.   
“On three!” Jared is excited.   
“Okay!” Jensen is the same.   
“Three… two…”  
And before Jared says “one” Jensen already has his bottle open with a big bang. The cork flies somewhere few inches from Jared’s face.   
“Jesus, you really have a plan of killing me today!” Jared shouts.   
“Sorry…” Jensen blushes. Good thing it’s dark in the basement so Jared can’t see it. “It was the first time I ever opened a bottle of champagne.”  
“Ever?” Jared is shocked.   
“Yeah.”  
“Then you have a natural talent for it. You almost didn’t spill it at all.  
Jared opens his bottle professionally.  
“So, the toast! Jensen Ross Smith…”  
“JR.”  
“JR, Mister Smith, Ross and Jensen - I wanna wish you all the best on your birthday and… I wanna make a promise. I promise I will make your each and every birthday better than the last one as long as I breathe. Was it dramatic enough?”  
Jensen laughs.   
“Yeah, it was… real spine-tingler!”  
“Cheers!”  
“Cheers!”  
They clink bottles and drink from them.   
“Hey, how long since we put that cake in?”  
Jared checks his watch.   
“Forty minutes. Shit.”  
Jensen runs upstairs and Jared follows him quickly taking two more bottles of champagne with him. He has a suspicion they will need more champagne sometime soon.  
This time the biscuit is just starting to burn. Jensen and Jared decide it would be fine for their first home made cake. They cut the cake in three slices and start spreading cream mixed with Mascarpone, jam and honey between them. They decorate it with marshmallows, chocolate chips and fruit. While doing that they drain their champagne bottles swig by swig. They change bottles to taste what the other is having. They get more and more drunk.   
“Done!” Jensen says happily, as he puts the last cherry in the ring on the cake.   
“Yeah!” Jared looks at the cake. “I can’t believe we really did it!”  
Jensen laughs.   
“What?” Jared quirks an eyebrow.   
“You do realize that this is the ugliest cake ever?”  
“Oh, shut up. I like it. And I bet it tastes great.”  
“On what?”  
“What?”  
“You bet on what?” Jensen smirks. Champagne in his blood makes him cheery and easy-going.   
“Oh - just don’t go there!” Jared looks scared, but Jensen just laughs.   
“Okay.” He says. “I guess we need to cut it into pieces.”  
“No! You should blow out the candles first!”  
“Candles?”  
“Yes – blow out the candles and make a wish!”  
Wow - it really is like a real birthday. Like in the movies!  
“But… I don’t have candles.”  
“No candles at all?”  
“Just thick aromatic ones, but no small ones for cakes.”  Jensen looks sad.   
“It’s okay.” Jared takes a bow of matches and starts sticking them into the cake one by one. “You can help me if you want.” Jared laughs. “Thirty four - it will take some time!”  
“You’re crazy. The matches you light first will burn down by the time you get to light the last one.”  
“I will move fast!”  
“No one can move THAT fast!” Jensen laughs.  
Jared stops sticking matches into the cake.   
“Okay, smartass.” He says as he crosses arms on his chest. “Tell me your idea if you have a better one.”  
“We can put just seven matches into the cake.”  
“Why seven?”  
“Three plus four is seven, duh!”  
Jensen explains it like Jared’s an idiot.   
“Not bad, smartass. Not bad at all.”  
Jared sticks the seventh match into the cake.   
“Now get ready to make a wish. Think about it carefully and seriously. It must be something big and something you really, really want. Like - have dreamed about it for years. You must visualize it. And don’t say what you wish for out loud and never under any circumstances tell anyone your wish unless it has come true. Are you ready?”  
“Yes!”  
“Really ready? Because it will take just seconds before the matches burn down! You’ll have to blow them out right away when I light them all.”  
“Yeah, yeah - I know! Just light them already!” Jensen is impatient.   
“Okay! Three, two, one…” Jared lights up all seven matches as fast as he can and Jensen blows them out right away.   
“Yeah!” Jared screams happily and hugs Jensen.  
Jensen puts his arms around Jared’s neck. Jensen’s feet leave the ground as Jared spins them around a few times. They’re laughing. They’re happy, happier than any of them could ever imagine.  
After a few minutes they sit on the carpet next to the TV, drinking a second pair of Dom Perignon and eating the cake. Jared was right this time – the ugly cake is really good.   
It’s about eleven pm when they are completely wasted and falling asleep right where they are - on the floor. Jared is lying on his back, his arm around Jensen’s shoulder, Jensen’s head on Jared’s chest.   
Jared is half way to sleep land when Jensen whispers.   
“Jared?”  
“Mhmmm?”  
“Are you asleep?”  
“Almost…”  
“Yesterday… on set… that guy Mister Smith went off with… Nothing happened… He just… wanted to make you think that… But nothing happened…”  
Jensen can’t see it but Jared is smiling. Looks like today he got a birthday present too.

 


	18. Chapter 18

When Jensen wakes up the first thing he notices is a duvet covering him. As far as he remembers, when they fell asleep last night they didn’t have a duvet. It was probably Sophia.

The other thing he notices - actually feels more than notices - is Jared’s strong body pressed against his back and a strong arm wrapped around his waist.

_Oh. My. God._

He really spent the whole night with Jared Padalecki!

And they made cake together, cake for his birthday. And they stole champagne from the basement. They got drunk together.

And he is Jensen for the second day in the row… What the fuck…

But maybe it doesn’t count. What time is it now?

Jensen carefully turns his head and looks at the big clock on the wall. Almost 4 am. Jared must be on set at seven, same for Sophia. Jensen knows their schedules very well.

He tries to move a bit. Jared’s steady breathing changes and he moves. Unexplainable shivers of panic go through Jensen’s body. He squeezes his eyes shut and pretends to be asleep. Why the fuck is he so scared?

Jared moves a bit away from him, his arm is still on Jensen’s hip but not holding so tight anymore. His breath gets deep and slow again.

Jensen takes Jared’s arm off of himself very slowly and carefully and gets up as quietly as he can. He turns around and there he is - sleeping peacefully, snoring a little but not too loud, hair messy, right cheek dirty - some chocolate from the cake Jensen guesses.

He’s fucking beautiful. But no one would expect anything less. He’s Jared Padalecki after all.

Jared moves in his sleep again, changing position. Now he is on his back.

Panic attacks Jensen. Why is he so fucking scared of the possibility that Jared could wake up right now and see him standing next to Jared’s sleeping form, looking at him?

He has to get out of here. Jared can’t see him. Jensen surely looks terrible, head still aching - fucking hang over. His hair is messy. Jensen looks down at himself; tank top rumpled, bare feet, tight old jeans. He looks like he used to four years ago - hiding in Hartley’s big mansion, scared to meet Mrs. Hartley on his way to the kitchen or garden because Justin’s mother would surely admonish him for his choice of wardrobe.

Did Jared really say that Jensen was amazing and perfect yesterday? He must have been wasted and imagined it all. Or maybe… Fuck, maybe Sophia told him about Megan… His baby girl.

Tears form in Jensen eyes. He almost didn’t think about Megan yesterday. All thanks to Jared. He made Jensen relax, made him forget, made him feel happy instead of hurt. But now his memory is back again. The pain is back.

Tears stream down his cheeks. It feels like something is stuck in his throat. It hurts and suffocates him.

Jensen runs out through the front door to his motorcycle. Sobs take over him, tears make his view foggy.

Jared hears some sound and it wakes him up. It’s the front door. Someone closed it with a bang.

He’s alone on the floor.

“Jensen!”

Jared gets up and runs outside as fast as he can. And there he is - on his motorcycle. He starts it.

“Jensen!” Jared screams as loud as he can. “Jensen!” He’s desperate, he tries to catch him, but Jensen ignores Jared.

Or maybe he really doesn’t hear him.

Jensen drives away.

Jared runs to his car and follows him.

Jensen drives fast. He doesn’t know where he is going. It doesn’t matter. He just wants to get away. Never stop running. It feels like the only possibility to not get caught.

Tears are streaming down his cheeks, the sobbing never stops. He can barely see the road. But he doesn’t stop, he isn’t even slowing down. He hasn’t noticed someone following him. He goes up to Hollywood hills.

Jared tries to catch him but Jensen is faster. And he drives much riskier. He’s on a motorcycle - it’s much easier for him to out-distance cars on the road. For a moment Jared loses him from his sight. But then he sees motorcycle lying on the side of the road.

“Jesus, no, no, no…” Jared whispers to himself as he parks his car and gets out.

Jensen is not by the motorcycle and thank God it doesn’t look like there had been a crash. It seems like he just stopped, dropped the motorcycle and went somewhere. Jared looks around and there he is about fifty meters off the road in the bush.

“Jensen!” Jared screams and runs to him. “Jensen!”

He turns around and notices Jared at last. Even from a distance Jared can see that Jensen is crying and shaking in sobs.

Jensen turns around and runs away.

“Jensen!” Jared is desperate.

“No!” He screams and keeps running.

But Jared is faster. He enjoys morning runs to stay fit after all. He catches Jensen and grabs his arms. Jensen tries to escape from Jared, tries to shake his hands off.

“No! Let me go!” He screams through his cries.

“Jensen, please…”

“No…” All his energy is used, all his strength is gone. He crashes down on his knees in hysteria.

Jared kneels down next to Jensen and hugs him from behind as tight as he can.

Jensen stops fighting Jared’s embrace. He lets Jared hold him, hiding his face with his hands.

“Megan…” He whispers. “She wasn’t breathing…” Sobs crack his voice. “My daughter… my baby died…”

Jared can feel tears in his eyes. It’s so fucking unfair. But at least now he understands what is happening to Jensen.

“I know.” He whispers in him hair. “Sophia told me.”

“She was so small… So tiny… And so beautiful… They closed her eyes… I never saw what color they were…”

“Green…”

“What?”

“Her eyes were green…” Jared whispers, rubbing Jensen’s wrists gently.

“How do you know?” Jensen is confused.

“She had her father’s eyes…” Jared whispers.

Sobbing stops for a moment but then goes on again.

Jared nuzzles the back of Jensen’s head.

He doesn’t know what to say, how to help. Is it even possible to help in situation like this? Jared has never felt as helpless as right now, because his own pain never felt as bad as seeing Jensen in pain right now. And suddenly something washes over him. He loves Jensen Ross Smith. When did that happened? Who knows. But it’s already been there for some time.

And Jared starts to sing. It’s more like a whisper, unconfident as if he doesn’t know what he is doing. Jared keeps singing and Jensen keeps crying as the sun rises over Hollywood hills.

“Hush my love now don`t you cry   
Everything will be all right   
Close your eyes and drift in dream   
Rest in peaceful sleep   
  
If there`s one thing I hope   
I showed you

If there`s one thing I hope   
I showed you   
Hope I showed you   
  
Just give love to all

Just give love to all  
Just give love to all

  
Oh my love in my arms tight   
Every day you give me life   
As I drift off to your world   
Rest in peaceful sleep   
  
I know there`s one thing that   
you showed me

I know there`s one thing that   
you showed me  
That you showed me   
  
Just give love to all

Just give love to all

Just give love to all  
Let`s give love to all”

Jared repeats the last line many, many times. Jensen’s body is not shivering in sobs anymore. The sun is quite high in the sky. The day should be beautiful and hot as any other day in California.

Jared’s voice cracks. He’s not a singer, his voice isn’t trained to sing for so long. They sit in silence for some time; not saying a thing, not even moving.

“What else did Sophia tell you?” Jensen is suddenly asking.

But something has changed. His voice is different. No sadness, no panic in it. He’s confident and strong again.

“Just your birthday and that your daughter died this same day.”

“Anything more?”

“No…”

“You didn’t ask questions?”

“Sophia said - it’s not her story to tell.”

“Good.”

He suddenly gets up and away from Jared’s caring arms.

“Now forget everything that she told you.”

Jensen continues and Jared knows - it’s not Jensen anymore. The way he stands, the way he looks - it must be Mister Smith or Ross. It’s the first time Jared sees how Jensen’s characters change. And now he gets it. It’s his way to cope, his way to survive. Jared is not scared of that. He can live with it. Because the truth is - he likes Jensen in all his characters because after all - it’s still him. The thing he’s afraid of is that he’s obviously pushing Jared away. Again. He does it every time Jared comes a step closer and this time it was a big step. Jared understands it. He saw Jensen’s outburst; pain and hurt. Jensen told him about Megan and now he will surely push Jared away. As far as he can. His next words prove Jared is right.

“Forget it all because none of this is your fucking business.”

With those words Jensen turns around and confidently goes to his motorcycle. Jared knows better than to follow. He waits as Jensen gets on his bike and rides away. Jared looks to the rising sun one last time before going back to his car and driving away.

 

 

_Author note: Song lyrics credit goes to Creed (Lullaby)_


	19. Chapter 19

Jared is sure he won’t see Jensen today after what happened this morning. But he is wrong.

It is early afternoon. Jared feels tired after shooting scenes from “Between my legs” since eight am. According to the schedule, he has two more scenes to shoot after a late lunch break.

When Jared gets to his dressing room, first thing he does - he checks his cell phone. No messages from Jensen.

Fuck.

And Sophia was shooting early this morning on another location. Jared didn’t have the opportunity to see her, talk to her. Now she must be gone to the recording studio already.

He could call Jensen.

But Jared hesitates. He knows him well enough - if Jared tries to push Jensen could run even further away.

Maybe he could call Sophia. Ask for some advice…

Jared makes a decision and looks for Sophia’s phone number when suddenly Ross comes in.

Ross. No doubt about that. He’s wearing a purple sweater vest over a light button down shirt. His hair styled perfectly, glasses in new, modern wires.

 “Ross?”

Jared is shocked that he is here.

“Shut up you fool and kiss me!” Ross likes to give orders and dominate as always.

Jared doesn’t move.

_What the fuck is happening?_

“No kiss?” He seems disappointed. “After I got all afternoon free for you? You are so ungrateful.” He says melodramatically.

“You did what? How?”

“My personal charm, and a bit of blackmail. Don’t worry.” He smiles.

“But why?” Jared still doesn’t get it.

Ross ignores him.

“Have you bought Christmas presents already?”

“What?”

“For Chad and his girlfriend, for Sophia. I presume you’re good enough friends to exchange Christmas presents, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but…”

“No “buts”! We don’t have time. Let’s go.”

Ross takes Jared’s hand and pulls him up off his seat and out the door.

And Jared follows. How could he not? Jensen is still speaking to him and he wants to take Jared Christmas shopping. What the fuck?

“I got here by taxi. We must take your car.”

Jared just nods.

Pretty soon they are heading to Walmart. Ross is making a list of people Jared has to buy presents for.

“I can’t believe you haven’t sent presents to your family yet! It’s just three days till Christmas.”

“I was busy!” Jared is a bit irritated.

“Just don’t tell me you usually send money!?!”

Well, okay - how the fuck did he know that.

“I’m quite busy, you know, to go and look for the fucking presents. And no one will be happy if I buy something they don’t like. It’s better that they buy what they want.”

“I can’t believe it!” Ross is shocked. “You’re so boring, Jared!”

“Yeah, right. And you yourself - have you bought Christmas presents already, sweetheart?” Jared says sarcastically.

Ross’ face changes and he looks away. He doesn’t say a thing.

“Exactly.” Jared says. “So before mocking me just look at yourself!”

“I don’t do Christmas, okay?” Ross is angry.

“How convenient, isn’t it? You don’t do Christmas so you don’t have to buy presents for people, right?”

“I don’t expect to receive presents either.”

“And so you what - send letters to everybody - don’t give me presents for Christmas because I don’t do Christmas?”

“Fuck off Jared. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

And so they drive in uncomfortable silence. About ten minutes. And then suddenly Ross starts talking.

“I don’t keep in touch with my family. And… as you know… I hate Christmas time. It’s… full of memories. Bad memories… Painful. I only have Sophia. She knows not to buy me any presents and she doesn’t expect them from me. So… Yeah, it’s… Well. You were right. I didn’t have any right to mock you about not buying the presents. I just… I don’t know. I guess… I just thought…”

“It’s okay. Just say it.”

Jared parks his car at Walmart and turns to look at Ross. Ross has tears in his eyes and he clearly is holding them back. And he’s so Jensen like at this moment.

“I thought that… It must be nice to… have good memories about Christmas, to have family that is really like family… And loves you. And… Even if you can’t be with them… You sent them presents. Real presents. And… When you buy them… You think about your family and… It’s almost like you are with them… Because… Isn’t that the point of Christmas? Remembering… Caring… Loving…” He whispers.

Wow. He just told so much. But it only makes more questions rise in Jared’s head. So - his family doesn’t love him? He doesn’t keep in touch with them? He really has just Sophia?

“Come on, move closer!”

“What!”

“I have a desperate urge to hug you so you better move your ass closer!” Jared smiles a little.

“But…”

“Shut up!”

“You are…”

“I said - shut up!”

“Jared…”

“Would you shut up already and let me hug you?”

Ross hesitates for a moment and then crashes into Jared’s open arms.

He doesn’t cry loud, no sobbing. But there are tears because Jared feels wetness on his shoulder. He just holds Ross for a long time saying nothing before he breaks the silence.

“I was scared you wouldn’t talk to me after this morning.”

“I was too…” He confesses.

“You were scared I wouldn’t talk to you again?” Jared is shocked.

“I’m too big of a mess… I still can’t believe you’re not running away screaming…”

“I like you. I already told you.” _And this morning I came to a sudden realization that I love you._

Jared thinks to himself. But he knows he can’t say it out loud to Ross just yet. He’s not ready. The last thing he wants is to scare him.

“Thanks for yesterday. It was… I mean… I’ve never had a birthday like that. Never. I felt… Happy… I understand that you felt sorry for me… Pity…”

What the fuck? Jared gets angry instantly. He ends the hug and looks at Ross.

“Shut up and listen to me! Are you listening?”

Of course, he’s listening. He has been listening to every word Jared has ever said. That’s how he knows so much about Jared. He remembers everything.

Ross nods.

“It wasn’t because I felt sorry for you because of Megan. It wasn’t pity. I was there because I wanted to be there with you. Because I fucking care about you. Because I don’t remember if I have ever felt so good, so relaxed as when I’m with you. Now get it in your thick skull!”

“You’re fucking crazy!” Ross smiles.

“Good. Because I know, you won’t go for anything normal!” Jared smiles back at him.

Ross laughs.

“Okay, smartass, let’s go and buy some presents!”

He gets out of the car but Jared hesitates. He looks for something in the back seat.

“What?” Ross asks through the window.

“My glasses and hat…”

“Geez, Jared. You don’t need them.”

“I do. Remember yesterday’s grocery shopping?”

“Jared - you’re an actor. There are other ways to not be recognized. Trust me. You’ll have fun. Now get out.”

Jared just sighs and obeys.

Ross takes his hand. Jared tries to hide a soft smile. It’s so high school to walk around holding hands in public.

“So, let’s start with…?”

“How would I know? You made a list of people I must buy presents for.”

“Okay. Let’s start with the easy part - Chad’s girlfriend.”

“Kitty?”

“A-ha.”

“I don’t know the girl. I’ve never met her.”

“She’s a politics professor at Vancouver University.”

“How do you know that?”

“Jensen is a fan - remember…”

“Sweet. Turns out you know more about Chad than I do.”

“I know just the facts you can find on the internet. But you – geez – has it ever occurred to you to ask what your best friend’s girlfriend does for a living?”

“Shut up! I knew she was a professor. Just never asked where or what she’s teaching.”

“Okay, whatever. I think we could buy her some expensive natural cosmetics set. It would be safe.”

“I guess.”

“Good. We must go that way!” Ross almost drags him to the women’s cosmetics section.

They smell what seems like a million body creams, lotions and shower gels. Jared thinks he could pass out any minute if they don’t stop smelling all those odors.

“I like this one. It’s not so dominant, but quite sweet. I could imagine Chad smelling it on her neck…”

“Crazy fan boy!”

“You’re not helping, arrogant idol!”

“Okay. I guess it could do. It’s too sweet and girlish for my taste but Chad would like it. And I hope Kitty will too.”

“Good.”

They go to the cashier. The blonde girl in her twenties looks at Jared and she has surely recognized him. She smiles brightly and blushes a little.

Fuck. Right just what he needs now! And it’s only because of Ross who didn’t let him take his glasses and baseball hat.

“Hey, sweetheart - can we get some service here!” Ross suddenly says with a strong southern accent.

Blonde girl looks at him.

“Just a moment Mister!” And turns her gaze back to Jared. “I’m sorry, Mr. Padalecki - can I get your autograph?”

Ross puts his hand around Jared’s neck.

“Hey, blondy - back off. I don’t know whatcha talking abou’, but Billy Bob he is ma man!” He pulls Jared’s head to him and kisses him wet and sloppy, marking his territory.

Jared almost chokes with spit because he’s so surprised from everything that is happening.

Ross interrupts the kiss for a moment and looks at the shocked blonde girl.

“Just count up, missy, and stop sterin’ at ma man!” He looks back at Jared. “I knew it was bad idea to come here, het-boy. Those girlz the’ just don’ know how to keep their fingers off your jeans.”

Before Jared can say anything, Ross takes the money from his man purse, pays for a set of body care cosmetics to the pale cashier and drags Jared out of the women’s cosmetics section.

“So, where next?” Ross asks in his own voice again with slight British accent.

“What the fuck was…” Jared is still shocked.

“It’s okay - no need to thank me. But you could just act along. I mean - you call yourself a professional actor and…”

But Ross doesn’t get the opportunity to say anything more because Jared is pulling him close and attacking his lips. Ross adjusts fast and opens his mouth, deepening the kiss.

After a few minutes they’re both out of breath, lips swollen. Jared’s dick semi-hard, Ross’ is pretty much the same. People around them are staring, some smiling, and some even clapping.

“What… was… that… for?” Ross tries to get his breathing back.

“You are fucking… unbelievable…” Jared is gasping. “When I think that… I know you… know well enough… already… You do… something… Like…”

“Unexpected?”

“Yeah…”

“Sweet.” Ross says. “But now a lot of people have recognized you because of this little show you started.”

“Have any ideas how to escape them, con-man?”

“Well… Do you know how to dance?”

“What?”

“Just follow my lead!”

And Ross makes Jared dance a waltz. He used to take lessons in dance years ago. So they dance. Ross leads at first but then Jared takes the lead. It’s a show, it’s a performance. People stop looking at them. They end their dance with a swirl and the audience is clapping.

“Thank you! Gracias. Thank you!” Ross says with a strong Spanish accent. “We will be doing tango on the third floor in half an hour… Gracias for choosing Walmart.”

“Gracias!” Jared says.

And they both run away, laughing like deviant school children.


	20. Chapter 20

They spend the next three hours shopping and fooling people. A few times they become Billy Bob and Johnny from Dallas – a crazy gay couple on their honeymoon (yeah, they’re shocked people really believed them,) other times they’re brothers from London - talking with a thick British accent and mocking everything American. Shop assistants and other customers change their mind soon enough if for a moment they thought that it’s Jared Padalecki standing next to them. They buy an enormous cooking book for Chad who is into cooking lately and a guitar case for Sophia - they order her initials to be engraved on it. They buy sexy and colorful underwear for Jared’s mother, sister and sister-in-law (Jared felt embarrassed buying it, but Ross felt like a fish in the water.) Jared is not sure about the size but Ross makes him buy it anyway because even if it’s the wrong size women will always appreciate men buying them underwear (Ross knows better. After all, his best friend is a woman.) Jared accepts it but still buys some jewelry for them - that will surely fit at least, he thinks. ****

They buy a golden watch for Jared’s dad, a collection of detective books and twenty ties for Jared’s brother. They buy a lot of Christmas decorations and souvenirs for old friends and acquaintances. After that, they move to the children’s section and spend another two hours there.

They choose video games, dolls and other toys for Jared’s nephews. When Jared is still looking through the video games shelf, Ross goes to talk with a shop clerk. He talks with him for a long time. Jared comes closer and catches a bit of the conversation. It seemed like the shop clerk was familiar to Ross when they walked into that enormous children goods section of Walmart. Jared hears Ross ordering a lot of different toys to be delivered to the local children’s hospital and two orphanages just outside Hollywood. He pays for everything in cash. Jared smiles a little to himself and moves back to the video games section not giving any clue that he knows. Jensen doesn’t do Christmas. Right!

“So, anything else?” Ross asks when he comes back.

“No, I think we have presents for everyone.” Jared answers.

“You do.” Ross says sharply. “Not “we”!”

“Okay, whatever. So - you won’t buy any presents for anyone.”

“I already told you - I don’t do Christmas.”

“Right. But you’re still here Christmas shopping with me.” Jared smiles.

“Right. It’s already a big deal. So, don’t push it!”

“Okay. Then what’s next?”

‘I’m hungry. You?”

“Starving!”

“What about McDonald’s?”

“What? Are you serious?” Jared can’t remember the last time he had fast food in McDonald’s.

Ross laughs.

“Stop being such a hardtack!”

“I’m not a teenager anymore and I’m an actor. I have to look after myself to stay in the business.”

“You deserve some guilty-pleasure after those long hours of shopping. Besides, your body is perfect.”

Ross says and takes Jared by his hand. Jared smiles and follows Ross.

They eat Big Macs and drink cola. Mayo and ketchup all over their lips, cheeks and chins. They laugh and speak loudly in clear southern accents. A few times someone comes up to them to ask Jared if he is Jared Padalecki. Ross reacts by looking confused and asking Jared.

“Billy Bob have they all gone crazy? Who the fuck is that Jason Palapecki?”

That makes Sam Winchester’s fans leave fast.

After they’re full, Jared asks.

“My place?”

“Not just yet. We must go somewhere before that. I’ll drive.”

Jared hesitates.

“Oh, come on. I made you happy; I went Christmas shopping with you. Now you must make me happy.”

Jared can’t say “no” to that. They really spent the whole afternoon together talking, finding out more about each other. And that’s exactly what Jared wanted, exactly why he proposed this one-week-no-fucking bet. And even though he’s Ross today he didn’t try to seduce Jared even once.

“Okay.” Jared finally gives Ross his car keys.

After a few minutes he parks the car at… a sex shop!

Jared looks at Ross. Right. He must have been crazy imagining that they could go a day without sex.

“No.” He says sharply.

“Yes.” Ross says firmly.

“Why do you always have to spoil everything?” Jared seems sad.

“It was a bet Jared. I have every right to try to win this.”

“Fuck, couldn’t you just lose this one time?”

“Oh, come on. You haven’t lost it yet. And it’s not like I’m taking you to a roadside hotel. It’s a sex shop. And you wanted to buy me some tight underwear, remember?”

“You took me here to buy you underwear?”

When Jared proposed to buy some funny briefs with smilies and rainbows in the Walmart, Ross refused.

“Well, not just underwear… You’ll see. Just get over yourself and come with me.”

Jared feels it, predicts it will be another sexual torture. He looks at Ross. After all, the best things are worth serious fights.

As if he could read his thoughts Ross says.

“Come on. It’s the end of day four. You are half way through.” He smiles. “And the best things in the world are usually marked with fighting and longing for them to come.”

“Best things?” Jared smiles. Ross said out loud exactly what Jared was thinking. “Are you that “best thing”?”

“We are.”

Ross says it so quietly that Jared is not sure he really heard it or if he imagined it. Before he can say anything, Ross is out of the car and heading to the sex shop. All Jared can do is follow.

“Hello.” Ross greets the shop girl who’s all dressed up in leather. Ross looks back at Jared. “We should buy one of those.” He says about the shop girl’s outfit.

Jared just sighs deeply. Actually he’s never been to sex shop before.

Ross approaches a stand and picks up a box of something.

“Mhmmm… Condoms.” He smiles. “In all colors of the rainbow. We must try all of them.”

Ross puts the pack into Jared’s hands.

“Not today.” Jared puts the box back.

“What a buzz killer you are.” Ross laughs and takes another box. “Hey, look at this - condoms for each day of the week. Ha-ha-ha, they actually printed Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on, on each fucking condom. Isn’t that amazing?”

“Right…” Jared is not excited at all.

Ross looks closer at the box.

“No condom for Sunday! Are they fucking crazy?”

“Maybe once a week you can take a break - did it ever occur to you?”

“No. There is no such thing as too much sex. And they are completely crazy if they want to limit people to one condom per day. As I remember, we used an average of three per day. But then again I can’t be completely sure because it was so long ago…” Ross says sarcastically.

“Ha-ha-ha…” Jared says ironically with a serious face.

Ross moves forward.

“Condoms in colors of different flags. Oh, come on, who wants to fuck with a condom in the colors of the French flag. It’s such a buzz killer.”

“Why?” Jared doesn’t get it.

“You never studied French I guess and have never been to France. Those people are annoying.”

Jared laughs.

“And this I hear from a person who played a French slut in our small household scene.”

“A maid, not a slut.” Ross smiles. “And it was kind of kinky; you must admit it. You were hard instantly from that French accent and didn’t jump monsieur Smith just because you were angry.”

Jared just rolls his eyes and doesn’t answer.

“I can’t believe it - condoms that taste like fruit!” Ross takes another box and laughs out loud.

“What’s so funny?” Jared smirks.

“Oh my God… Imagine me blowing you…” Ross cracks in laughter and Jared’s cock twitches just to those four words he just said. “With a condom on!” Ross continues. “I mean – geez - who does that. I wanna taste you not some strawberry flavored rubber.”

Okay, now Jared is semi-hard.

Ross moves further. Jared swallows hard and follows him.

Ross stops at the dildo section, all sizes and colors of them.

“I feel like I’m in paradise!” Ross sighs happily.

He takes one in each hand.

“Feels so good to touch…” Ross looks at Jared. His tongue comes out of his mouth and licks his bottom lip absent-mindedly, or maybe not. He brings one dildo closer to his nose. “Even smells good. Not like plastic. Fuck I need these.”

He tries to give the dildos to Jared but he refuses to take them.

“I’m not holding those!”

“Are you serious? Jesus, Jared, you are such a hardtack!”

“No, I’m not. But I’m not touching those anyway.”

“Yeah, right. It feels so wrong to touch a dick, right?” Ross says sarcastically. “As if you don’t touch yours every morning! And I won’t even mention how much you used to like touching mine.” He laughs. “Just hold those for me while I look at others and maybe I’ll let you use one on me some day…”

The image of him pushing a dildo inside of Jensen flashes Jared suddenly. Geez, now he’s fully hard. Jared tries to calm himself down, tries to control his fucking wayward dick. Ross puts the dildos in his hands and Jared accepts them; he can’t control it. Fuck. He just hopes his hoodie is long enough and his hard on is not noticeable.

“Ohhh…” Seems like Ross hasn’t noticed anything. “Some are simple, some are vibrating. Check this out.” He pushes some button and the imitation dick starts vibrating. Right in front of Jared’s face! “Five speeds!” Ross is excited! “And it’s even bigger then you!”

“What!” Jared is irritated. “No, it’s not bigger.”

“It is, by at least two inches.”

Jared takes it in his right hand, keeping those two dildos Ross earlier gave him in his left. He looks closer at it.

“I’m at least as long as this one. And I’m thicker.”

“Ha-ha-ha, what a blower you are! You’re not thicker even when you are fully-hard. Remember I have checked it in more ways than one!”

“You must have been blind with ecstasy at those moments because you remember it wrong!”

“Blind with ecstasy? You wish.” Ross laughs. “I remember quite well how big your dick is… even though I haven’t seen it for what seems like decades…” He sighs theatrically. Then he takes a smaller dildo from the shelf. “You are more like this.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. I wasn’t that small even in sixth grade when I jerked myself off for the first time.”

“Yeah. Right.”

“Don’t laugh. I’m naturally big. It’s not as if I’m bragging or anything, it’s just true.”

“Prove it!”

“WHAT?”

“Let’s take measurements!”

“You’re crazy! I don’t need to measure it. I know how big I am. And if you’ve paid attention you know that too.”

Jared looks so serious that Ross just loses it and starts giggling out loud.

“Oh, God, Jared, just don’t tell me you’ve measured it!”

Jared stays quiet, his face serious.

“Oh, God, you have!” Ross screams out. “Fuck, I’m gonna pee myself from laughter. Turns out it’s not just myth. Some men really do that. And you… even you have done it…” Ross can’t stop laughing.

Jared blushes a little.

“Would you fucking keep it down? Everybody is looking…”

“Ha-ha-ha…” Ross just keeps laughing. “You fucking blushed, Jared.” Ross pats Jared’s cheek. “You’re so adorable.” He turns around and puts back that smaller dildo he’s been holding. “I’m gonna take those three.” He refers to the three dildos in Jared’s hands.” At least they can keep me company if your little…” He cracks in laughter again. “Oh, sorry - I meant - your big little friend is out of my reach. Hey, it gives me an idea - you should get a fleshlight.”

“Fleshlight?”

“It’s a sex toy. Jesus, Jared – did you fall off the moon? You can get those with imitation pussy, mouth or asshole. So, which one do you desire the most?”

“I don’t need an imitation of anything!”

“Why not? Your right hand will get sore if you keep working it on your dick. I mean your hand needs some back up!”

“I have my other hand, fuck you very much!”

“Really? You can jerk yourself off equally good with both hands?” Ross seems really interested.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Jared can’t believe it.

“Well, I just thought - I always use my right. Really, it goes so natural. Never even tried my left…”

He talks about it as about something as common as - what hand he uses to hold a toothbrush or something. And till today Jared thought he’s perfectly comfortable with everything when talking about sex. Yeah right – Jensen is challenging him as always. Okay, let’s play this game.

“No, it’s not as comfortable with the left as with the right. But I had my right arm broken once. I had no choice, had to learn how to use my left.”

“Oh, you poor thing.” Ross laughs. “Those few days before you discovered your left hand must have been hell…”

He bursts into laughter and goes further to other goods.

“Massage oil. Perfect.” He puts two bottles in Jared’s hands.

“Two bottles?”

“I like those two aromas, can’t choose one. And I promise; we’ll try both of them.”

Jared just sighs heavily.

“Ohh, kinky underwear!” Ross screams out happily.

“That is why you didn’t let me buy you the ones at Walmart? You really wanna buy underwear here?”

Ross takes a piece of lingerie and holds it against his body. It’s red and you can see through the pattern.

“Now imagine me in this…”

“Cross-dressing? Seriously?” Jared is laughing.

“You’re so vanilla.” Ross rolls his eyes.

Then he finds black leather briefs clearly meant for men.

“How’s that?”

And Jared makes a mistake. He really imagines. Fuck.

“I… I… Fuck…”

“See.” Ross smirks. “Now maybe you have changed your mind about those condoms in every color of the rainbow?”

“Three days.” Jared says as determined and confident as he can.

“Right.” Ross says, clear amusement in his voice. “But I can try it on now!”

“NO!”

“Why? Even if you are on a diet you can still look at the menu.”

“I said - no. No, no, no! I will buy you whatever you choose but no trying on.” _Three days, three days, three days!_ Jared repeats as a mantra in his thoughts.

Ross laughs and gives Jared at least ten pieces of clothing. He chooses them fast.

“Oh - and here are those boots. Like the ones K.I.S.S. was wearing. I wonder how they can walk in those. I must have some.

“Same as with the underwear - no trying on.”

“What? Then there is no point. How can I know they fit if I don’t try them on? I’ll buy them and then I’ll find out I can’t walk in those and…

“Don’t be delusional. You’re not buying them to walk in them. You’re buying them to make me mad, so it doesn’t matter if they fit. We’ll take the purple ones. Size twelve, right?”

Ross nods and before he can protest, Jared takes the purple boots and goes forward.

“Handcuffs!” He says. “I’m sure you will be interested in those.”

“Oh, not so vanilla after all, Jared!” Ross secretly enjoys that Jared takes the lead this time. “I’ll let you handcuff me if you let me handcuff you.” He says playing with a quirt in his hands.

Fuck. He’s gonna drive Jared crazy.

“Take one and let’s go!” Jared suddenly seems very stressed and nervous.

Ross leans closer and whispers near his face.

“Oh, you poor thing. Is your underwear wet?”

Fuck, Ross knows. But of course he knows. Jared tries to check as subtle as possible but Jensen isn’t tenting his dress pants at all. How does he do that? How does he control that?

“Don’t come just yet. I’ll show you a better place. Just wait here for a moment.”

Ross takes all the goods from Jared’s hands and brings them to the shop girl.

Jared breathes heavily. He tries his best not to come in his briefs. Oh of course he knew it all along. Another game Jensen is winning. Fuck. And Jared can’t even be mad because all he feels is the need and want. And love… Jesus, leave it to him to fall for the craziest man ever.

Ross is back. He takes Jared’s hand.

“You’ll love it. I promise. And don’t worry. I won’t make a move on you. I decided you deserve a break after what you did yesterday.”

“What?” Jared is shocked.

“You did something good for Jensen and today I’m doing something good for you. All this Christmas shopping stuff and… I didn’t use any of those many opportunities to make you lose the bet.”

Well - yeah. He was teasing all day long, but didn’t make any moves.

Jared nods.

“Well, but I’m warning you. It’s only today. And tomorrow… tomorrow is another day. But now - let’s go. I will make you come without touching you.”

And Jared follows. Of course he does.

They enter a small room with a mirror in it. There is only one comfortable leather chair in the room. Ross makes Jared sit down in it. Ross is behind Jared, whispering in his ear.

“It’s glass from one side and a mirror from the other. We can see him but he can’t see us.”

Lights go down in the room they’re in. In the other room on the other side of the mirror a guy shows up in tight jeans and a wife beater. Silent music starts and the guy starts moving very slowly and seductively.

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Ross asks close to Jared’s ear. Jared just swallows hard. “Are you hard, Jared?” Ross’ breath is tickling the sensitive skin of Jared’s neck. But he doesn’t touch Jared, not even the smallest touch.

Jared nods as an answer to Ross’ question.

“Say it!”

“I’m hard.”

“How hard are you?”

“I’m leaking.”

“Touch yourself!”

“Oh, God…” Jared gasps.

“Hold down. Just a bit… Open the zipper.”

Ross hears a zipper opening in the darkness.

“Take it out! With your left hand.”

Jared obeys.

“Now rub it, very, very slowly… Just with your left hand.”

“Oh… Jensen…”

“Look at him. He’s dancing for you.” Ross is not correcting Jared for calling him Jensen.

“Fuck…” Jared cries out.

“Lube your dick. Forget you have your right hand! Very slowly, don’t push it! Don’t let yourself come just yet!”

“Ah… God…”

“What do you feel?”

“It’s hurting… pulsating… it’s… fuck…”

“Touch the slit with your thumb!”

A long, deep moan from Jared. Shivers go through his whole body.

“Now rub it faster! Faster. Like his moves.”

The guy in the other room and Jared’s hand moves in rhythm. Jared’s left hand and Ross’ whispered encouragements are in rhythm.

“Yeah, do it, jerk it! Harder, Jared, harder!”

“I’m gonna… I’m…”

“Yes, come… Jared, come…”

“Oh, fuck!” Jared cries out and whimpers as he comes hard all over his left hand.

Yes, there was a time when he really learnt how to use his left hand for many things, including jerking off. But he can’t remember ever coming so hard by just jerking off, not even with his right hand, not even in the shower with Ross three days ago. Because this time there is some mystery, some undiscovered magic. Maybe Ross really thinks he came because of the dancing guy on the other side of the mirror but the truth is he came just from Ross’ voice.

“You need to clean yourself up!” Ross says.

His voice is strange and unexpectedly low. He puts something towel-like in Jared’s right hand.

“I… I must go to the men’s room…” Ross disappears rapidly.

After about ten minutes they are in Jared’s car. Jared suddenly doesn’t know what to say so he’s quiet and strangely, Ross is quiet too. It seems like he’s avoiding even looking at Jared.

“Will you please drop me off at my place?”

“I thought maybe… we can spend tonight at my place…”

“No! Not if you want to win the bet. Don’t you?”

“We can just… have supper and go to sleep.” Jared suggests. After all, they have spent two nights together since the bet and they still haven’t fucked.

“Not tonight.” Ross says still not looking at him.

“Why?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“I can’t.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re not the only one…” Ross whispers. “Just take me home.”

Jared sighs, and obeys.

He parks at Sophia’s big mansion. Ross turns to open the door but Jared stops him by putting his hand on Ross’ wrist.

“Thank you.” He says.

“For what?”

Jared takes Ross’ chin and turns his face to look at Jared.

“For everything.” He says quietly but very seriously. “For today, for yesterday, even for day before yesterday. For tomorrow even though you will somehow manage to push me away again - I’m sure of it. But I won’t give up, okay? I won’t give up, Jensen!”

Jensen wants to correct Jared and say that he is Ross, but Jared knows better and Jensen just stays silent. He gets out of the car, shopping bags in his hands. He runs into the house. Jared sits there for some time, even after the doors have closed behind Jensen, before driving away.

 


	21. Chapter 21

It’s December twenty-second. Chad and Kitty are arriving today.

Jared hasn’t slept all night.

So many thoughts, memories. Jensen is there each time he closes his eyes.

Jared wants to call him. Make sure he is alright. But he knows he can’t. It would make everything worse. Fuck, what actually happened? Ross gave him the biggest fucking orgasm of his life without even touching him and then he instantly changed from Ross to Jensen. Why?

Today is not marked on the Fucking Calendar. Good excuse for Jensen to not see Jared today at all. But then again yesterday while still being Ross he promised to try to seduce him today. Jared can only hope for that. He gets up and takes a shower. After jerking himself off to memories of Ross’ whispers in his ear yesterday, Jared gets dressed and drives to the set. Sophia is there. Jared asks her if everything’s alright with Jensen and Sophia says that he is Mister Smith today and that he seemed fine this morning when she saw him. That calms Jared down a bit.

The afternoon is free for Jared. He must go to the airport to pick up Chad and Kitty. But first he makes a stop at home to take a shower and change. Shooting was intense and Jared feels tired after a night without sleep.

When he opens the front door, he is there. Mister Smith.

“Hi, Mr. Padalecki!” He says and before Jared can say anything, Mister Smith crashes his lips on Jared’s, pushing him into the wall of the house. At first there is no reaction from Jared but soon he’s kissing back, instinctively opening his mouth to let Mister Smith’s tongue in. He is here and he is kissing Jared. All other thoughts just disappear like smoke in the wind.

But something catches Jared’s attention. Something around his wrist, something…

Jared interrupts the kiss breathing heavily and looks down at his hand. Handcuffs. Before he can make any movement, Mister Smith closes the other handcuff around his own wrist.

“What the…” Jared starts.

“You won’t escape me, baby!” Mister Smith says and puts his hand on Jared’s crotch.

Jared stops him with his right hand because his left is handcuffed with Mister Smith’s right hand.

“Where is the key?” Jared is angry.

Another game of course. More of a backstabbing move than ever before. And Jensen is sending Mister Smith to do the dirty work.

“We don’t need keys. Not now.” Mister Smith tries to kiss him again but Jared turns his face away.

“Give me the key. I must go to the airport to pick Chad up.”

“He can take a taxi. But we can…”

“No, we can’t. I won’t give in to whatever dirty moves you make…”

“Dirty…” Mister Smith says it as a deep, long moan. “It makes me hard when you say that word.”

“Stop it! Jeez, Mister Smith…”

“Dir-ty! Repeat after me…” Mister Smith bites Jared’s neck and Jared shivers from pain and overwhelming pleasure.

Great. Now he’s hard. Fuck.

Jared puts together all his willpower and pushes Mister Smith as far away as he can.

“Where is the key?”

“Who knows.”

“Don’t play with me. I must go to the airport. And nothing will happen whatever you do. Even if we’re in handcuffs I won’t make a move on you. Not till the week is over. So you’d better give me the key.”

“Are you sure you will be able to not make a move on me? When I’m so close? When we’re joined?” Mister Smith moves closer to Jared, his body rubbing against Jared’s.

“Stop! Stop it! I am strong enough. Trust me. And I’m angry.”

“Angry? For what? I can feel how much you’re enjoying all this!”

“It is an unfair move and you know it very well.”

“Unfair? I don’t see anything unfair about it. When we made a bet part of it was - I can try to seduce you any way I can think of.”

“But not this! You tricked me; you handcuffed us without my permission.”

“Fuck. So you say I had to ask permission first. Right! As if you’d ever give me it.”

“After this week is over I’ll give you permission and you know it. I have never said “no” to any of your suggestions during sex.”

“Okay, as you wish.” Mister Smith is clearly angry now. “Take the key!”

“Where is it?”

“In my underwear.”

“WHAT?”

“Right between my butt cheeks. Take it!” He’s daring Jared.

Jared sighs.

“What are you waiting for? Take it!” Mister Smith demands.

Fuck!

“No! Just give it to me.”

“Sorry, Mr. Padalecki. It would be too easy to just give it to you. Take it yourself. You just told me you were strong enough. You wouldn’t jump on me just because I’m so close and we’re handcuffed. Prove it!”

Jared reaches his hand but stops it.

“I can’t…”

Jared knows - if he slips his hand under Mister Smith`s dress pants, under his silky briefs; gentle skin, so warm and tender under his touch…

Fuck. His dick is leaking now. He won’t be able to stop. What the fuck is Jensen doing to him? He has made Jared a sex addict. Even when he was a teenager he wasn’t wearing hard-on’s as often as now.

“Jensen, please. Just give me the key so we can go to the airport.” Jared is begging.

“You want me to go with you?” Mister Smith is shocked.

“I want you to meet Chad. And I want to spent time with you - any time I can get. You know that.” Jared says seriously.

“But no sex?”

“Not till this week is over.”

“You never asked me to go to the airport with you before…”

Is it really Mister Smith? Or not anymore?

“You wanted to go?” Now Jared is shocked.

Mister Smith doesn’t say anything.

“I just thought…” Jared doesn’t know what to say. “I’m an idiot, okay? I thought you didn’t want to go, didn’t want to meet my friends and stuff like that. You have stated it like a million times and I just…”

“Whatever.” Mister Smith reaches his hand under his pants between him ass cheeks and takes the key out. “I’m busy anyway.”

“What?” Jared asks as he is unlocking the handcuffs. “You’re not busy. And you wanna go to the airport with me so let’s go.”

“No, I don’t!” Jensen says like a little spoiled princess while he takes his hand out of the handcuff, leaving the key still in the lock and the other handcuff still around Jared’s wrist. He turns around and goes to his car.

“Where are you going?”

Jared follows him.

“It’s not your fucking business. You have to go to the airport so just go.”

“Not without you.”

“I told you - I’m not going.”

“You are!”

“No! Just leave me alone. I understand. I’m not good enough, normal enough to meet your best friend…”

Jared grabs his arms and pushes Jensen around to face him.

“Shut up! You’re talking nonsense. Of course you are good enough. I was just an idiot. That’s why I didn’t ask you to come with me. But I’m asking now, okay?”

“It’s too late. You’re doing it now just because I forced you to.”

“Jesus, Jensen - why must everything be so complicated with you? Why can’t you just accept that I want you in my life but I’m still not perfect and I’m still gonna fuck up like any other man.”

“You’re not just any other man. You just… Don’t worry - I’m not mad. I understand. And we’re just fuck buddies. We’re not in a relationship, we’re not even friends…”

Jared shuts him up by devouring his mouth with his own. It’s strong and wet, as if Jared is trying to make Jensen understand that he is the man of the house, he is in control even though Jensen likes to think it’s the other way around. Jensen is so lost in the kiss that he doesn’t feel Jared putting the handcuff back around his right wrist. But he hears the “click”. It makes him wake up from this mind-blowing kiss. Pulling away from Jared’s mouth he screams.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He’s angry because this time Jared tricked him.

“I just told you - we’re going together.”

“Unlock it. Immediately!” He orders.

Jared has no intention of obeying. He just smirks.

“Give me the key! Now!” Jensen is desperate.

“No!”

Jensen tries to get it from Jared. The key is in Jared’s right hand. They fight, Jensen is screaming, Jared is trying not to lose the key. They fall on the ground in Jared’s courtyard. Jensen is trying to reach Jared’s right hand, Jared is holding it above his head as far from Jensen’s reach as he can. And then he suddenly drops it. There is a manhole with a grate covering it. The key falls through the hole of the grate and disappears in the drain.

“The key!” Jensen screams. “Fuck, you lost it, idiot!”

“It’s because of you. You tried to get it!”

Jensen hits Jared’s chest.

“Fuck you! I won’t stay handcuffed to you. I won’t…”

He tries to get away from Jared, get up, but the handcuffs are not letting him. He falls back down right on top of Jared.

“I hate you!” He screams.

“Shut up! It was your fault. You started this handcuff game.”

“But you were the one who lost the fucking key!”

“Shit! It’s late. I must go to the airport.”

“I don’t care. We have to go to the shop. They must have a duplicate key.”

“After the airport!”

“No! Now!”

“I said after and it will be after!”

Jared tries to get up, but Jensen won’t let him.

“What the fuck?”

“I won’t let you get up until you promise to go to the shop straight away!”

“I can promise you that but it would be lie!”

“Then we’ll stay here!”

“No! We’re going to the airport.”

“No, we’re not!”

They are both so stubborn.

“Okay! Don’t say I never gave you a chance to do it peacefully.”

“What?”

“I’m stronger physically. Remember our hot action scene in Hew’s office? I feel like it’s time to use my superior strength.”

“You won’t dare…”

But Jared does. He gets up and pulls Mister Smith up with him.

“Let’s go!”

Mister Smith uses all his strength and tries not to move but Jared is stronger. He pulls him forward.

“Ouch!” He screams because his wrist is hurting.

“I warned you!” Jared reminds him.

“You’re an ass!”

“Yeah, right! I have only one question – do you want me because I’m an ass or am I an ass because I’m with you?”

“Idiot! Jerk! Fucking son of the bitch!”

Jared just laughs.

“You know you are sexy when you are mad!”

Bad choice of words.

Mister Smith’s face changes, a seductive smile appears on his lips.

“So - I’m sexy?”

“Don’t even start!” Jared is irritated.

He goes to the driver’s seat.

“Get in!”

He doesn’t move.

Jared looks back at him. A firm smirk is on Mister Smith’s face.

“What?”

He puts his hand out as if asking for something.

Jared raises an eyebrow firmly.

Mister Smith looks down at the handcuffs.

“How are you intending to drive if I’m cuffed to your left side? We’re not living in Britain.”

And instantly it strikes Jared. Fuck. If he’s in the driver’s seat, there is no way Mister Smith can be in the other seat next to him. The only possibility is Mister Smith driving.

“I’m still waiting!” Mister Smith is smiling.

“No way am I giving you the car keys. You will drive straight to the sex shop!”

Mister Smith laughs.

“Now you see, big boy. These games are not for amateurs like you. You will lose this!”

“Fuck you!”

Jared hesitates for a moment and then a firm smirk spreads over his lips.

“Get in!”

“Keys?”

“Just get in!”

“You must get in first and move to the other seat.”

“No, I don’t. Get in!”

Mister Smith hesitates but then does as told.

“Now move to the backseat!”

“What!”

Fuck. Jared is smart.

“No way am I moving to the back seat.”

“No way am I giving you the car keys.”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too.”

He hisses something unintelligible and moves to the backseat. Jared gets in the driver’s seat. His left hand is almost behind him on the top of his seat.

“And how are you going to manage it - driving with one hand?”

“I told you - I’m good with my right hand.”

“Driving is not the same as jerking off.”

“No it’s not. So I don’t ever try driving just with my left.”

There is silence for a moment. Jared starts the car and drives on to the road. He was right. He can drive perfectly with just his right hand.

“You know – the airport is full of people.” Jensen breaks the silence.

“So what?”

“Someone will recognize you. And see the handcuffs.”

“I will act as Billy Bob from Dallas who happens to be married to a crazy man.”

“Sweet. I will tell everyone that you are actually Jared Padalecki.”

“And I will tell them that you are Sophia Bush’s PA. I’m sure it would be great advertising for Sophia, don’t you think so!”

“You are a real piece of shit!”

“And you’re handcuffed to me so I guess you smell too…”

Silence again.

“What will you say to Chad?” Jensen breaks the silence again.

“Nothing.”

“But he will see the handcuffs!”

“He knows you are crazy. He won’t ask!”

“You told him I’m crazy?” Jensen is screaming again.

“Just told him some stuff you have done and he made his own conclusion.”

“Stop the car!”

“What?”

“Stop the car. I won’t go to the airport. I can’t believe he thinks I’m crazy.”

He doesn’t sound mad anymore. More like worried and… embarrassed. Only because of that does Jared stop the car.

He turns his head and looks at Jensen.

“Listen to me – he’ll like you. Chad already likes you.”

“No! He thinks I’m crazy.”

“Normal is overrated!” Jared smiles. “Besides he has noticed how much you have changed me. And he’s happy about it.”

“I have changed you?”

“Geez, Jensen, of course you have. When we first met I was scared to take sunglasses and a hat off in the public and yesterday I was shopping in the Walmart with no glasses or hat.”

“You really were afraid… to take those glasses off?”

“Yeah.” Jared looks away.

“Sorry I pushed you.”

“It’s okay. I needed a push.”

Silence again.

“So - you really think Chad will… I mean.”

“He will like you. Hell, he already does.” Jared smiles. “Actually when I complain about you he takes your side.”

“He does?”

“You think you are his fan? Well the truth is, he’s kind of yours too…”

Jensen smiles a little.

“Okay. Let’s go. We’re already late.”


	22. Chapter 22

They struggle for about five minutes before getting out of the car at the airport. They are back to fighting.

“I hit my leg and it’s because of you!”

“Stop whining. You started playing with handcuffs not me. Let’s go.”

Jared pulls Jensen forward so unexpectedly that he almost falls.

“Arrogant bastard!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever!”

Jared moves fast and Jensen tries to follow because he has no other option.

“We’re lucky - the plane is late. It just landed.”

“Yeah, I feel it. I’m so fucking lucky!”

Jensen tries to scratch his nose with his right hand but Jared pulls him strongly forward to the landing gate.

“Idiot!” Jensen shouts.

Some people notice the handcuffs but Jared and Jensen ignore them.

“Are you Jared Padalecki?” Someone suddenly asks.

“I’m sorry I’m not who you think I am!” Jared says and moves forward taking Jensen with him.

“But you are Jared Padalecki!”

A Brunette follows them.

“And you’re… handcuffed!” She’s shocked.

“Sorry, Miss but I’m really not…”

“Yes, he is Jared Padalecki.” Jensen interrupts.

Jared turns to Jensen with an ice cold look.

Jensen just smiles.

“We’re shooting a new movie. Mister Padalecki, Jared is a convict and I’m playing the police officer.”

“Movie? Here?” The brunette is so excited. “But I don’t see the cameras.”

“Fifty hidden cameras all around the terminal. Experimental project. You know - independent cinema.” Jensen replies easily.

“Wow, it’s so exciting!” The brunette looks around as if trying to find the cameras. “Are they shooting now?”

“Yeah, they’re shooting all the time. I’m almost sure you will be in the movie too.”

“Me? In the movie! With Sam Winchester. That’s so amazing.”

“Yeah, but… We must keep going or we’re gonna ruin our scene.” Jared joins the conversation.

“Right. Of course. The scene.”

“Excuse us.”

And Jensen moves away taking Jared with him. They go in silence and stop at the right landing gate.

“Thanks.” Jared suddenly says.

Jensen turns his head to look at Jared.

“You’re welcome.”

And they stand there lost in each other’s eyes when suddenly someone interrupts them.

“Jay-bird!”

Jared and Jensen turn to the voice and there he is. Chad Michael Murray. Hiding behind glasses and a baseball hat.

“Chad!” Jared is happy. He puts his arms around Chad to hug him and pulls Jensen along. “How was the flight?”

“Quite comfortable.”

Chad pulls out of the hug and looks at Jensen. His patented smirk spreads across his face.

“Mister Smith I presume?”

He asks. Jensen is like hypnotized. He just nods.

Chad looks at Jared and he just smiles.

“Looks like he has lost his voice. That must be the first time. Anyway, I’m glad to meet you at last, Mister Smith!”

And Chad hugs him. It shocks even Jared. It’s not like Chad is anti-social but really, he usually doesn’t hug people at the first meeting. Unless they of course are beautiful women.

“Jensen…” Jensen says his first words to Chad at last. “Call me Jensen.”

“Okay, if you call me Chad.”

“Okay.”

They stop hugging.

“I guess I better not bother asking why the fuck you two are handcuffed?” Chad smirks.

“It’s his fault!”

“It’s his fault!”

Jared and Jensen say at the same time.

“You even talk in unison!” Chad laughs. “This really is serious.”

“Yeah, right, smartass. Where is Kitty?”

Chad ’s face changes, there is no smile on it anymore. His eyes are sad.

“She couldn’t come. Work.”

Chad says and Jared knows better than to ask anything more.

“Okay, let’s go and get your luggage then.”

After about ten minutes they’re in Jared’s car. The word war between Jensen and Jared is on again. It started when Jensen refused to get in the back seat again and made Jared let him drive.

“No way I’m getting in a car with you again when you’re driving with just one hand. You were driving like a maniac to the airport.”

“It was just because we were late. But I was still driving better than when you drive with two hands.”

“Yeah, right.” Jensen laughs.” Yesterday morning you couldn’t catch me!”

“You were riding a BIKE! Of course I couldn’t catch you!”

Chad just can’t stop smiling. Those two together are an explosion.

“Pretexts, pretexts…”

“I can prove I drive better. We can have a race.”

“On bikes?” Jensen asks.

Jared is suddenly very serious. His eyes meet Chad’s gaze in the rearview mirror of the car. Only Chad knows that since that motorcycle crash a year ago Jared has never ridden a bike again.

“No, cars.” Jared answers.

“So you basically admit that I’m better on the bike than you are?”

“I’m not admitting anything.”

“But you’re still not ready to race on the bikes?”

Jared is quiet.

“Have you even ridden a bike since… the crash?”

_ Fuck, how does he know? _

Jared swallows hard.

“He hasn’t.” Chad suddenly says from back the seat.

“Shut up, Chad.” Jared is angry.

“Sorry, man. I just think he needs to know. You told me you wanted to know more about him. I think it’s just fair for him to know more about you too. And the truth is - you’re not much of a sharer…”

“Wow.” Jensen says.

“What?” Jared and Chad ask in duet.

“Jared told me you would take my side. I thought he was just trying to calm me down but… You actually did.”

Chad smiles. Jared relaxes.

Silence for a moment again.

“If someday I ask you to go for a ride on my bike… will you?” Jensen suddenly asks.

“Maybe…” Jared says after a while.

Chad is smiling again on the back seat.

Jensen drives to the sex shop.

Word battles start again because Jensen almost crashes into the back of another car while looking at Jared. To turn the wheel he pulls Jared’s left hand hard because of the handcuffs.

“Ouch!” Jared screams. “Slow down! I don’t wanna die just yet!”

“Shut up! I’m trying to set us free as fast as possible. The sooner we get to the sex shop the sooner I’ll be free from you.”

“Oh, guys.” Chad laughs. “How long have you two been married?” He asks ironically still laughing.

“Married?” Jared and Jensen ask in unison.

“You’re crazy, Chad. I would never marry him!”

“And I would never marry him!” Jensen shudders.

Chad giggles.

“Watch it!” Jared points at the bicyclist on the side of the road.

“I’m not fucking blind!” Jensen answers sharply. “You’re so annoying.”

“I’m just trying to save people from getting killed by your crazy driving!”

“Ha-ha, how hilarious!”

They’re still fighting when Jensen parks the car at the sex shop. Chad just can’t stop laughing.

Jensen opens the door and tries to get out. But he can’t do it without Jared.

“Will you hurry up, asshole? I gotta pee!”

“Patience is a virtue.”

“… which I don’t possess when I’m seconds away from wetting my pants.”

“Okay, okay!”

Jared gets out of the car as fast as he can. Jensen is almost dancing because he really needs to pee badly. Chad gets out of the car too.

They all enter the sex shop. Jensen leads the way. Jared has joined Chad in giggling.

“Shut up. Both of you!” Jensen is angry.

He almost drags Jared to the shop girl. She’s not the one from yesterday. This one is wearing a cheerleader’s uniform.

“Hey! We bought handcuffs yesterday. And we lost the key.” Jensen puts his right hand in the air to show the blonde girl that he is handcuffed to Jared.

“Oh, I see.” Girl says. “Those things happen.”

“Thank God!” Jensen says. “So do you have the duplicate key?”

“No, we don’t. All keys are unique. Serious stuff. Real kink.” She smiles.

“What?” Jared and Jensen say in unison.

“I will give you a business card of the locksmith. He’ll help.”

“Great.” Jensen is angry. “Can I at least use the men’s room?”

“Yes, of course.”

Jensen drags Jared to the men’s room. But then he stops at the door and hesitates.

Fuck.

“What?” Jared asks.

“I can’t?”

“You can’t what?”

“Pee.”

“I thought you needed to. Badly.”

“I do. But I can’t when you’re watching.”

“I won’t.”

“But…”

“Come on, Jensen. I have seen you naked, basically touched you everywhere. It’s not a big deal.”

Jared opens the door and goes into men’s room taking Jensen with him.

Chad stays outside giggling as quietly as he can.

It’s awkward in more ways than one. Jensen is giving Jared suspicious looks.

“Don’t watch!”

“I’m not.”

“Turn away.”

Jared turns his head away.

“No, step away as far as you can!”

Jared rolls his eyes but complies.

Silence. No sound that would indicate that Jensen is peeing.

“What’s taking you so long?”

“I can’t take it out with just one hand…”

“For crying out loud, Jensen…”

Jared steps closer but still is facing the wall.

“Use both hands.”

Jared can hear a zipper opening. Jensen struggling with his tight boxer briefs.

Jared waits, still no sound that would indicate that Jensen is finally relieving himself.

“Just fucking relax and pee already. I can barely breathe here in this small space.”

Jared is stuck between Jensen, the wall and smelly urinals.

He feels more claustrophobic than ever.

“I’m trying!”

“Try harder!”

“Don’t push me!”

“Jensen, seriously, it’s getting harder and harder to breathe…”

“Okay, okay…”

Silence again.

“Jensen…”

“Shut up! It won’t happen faster if you keep talking!”

“Alright, alright…”

Silence again. Jared’s breath is getting flatter.

And at last the sounds indicating that he is peeing. Those sounds don’t stop for a while.

“Jeez, Jensen, how many gallons did you just pee?”

“Shut up! I said I needed to badly, for a long time. And it’s all your fault.”

“I can’t believe you’re still blaming me!”

Jared gets angry and absent-mindedly turns around.

“Turn away!” Jensen screams.

“Okay, okay, just stop screaming.”

Jensen finally puts himself back in and zips his pants. He flushes and pulls Jared to the sinks.

Jared’s breathing steadies.

“Feeling better?” Jared asks.

“A-ha.” Jensen says as he washes his hands.

“You?

“A-ha.” Jared answers the same way Jensen just did.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long since you’ve been having panic attacks in small, closed spaces?”

“Ever since I can remember. My parents think it is because sisters from Sunday school used to lock me in a small dark room as punishment.”

“That’s shitty.”

“Yeah.”

Silence for a moment.

“Chad is waiting.”

“Yeah…” Jared agrees and they leave the men’s room.

Outside another battle take place about who’s driving.

“No way am I getting in the back seat!”

“No way am I letting you drive again!”

“I’ll drive.” Chad interrupts them. “If that’s okay.”

Jared and Jensen exchange looks and both nod.

They get in the backseat fighting all the way.

“Take Central Avenue!” Jared recommends to Chad who doesn’t know Los Angeles so well.

“No Central will be crowded at this time. Better use Santa Monica freeway.”

“No way - it would be faster by Central.”

“We would be stuck in a jam.”

“Jesus, guys, just make a decision already or we’ll stay here forever.”

“Central!” Jared doesn’t change his mind.

“Whatever the blockhead says…”

After half an hour they’re stuck in a traffic jam on Central.

“I told you but you didn’t listen.”

“Shut up!” Jared is frustrated.

Chad just giggles again.

“Yeah, mister blockhead can’t accept that he was wrong.”

“I’m not a prophesier. Who knew there would be that fucking accident!”

“If you had listened to what I said we would have been set free from these stupid handcuffs like an hour ago.”

“Don’t exaggerate. We’ve been stuck here no longer then fifteen minutes.”

“More like half an hour.”

“Could you be anymore insufferable? No, no, don’t answer. I don’t wanna tempt you!”

“Oh, fuck you Jared.”

Jensen’s cell phone rings. He answers.

“Hey, Soph. Yeah, sorry, I’m stuck… What… How? No, don’t do anything. I will be there in a minute.”

He ends the conversation.

“What?” Jared asks.

“Problems with the Christmas concerts. Chad, please take a left turn on the first side street as soon as you can.”

Chad just nods. But Jared wants to know.

“What concerts?”

“Sophia is having two Christmas concerts on 24th. She is in a rehearsal and it looks like there are some problems. We rented a ballroom but they say it’s not fire proof. They’re not allowing concerts there. They want Sophia to cancel them.”

“But the handcuffs?”

“I can’t lose a second. Those guys from the fire department won’t wait.”

“And even if you catch them - what’s the point if they wanna shut the ballroom anyway?”

“It’s my job to make them change their mind.” Jensen simply says while Chad makes a turn onto the side street.

 


	23. Chapter 23

They stop at the ballroom after about twenty minutes. Jensen’s leading the way with Jared and Chad following.

Sophia meets them at the entrance. She’s clearly nervous.

“They said I have to cancel the concerts. Jeff is not responding. I don’t know what to do Jensen. They won’t listen, they don’t care the concerts are for charity. Those kids and old people – they’ll be disappointed and…”

“Calm down, Soph. I know how much those concerts mean to you. We’ll take care of it, okay? Just calm down.”

“Hey.” Jared says.

Just now Sophia notices Chad behind Jared’s back and…

“You’re handcuffed!” Sophia is shocked. “What the fuck?”

“Long story.” Jared answers. “Sophia, I want you to meet Chad. Chad, this is Sophia Bush.”

Chad holds out his hand and Sophia shakes it.

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually shaking Chad Michael Murray’s hand.” Sophia is excited.

“And I can’t believe I’m shaking Sophia Bush’s hand. I’m a fan.”

“You - mine? I mean, Jared already knows how much I loved “Supernatural” and…”

“Guys, lets save the pleasantries for later.” Jensen interrupts them. “We have some stuff to do. How do I look?”

Sophia leans closer, then reaches and arranges Jensen’s wayward hair.

“Where are your glasses?”

“I’m wearing contacts today.”

“Okay. You look perfect!”

“Don’t lie, Soph. I know I’m far from perfect. This was a messy day.” He looks at Jared for a moment. “But I guess I look good enough to talk with the firemen.”

“They’re not real firemen. Unfortunately.” Sophia says.

Jensen smirks.

“Yeah, unfortunately life is not a porno. Gay or straight?”

“The oldest one is straight. He was looking at my breasts the entire time.”

“And the other?”  
“He barely looked at me. But I’m not sure, I don’t think he’s gay.”

“Closeted.” Jensen concludes.

Sophia laughs and Jensen is smirking in his own patented way.

Jared exchange looks with Chad. He’s never seen Jensen and Sophia together actually. They really do have a special connection, an indescribable chemistry. If feels so warm to watch those two. And it feels so familiar because Jared shares the same closeness with Chad.

“Now, listen Soph, I need you to do something.”

“What?”

“Where is your lipstick? Pull your skirt higher. More! Yeah, that will do. And your cleavage lower. Push your bra up! Yeah, good! You take the straight one, I’ll take the closeted. Now introduce me to them!”

Sophia leads as the other three follow. She opens the door to a staff room and there are two men sitting at the table. They get up from their seats.

“Miss Bush.” The oldest of the two men says. “We really can’t wait any longer.”

“Mr. Forest, I want to introduce you to Mister Smith. He administrates the concerts.”

Jensen tries to hold out his hand to greet Mr. Forest, but it’s awkward because his right hand is handcuffed to Jared’s left.

Mr. Forest exchanges looks with his partner – a younger but bald man and hesitates a little but shakes Mister Smith’s hand anyway.

“I’m sorry for the handcuffs. Just some performance for the concerts went a bit wrong and keys haven’t been delivered yet.” Mister Smith says so confidently and seriously as if going around handcuffed to somebody is a common, everyday thing for him.

“I see.” Mr. Forest says. “Mister Smith, this is my partner Mr. Dunham.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Dunham.”

Jensen extends his hand again and this time Jared is ready to move his hand too so it’s not so awkward anymore.

Mr. Dunham shakes Jensen’s hand and doesn’t let go of it for a bit longer than necessary. Mister Smith licks his lips. Jared recognizes this, his little tricks.

“It’s so hot in here.” He fans his face with movements of his left hand. “Don’t you think so, Mr. Dunham.”

Geez, he is fucking flirting.

“I don’t know… Mister…”

“Smith. Mister Jensen Smith.” Jensen says confidently to Mr. Dunham who is blushing.

Jared suddenly feels an urge to hit that bald guy in the face.

“Mister Smith, our time is limited…” Mr. Forest interrupts.

“It won’t take long!” Mister Smith says and nods to Sophia.  “Please take your seats.” He says so surely that the two guys obey.

Jensen takes a seat on the other side of the table. Jared sits next to him.

“Mr. Murray and Miss Bush, will you please join us.” He invites them.

“Sure, Mister Smith.” Sophia answers and takes a chair at the end of the table next to Mr. Forest.

Chad sits next to Jared.

“So, gentlemen - let me tell you about these concerts and how important they are.”

“I’m sure they’re important but…”

“Mr. Forest, let me just finish what I have to say. I promise it won’t take longer than five minutes of your time.”

“Yes, of course, Mister Smith, please continue.” Mr. Dunham shoots Mr. Forest a strong look.

“These concerts are special ones. Charity concerts against the discrimination of homosexual people.”

“You mean the concerts really are for fags?” Mr. Forest seems disgusted.

Chad , Sophia and Jared exchange looks. They didn’t like the man before but now they really hate that asshole.

“Queers, Mr. Forest. The right word is queers. Just like you never call Afro-Americans niggers. It’s discrimination, Mr. Forest.”

“Whatever you call those people, discrimination has nothing to do with fire-safety or in this case, the lack thereof.”

“I see that you are an honest and fair man, Mr. Forest. And I would never doubt that you make your decisions about fire-safety purely based on professional and objective reasons, never on personal. I’m sure Miss Bush agrees with my opinion.”

Sophia nods and smiles at Mr. Forrest, leaning closer to the table, showing her cleavage. Jensen smiles a bit, but straightens his face immediately. Jared is staring at Jensen; Chad is staring at Sophia’s breasts.

“I’m glad we understand each other.” Mr. Forest says, finally looking away from Sophia.

“Me too, Mr. Forest. But you know how easy opinions can change. May I introduce you to Mr. Padalecki here? He is really looking forward to performing in these concerts. And I believe he is not as convinced about your professionalism and good intentions concerning the concerts. You know Mr. Padalecki is a bisexual. And he’s popular all around the world, an idol of homosexuals everywhere. When Mr. Padalecki is frustrated his friends get frustrated to. And Miss Bush is a friend, a very loyal friend as I may add. Her opinion about your honesty can change in the blink of an eye if Mr. Padalecki decides to change his, if you know what I mean. And there is this thing with Miss Bush, when she gets frustrated with something; she writes songs about the things that frustrate her. I believe “Forest” rhymes with “dishonest”.”

Sophia nods enthusiastically.

“I beg your pardon!” Mr. Forest is shocked.

“And then I want to introduce you to Mr. Murray here. I’m sure you know him from the most successful TV show running its third season this year. “One tree hill”. He used to play one of the main characters on the highly rated and critically acclaimed TV show “Supernatural” with Mr. Padalecki. It still has a steady fan base of homosexuals because of its homoerotic content. And he has come to Los Angelesespecially for these Christmas concerts. If the concerts were canceled I’m sure it would make him so frustrated that he could give some interviews to the tabloids. They would be truly shocked about the discrimination of homosexuals in Los Angeles!”

“How dare you…” Mr. Forest screams.

“Harry, please.” Mr. Dunham stops him. “Mister Smith, discrimination has nothing to do with this. We didn’t even know the theme of those concerts when we decided to cancel them.”

“Mr. Dunham, I understand that. I really do. But as I said, the gay community is distrustful. They have been discriminated all their lives and they take things very personally. Mr. Padalecki here knows it very well.” Jensen looks at Jared for a moment.

Jared is staring at him, hypnotized.

“But Mr. Jared Padalecki and Mr. Chad Michael Murray made their acting carrier in Hollywood by playing the main characters in the most popular homo erotic show “Supernatural.” It had six seasons and was sold to more than fifty countries all around the world. By the way, there is another project in production where Mr. Padalecki is playing a homosexual. Miss Bush is on that project too. This time it’s on the big screen. You know what this means, interviews in magazines and TV, premiers, Oprah… Mr. Padalecki is more than just an idol for the gay community; he’s like a flag man, a sex symbol. It’s a lot of power, and a big influence.”

“Okay, I understand where you are going Mister Smith.” Mr. Dunham says. “What do you want?”

“Concerts. Just say what we have to do to make those concerts happen with the blessing of the fire-safety department and I promise Miss Bush, Mr. Murray and Mr. Padalecki here won’t forget to say in public how supportive your fire-safety department is to the gay community.”

“Okay, Mister Smith. I will give you the list of things that have to be done and tomorrow I will send a colleague to check if everything is okay and take permission papers.

“Good. And call me Jensen please…”

About twenty minutes later Mr. Forest, blushing from anger and Mr. Dunham, after shaking Jensen’s hand for an unnecessarily long time leave the ballroom. Jared immediately cups Jensen’s face in his hand and kisses him strong and tender at the same time.

“You are fucking amazing!” He says excitedly.

Sophia pushes Jared out of her way and hugs Jensen strongly.

“I knew you could do it! What would I do without you?”

Jensen still can’t take his eyes off of Jared who is doing the same.

“It’s okay, Soph, no problem.”

Then he remembers Chad. He looks at him, smiling.

“I’m sorry I used you. I know I didn’t ask permission but this idea came so suddenly…”

“It’s okay.” Chad smiles. “I would have given you permission if you had asked. Jared is right, you are special.”

Mister Smith blushes. Jared’s still staring at him.

He turns away in the trademark shy Jensen way.

“Thanks.” He says shyly.

“Dinner! Our place!” Sophia proposes cheerily.

“Is it inappropriate to say that I’m starving?” Chad asks.

“No. What’s inappropriate is that you are always starving!” Jared smirks.

“As if you are the one to call me out on that!”

They all laugh.

“Handcuffs!” Jensen suddenly remembers.

“Yeah. Could anyone maybe explain why the fuck you two are in handcuffs?” Sophia is still confused.

“Sex games!” Chad laughs.

“No it was his fault!” Jensen points one finger at Jared.

“No, you bought those fucking handcuffs so it’s your fault!” Jared fights back.

And the word war is back on again. Sophia and Chad exchange understanding looks and giggle in duet.

An hour later, Jared and Jensen are free from the handcuffs. Jared said he never wants to see those handcuffs again but Jensen took them, together with the newly made keys. Jared just sighed heavily. He’s about one hundred percent sure that today wasn’t the last adventure with those handcuffs. And what the hell - truth is – the day was actually amazing!

They order in Chinese and drink French wine from Sophia’s collection. They talk about “Between my legs”, Chad’s TV show “One Tree Hill”, Sophia’s new music album and Christmas concerts. Sophia invites Jared and Chad and they happily agree to attend the concerts.

Jensen and Jared don’t stop staring at each other and exchanging smiles. They end up watching “Supernatural” season one on DVD and laughing about how different and younger Jared and Chad looked then. They all fall asleep in the living room on the couches. Sophia andChad have their own separate ones but Jensen and Jared are cuddled together on the third couch. It’s been a long day and they’re all tired. They need a good night’s sleep because the next day is a very big day - the last day of shooting before Christmas holidays and the day of _Independent Studios_ Christmas party.

 


	24. Chapter 24

When Jensen wakes up he knows that Jared is not next to him anymore. He doesn’t feel the warmth of his body, the touch of his hands, the hot air of his breath and the relaxing sounds of his snores.  
Jensen opens his eyes and looks at the clock on the furthest wall. Almost ten am. Fuck, how could he have slept so long? Sophia and Jared are long gone to the set shooting the last scenes before the Christmas holidays.  
“Good morning!” Someone suddenly interrupts Jensen’s thoughts.  
He looks up and meets Chad’s gaze.  
“They overslept and were in a hurry. Jared didn’t have time to drop me at his house. I could call a taxi but… I hoped you could drop me at Jared’s when you woke up.”  
“Yeah, sure.” Jensen feels strange being alone with Chad Michael Murray. He adored his character Dean in “Supernatural”. Dean Winchester, not Sam, was his favorite character. He was determined, persistent, strong, brave and honest, never losing his sense of humor and wit, with sexual energy surrounding him like a cloud of smoke.  
“I made coffee.” Chad is smiling. “Do you want some?”  
“Of course.” Chad’s smile is catching, Jensen smiles back to him.  
“Black?”  
“Yeah. No sugar.”  
“Great. Get to the bathroom and I will get you a cup.”  
Twenty minutes later, Jensen comes back after having brushed his teeth, taken a shower and changed his clothes and finds Chad cooking something.  
“Hope you like French omelets.”  
“Yeah, of course. Jared told me you enjoy cooking.”  
“Lately I’ve been cooking a lot, calms me down.”  
“Maybe I should try it then.”  
Chad turns around and looks at him.  
“Something tells me you have other ways of calming yourself down and making yourself live through the day.”  
Jensen blushes and just nods. There is no accusation in Chad’s voice. He just constitutes the fact that they both know.  
Chad puts a plate with an omelet in front of Jensen and puts his own plate on the other side of the table.  
“Mmmm…” Sounds of pleasure come from Jensen when he puts a spoonful of omelet in his mouth.  
Chad smiles. He’s pleased that Jensen appreciates his cooking so much. Kitty always finds problems in everything Chad does. Well, correction, found - past tense. No more of that.  
“I’m glad you like it.”  
“It’s even better than in France!”  
“You’ve been to France?”  
Silence. Jensen’s face changes instantly, he’s not so comfortable anymore.  
“It’s okay.” Chad smiles gently. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m not that big of a sharer either.”  
Jensen looks at Chad for a moment. There’s silence between them. And then he suddenly starts speaking.  
“I went to Paris on my honeymoon …” He says so quietly that it sounds almost like whisper. “I was eighteen, barely legal, and pregnant.”  
Pregnant? What the… But Chad stays silent. He lets him talk.  
“I was having morning-sickness all day and night long…” Jensen smirks a little, but it’s a sad, hurtful smirk. “My husband, Justin, he was eighteen too. We had just graduated from high school. He was in a city where he could drink legally, and well - he did. I spent most of those three weeks in the hotel suite throwing up everything I ate. Even those omelets they brought me for breakfast. I remember those were good. But - yours is much better.”  
Jensen ends his story. And he can’t look at Chad anymore. He’s got tears in his eyes remembering his only visit to Paris years ago.  
“You should go to Paris again someday, make better memories of the city and food.” Chad smiles tenderly, his voice like caress. “Because I’m quite sure they make better omelets than mine. At least I remember it like that.”  
“So, you’ve been too?”  
“Yeah, last year with Kitty. She had a convention in international politics. A week in Paris. I spent like 90 percent of the time alone. When I woke up for breakfast she was always gone. Well, it’s not so much her fault. It’s just - I’m a real sleepy head.” Chad smiles. “So I had my morning omelets alone. Anyway - they were delicious.”  
Jensen looks at Chad for some time. He seems sad and melancholy.  
“How long has it been since you broke up?” Jensen suddenly asks.  
Chad frowns, shock in his eyes.  
“How do you…”  
“I’m sorry - I don’t have the right to… I… Just forget I said…” Jensen feels bad, he feels sorry about the question he just asked.  
“Three days ago.” Chad suddenly says. “But it was leading to this for months.”  
“I’m… sorry…”  
“Yeah. Well, I guess she just wasn’t the right one!” Chad’s smile comes back even though he still looks sad. “But tell me - how did you guess? I haven’t told anyone. Not even Jared.”  
“I just… I don’t know. I had my suspicions already yesterday at the airport. When Jared asked about Kitty you looked so… sad… And now when you were talking about Paris… As if understanding something now that you didn’t understand then…”  
“Hey - you are good. You can really read people. I mean - I didn’t have doubts about it; when you took care of those problems with fire department yesterday. But now, really - you are amazing.”  
Chad is smiling.  
“And I’m glad Jared has found you.”  
Jensen blushes and smiles quietly. After a few minutes they discuss other stuff like traditional American breakfasts and smelly cheese French people enjoy eating. They laugh a lot and they are more than just comfortable in each other’s company.  
After Jensen drops Chad at Jared’s he goes to the ballroom. Sophia is busy with shooting and has to prepare for Independent Studios Christmas ball later so Jensen must take care of the last preparations for tomorrow’s charity concerts. He spends all day there and loses track of time. His cell phone rings.   
“Soph?”  
“Where the hell are you?”  
“The ballroom.”  
“Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah. And I have those fire-safety papers at last.”  
“Great, but it’s already eight o’clock.”  
“Shit. You’re already at the party.”  
“Yeah. Jared asked like ten times already where the hell you were. He couldn’t reach you on the phone.”  
“Yeah, I left it in my bag and just now checked it.”   
“Okay. I’ll tell him you’ll be here soon. Go and get dressed. Fast!”  
Sophia ends the conversation.  
Fucking Christmas party at Independent Studios. Actors, producers, directors and media. Why the fuck he’s Jensen today, he doesn’t know. It would be much easier and much more pleasant if he were Ross, Mister Smith or at least JR…  
After about an hour, Jensen parks at Independent Studios at last. He shows his invitation at the front door and enters. He’s wearing black slacks and an emerald colored button down. His hair is styled with gel and spiked because he didn’t have time to wash it.  
Jensen is nervous. It’s the first public event since he and Jared became… well - whatever they are. And Sophia said that Jared had asked for him. How will Jared act? Will they dance together? It’s Hollywood and two men dancing is not so unusual anymore.  
Oh, God, there he is. Jared is standing and talking with some people. A blonde, beautiful woman is at his right side. She is unashamedly staring at Jared and touching his hand all the time, laughing at every word he says. And the worst part is – it seems like Jared’s enjoying it. That blonde bitch is flirting with him and Jared is not irritated or uncomfortable. Jensen feels miserable suddenly and unsure of himself. Like years ago, like all that time he was married to Justin. But what did he expect? Jared is a man after all. And they’re not a couple, they’re not boyfriends, not monogamous. But the bet, why the hell did Jared propose that bet? What is he trying to prove if he still wants to enjoy his freedom?  
Jensen is an idiot! How could he have imagined that he and Jared could maybe become…  
Tears stream down Jensen cheeks. Images of Justin fucking Kristen… The room starts to move around him, he’s breathing flatly and sweating.  
“Are you alright, sir…”  
Jensen looks up. His face changes instantly, breathing steadies, his confidence and self-esteem is back. He’s not weak, he’s not a coward anymore.  
“You can call me Ross!” He smiles to the worried man next to him.   
“Mark Pellegrino.”  
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Pellegrino!” Ross smiles and extends his hand.   
“Oh, call me Mark, Ross!”“ Mark shakes Ross’s hand, smiling.   
“I think I will be fine, Mark, if I could get a glass of champagne.”  
“May I accompany you, Ross?”  
He just smiles and nods.  
When Jared notices Jensen, he is dancing with some blonde guy. Jared recognizes him, Mark Pellegrino, he was guest star in a few episodes of “Supernatural”. Jared didn’t like the guy then but now he hates him. He acts like a gentleman but the truth is, Mark Pellegrino is an arrogant snob. What the fuck is Jensen is doing with him and when did he come? Why didn’t he approach Jared?  
“Excuse me, Barbara!” Jared leaves the blonde woman; she’s an old friend since the first castings Jared attended.   
Jared goes to the dance floor moving straight for Jensen and that jerk Pellegrino. It seems like those two are too busy with each other - they don’t even notice Jared.  
“Excuse me!” Jared is too tired and jealous to play any games with Jensen tonight. He doesn’t even want to be here. He wants to be at home with Jensen, watching some movie together with Chad and Sophia. Okay - maybe he is boring, maybe he is a home body after all.  
“Padalecki!” Pellegrino notices him first.  
“Oh, Jared.” Ross smiles “Nice to see you here. Great party, isn’t it? Mark and I - we’re really enjoying it!” Ross leans closer and kisses Pellegrino on the lips.  
Jared wants to hit something. Preferably Pellegrino’s face.   
“Fabulous.” Jared says with irony. “Pellegrino - can I cut in?”  
“Jared, I don’t think…”  
“Mister Smith promised me a dance way before you.”  
“That’s nice, Jared, but my dance with Ross isn’t over yet.”  
“Yeah.” Ross smiles. “Better go and take some girl for a dance, Jared. So many beautiful women here, I think I saw a particularly beautiful blonde somewhere …”   
What. The. Fuck.  
Is he jealous?  
No, impossible. He wouldn’t. Jensen was the one who made it clear that they are both free and can fuck whomever they want.  
Jared raises an eyebrow in a firm way.   
“As I remember we had plans for tonight.” Jared looks straight into Ross’ green eyes.  
“Plans?” Ross acts confused.   
“Yeah. Special plans.” Jared looks at Pellegrino. “You see - me and Mister Smith - we have a special calendar. We call it the Fucking Calendar. We mark dates and times when - you know - when we have special plans.”   
Pellegrino looks shocked.   
“Don’t worry - you can have Mister Smith any other time when he’s free from our special schedule. Mister Smith enjoys meeting new people a lot. Right, Ross?”  
Ross blushes. He’s angry, furious. He wants to say something, even shout at Jared. But he controls himself.   
“Excuse me!”  
He says and leaves.   
“Excuse me!” Jared repeats to Pellegrino and follows him. “Ross!”  
Ross ignores him and runs straight to the door, tears in his eyes. He has somehow lost Ross again, Jensen is back and he feels like an idiot, he feels like a whore. Jared just laughed at him, Jared just…  
“Ross!” Jared stops him by grabbing his arm and turning him around to face Jared.   
“Leave me alone!”  
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice is much softer now.   
“Let me go!” He tries to free himself.   
“Why did you do that? I was waiting for you…”  
“With that blonde, right? It didn’t look like you were waiting for me at all …”  
Jesus, he really is jealous.  
“I can’t believe it! You are jealous!” A smile spreads across Jared’s face.   
“No, I’m not!”  
“Yes you are.” Jared still smiles.   
“No…”  
“Yes…”  
“Shut up!”  
“Okay!”  
Jared crashes his lips against Jensen’s so unexpectedly that at first he doesn’t move at all, but soon he reacts. He answers eagerly but doesn’t try to take control. He lets Jared lead them. They’re in the foyer, some people notice them and smile. Jared pushes Jensen against the wall gently to steady their weight. Now he’s trapped, Jensen wouldn’t be able to escape even if he wanted to.  
They are so lost they don’t notice Sophia and Chad standing not far from them and smiling.  
Jared breaks the kiss after what seems like hours and only because he’s out of breath.  
Jensen inhales deeply, his cheeks flushed, lips swollen and sore. And suddenly he slaps Jared. Hard.   
“Fuck!” Jared rubs his cheek. “What the hell was that for?”  
Jensen looks confused.   
“It just seemed appropriate.”  
“What?”  
“You know - dramatic angle of the story, passion in the air. Like in the movies.”  
“You’re fucking unbelievable!” Jared smirks and kisses Jensen again.  
Suddenly they hear clapping. They break the kiss and find Chad and Sophia both smiling and clapping.  
“It’s better than in the movies.” Chad jokes.   
“Much more passion and drama.” Sophia joins in.   
“I told you!” Jensen says cheerily.   
“You all are drama princesses!”  
Jared says frustrated, still rubbing his cheek.  
Jensen leans closer and kisses his cheek.  
Okay - maybe drama isn’t that bad after all.   
“Are you ready to go home?” Chad asks.   
“Which one?” Jared asks.   
“Chad and me talked and decided we could spend Christmas at my place. There is enough space and all the kitchen stuff for Chad to cook with.” Sophia answers.   
“But we don’t have a Christmas tree…” Jensen says.   
“It’s okay - I bought one today. We just have to get it from Jared’s place.” Chad reassures him.   
“So – you ready to go?” Sophia asks.   
“Yeah - I could use some ice…” Jared says still rubbing his cheek.  
“Oh, don’t be such a pussy.” Jensen laughs and kisses Jared’s cheek again as all of them go to the parking lot.


	25. Chapter 25

Jared opens his eyes. He’s still sleepy. Instantly he notices Jensen, he hopes its Jensen at least because it’s the last day of the bet and when it’s over… Jared smiles just imagining. His hand moves down under the duvet to touch his morning hard-on. He rubs it a little and purrs like a big Cheshire cat.   
Jensen is streaking around the room. He’s looking nervous and focused. He is mumbling something to himself.   
“Good morning!” Jared says, still smiling.   
“Morning.” He answers but doesn’t stop the nervous streaking.   
“What`s up?”  
“I overslept. I had to be at the ballroom like an hour ago. I’m the producer of those charity concerts and I’m late, it’s unacceptable.”  
“Calm down!” Jared is still smiling.  
“My black shoes. Where the hell are my black shoes…?”  
“Jensen!”  
He turns to look at Jared.   
“Shit, I left them at your place! Oh, God, what am I going to do now?” He looks terrified.   
Jared laughs.   
“Come here!”  
“I don`t have time.”  
“Come here and sit down!”  
“But I…”  
“I said - come here, Jensen!” Jared is persistent.  
Jensen sighs heavily and obeys.   
“Sit!”  
He sits down next to Jared on the bed.   
“Now inhale deeply and count to ten.”  
“Why do I…?”  
“Jesus, Jensen, just do as I say.”  
“But…”  
“JENSEN!”  
“Alright, alright…”   
He inhales deeply, counting to ten. His cheeks inflated and scarlet, he looks so fucking cute.   
“Now exhale slowly while counting to ten again.”  
Jensen blows the air out of his lungs.   
“Jesus, Jensen, do you know what “slowly” means? Repeat everything. Slowly.”  
“I don’t have time to…”  
“Shh…” Jared shushes him by putting a finger across his lips. “Do what I told you to and listen.”  
Jensen inhales deeply again.   
“If Sophia needed you there she would have woken you up. And she hasn’t called even once so it means everything’s okay.”  
Jensen exhales.   
“But what if…?”  
“No “buts”. Repeat inhales and exhales.”  
Jensen hesitates for a moment but meets Jared’s firm raised eyebrow and the expression on Jared’s face makes him obey.   
“Chad went with Sophia, he volunteered to help with anything she needed. The first concert starts at twelve, two and a half hours from now.”  
“Oh, my God, just two and a half…”  
“Jesus, Jensen, relax already! There’s plenty of time. Let me take a fast shower and get dressed and I will be…”  
“No! I MUST GO NOW!”  
“No, you don’t have to go now. You have to relax and… breathe. And brown shoes would be perfect for this suit.”  
“Brown shoes? You can’t be…?”  
“Serious? Well I am. They go well together with your green shirt.”  
“Do you really think…?”  
“Yes, I do.” Jared smiles as he takes Jensen’s hands in his own and squeezes a little. ”Everything will be perfect. Trust me.” He brings Jensen’s hands to his lips and kisses them gently.  
After two and a half hours, an almost breakdown from Jensen and lots of breathing exercises, Jared and Jensen are standing backstage and listening to Sophia sing a duet with Chad. It`s a big surprise. Jared hugs Jensen from behind, they both move to the rhythm of the music and smile. The two thousand children in the audience are smiling too.  
After another three hours there is the second concert for older people. They’re smiling too.  
Jensen relaxes at last, Jared is happy, and Sophia and Chad can’t stop sharing secret and not so secret looks.  
It’s eight pm when they get to Sophia’s mansion. The plastic Christmas tree they decorated yesterday evening after getting back from the Independent Studios party is in the corner of the living room, Christmas stockings are hanging from the side of the fake fireplace, and the eggnog Chad made yesterday is in their glasses. They’re laughing, drinking and congratulating one another. They’re all tired and decide to make it an early night when it’s almost midnight.  
Jensen goes to his room while Jared stays in the kitchen to help Chad take care of the dirty dishes. Sophia calls her family, wishing them a happy Christmas.  
Chad smiles.   
“So - isn’t day seven almost over?”  
Jared smirks.   
“Fuck, yeah.”  
“Ha-ha-ha…”  
“I can’t believe I made it. Really, Chad, he knows how to torture me.”  
“And tonight he’s Jensen.”  
“At last.” Jared is excited. “And the most incredible thing is - he was Jensen yesterday too.”  
“Yeah, I know…”  
Silence for a moment.   
“Jared…” Seems like Chad’s hesitating, as if he can’t decide whether telling Jared is a good idea.  
“What is it Chad?”  
“We talked yesterday morning…”  
“Mhmmm… And?”  
“Well…”  
“What…?”  
“I don`t know if you know but… He told me about his honeymoon.”  
“What?”  
“In Paris, I made a French omelet so…”  
“Tell me everything!”  
“He doesn’t have good memories about his honeymoon. He was… pregnant…”  
“I know…” Jared says quietly.   
“So - he has a child?”  
“A daughter, Megan, she died during birth.”  
“Oh, God…”  
“Sophia told me. I didn’t have time to tell you but… The 20th was his birthday, Sophia told me that. And she told me that he doesn’t celebrate it because Megan died on the same day.”  
“Jesus, Jared…”  
“Yeah. Remember he said I couldn’t catch him on a bike?”  
Chad just nods.   
“It was the next morning after his birthday. He just ran away. He was in hysterics… I went after him and when I found him he told me. He was crying and… It was hard, Chad.”   
There is silence for some time again. Jared’s deep in painful memories, Chad’s thoughtful.  
“What else did he tell you?”  
“That he was eighteen, just graduated, having morning-sickness all the time. And his husband Justin was enjoying each and every opportunity to be able to drink legally.”  
“Bastard…” Comes as a curse from Jared`s mouth.   
“You knew this?”  
“Not that specific. But Sophia told me that his husband was a jerk… Justin… Fuck, I already hate him…”  
“Calm down, Jared. He’s not here, you are.” Chad looks at the clock on the wall. “And it’s three minutes before midnight. Go to him, Jared.”  
“Are you…?”  
“Yeah, I will take care of the dishes. Just go!”  
Chad smiles.   
“Okay, then I…” Jared is suddenly nervous somehow. It almost feels like the first time.  
Jared turns around and runs through the living room and upstairs to Jensen’s room. Jared knocks on the door. No answer. He opens the doors and goes in.   
“Jensen?” He looks around. “Jense…”  
And then he sees him on the bed. He’s wearing a red cheerleader’s uniform, hair spiked up into a Mohawk. He’s laying on his side, cheek in his palm, elbow pressed to the bed. He`s smiling seductively.   
“Hello, sweetie.”  
Jared is a bit disappointed. He’s definitely not Jensen. But it’s okay, he is ready to give Jensen as much time as he needs.   
“Ross?” Jared asks.   
“Call me JR!”  
“I believe our bet is over, JR!” Jared smirks as he approaches the bed.  
He’s hard and ready, he has waited long enough. God, Jensen looks amazing.   
“Well… ” JR says as he gets up, now he’s on his knees on the bed. His arms go around Jared’s shoulders, their lips meet.  
“Fuck, I want you so much.” Jared is going insane. He mouths down to Jensen’s neck and sucks on the most sensitive places. JR gasps and raises his body closer to Jared’s.  
“Good…” JR moans. “But I’m gonna be fair and tell you something before…”  
“What?”  
“When we made our bet it was an hour after midnight…”  
“An hour after…” And then Jared instantly gets it. Fuck.  
Jared pulls away.  
JR laughs.  
“Oh, don`t worry, het-boy. You only have to live through one more hour!”  
Hour! Hour! Hour! This one fucking word echoes in Jared’s head. One hour, a whole hour, sixty fucking minutes.  
God, he’s so hard that it’s aching.  
Okay, he can do it! He can do it!  
“Let’s… hmmm… Talk! Let’s talk!”  
“I like actions more than words.” JR approaches him.  
“Words can be good, very good.” Jared says nonsense as he moves backwards away from him.  
“Talking is overrated.”  
“No, it’s not. It’s… I need to know some important things about you!”   
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
He comes closer and Jared backtracks until he feels a wall behind him, he is trapped. JR licks his bottom lip in a patented manner, his gaze on Jared’s crotch.  
“Mmmm…” He moans as his hand goes down to touch Jared.  
“Oh, God…” Jared cries out as he feels JR’s hand touch the most sensitive part of his body.  
“No, stop. God, please…”  
JR leans in and whispers close to Jared’s ear. His breath makes shivers go down Jared’s spine.  
“You still wanna ask me questions?”  
“Yes! Questions are good.”  
“Okay, ask!”  
JR turns around and goes back to the bed where he sits down.  
Thank God!  
JR crosses arms over his chest as if waiting for something.  
“What... mmm... Color! Yes, what is your favorite color?” Jared finds something to ask at last.  
“Hmmm...” JR makes a thoughtful expression and Jared is almost convinced that he is really overthinking the question, but then he gets off of the bed and approaches Jared. For a moment JR looks into Jared’s eyes but then his gaze goes down to his groin again. “I can’t decide.” He whispers as he touches the zipper of Jared’s jeans. “What color is your underwear today?”  
Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck…  
Jared moves backwards, mumbling something. JR follows Jared’s movements automatically. Jared’s zipper is half way undone.  
“Looks like my favorite color today is… gray? Seriously Jared - could you be more boring in underwear choice.” JR asks frustrated, not noticing how torturous the light touches of his fingers on Jared’s dick are.   
Jared fucking whimpers and swallows hard.  
“What is your favorite animal?” Jared somehow manages.  
“What?” JR is shocked.  
And suddenly he starts laughing.  
“Jared, you have my respect.” He smiles. “Seriously, you’re more determined then I could ever imagine. But the problem is - I hate losing.”  
He’s not playing anymore. He’s a beast, he’s a conqueror, he’s aggressive. He grabs Jared’s dick hard and squeezes it.  
Jared cries out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He has nowhere to run. A wall is behind his back and JR is in front of him, so close. JR leans even closer, his lips so close to Jared’s.  
“It’s mine whenever I want it.” He squeezes Jared’s dick even harder.  
Jared lets out an animalistic scream.  
“You’re mine whenever I want you.” JR continues.  
“Please…” Jared whispers.  
“What?”  
“Please, Jensen…” Jared is begging him, a mix of tenderness and pain in his eyes.   
“Why?” JR is suddenly serious.  
“Because…”  
“Because?”  
“You want it.”  
“What?”  
Jared is silent just for a moment and then he says just one word. It’s a whisper, a prayer.  
“Us…”  
JR`s face changes. He lets go of Jared’s dick. He’s sad, he’s confused. The mask has fallen again, this time maybe more visible than ever. It’s Jensen, just Jensen in front of him. Scared, unsure, so real.  
“I’m sorry.” He says as he runs to the bathroom and locks himself in.  
“Shit.” Jared whispers.  
His dick is aching, it didn’t get its release. Jared shoves his now softening dick back in his jeans and zips them up. He approaches the bathroom. The doors are closed.  
“Jensen?” He whispers. “Please, let me in.”  
No sound, no movement from the other side of the door.  
Jared knocks but gets no reaction.  
Jared sighs heavily and sits down on the floor, pressing his back against the door.  
“You said I’m yours whenever you want me.” Jared says quietly but loud enough for Jensen to hear. “And it’s true. Not because you make me crazy sexually, but… because you make me crazy in every way. Jensen… I meant what I said. I… I want us. I want you in my life, full time. I wanna wake up next to you. I wanna go home to you or wait till you come home to me. I wanna go shopping with you. I wanna go to sleep and try to guess who you’ll be the next day.” Jared smiles a little. “I want you… In every possible way. All of you… Each one of you… I don’t know what else I can do to prove it to you, to make you believe that it’s real. We’re real.”   
Still no sound on the other side of the door.  
“You know… when I first saw you, you scared the shit out of me.” Jared laughs a little. “But then there was something else. You asked me if I really knew what I wanted. And the truth is - I didn’t. Not so undoubtedly, so strongly as now. Remember I asked if you knew what you wanted? You never answered.”   
Still no reaction.  
“I know that… I know there are things in your past… that made you the way you are. I know you’re not ready… for many things but… I’m not pushing. Jensen, I will wait as long as it takes just… Please, just give me a chance because… Now I know what I want. I told you already. I want us, and I’m gonna stick around even though I know you’ll try to push me away. It doesn’t matter because as you said - I am determined. Just… Please, I ask you to give me just one chance. One chance for us.”  
Silence again and then suddenly there he is on the other side of the door.  
“I was never a cheerleader… I was unpopular at school. Geek. Nerd. Big old-fashioned glasses. I looked at the cheerleaders. I dreamt of being one of them but… I never even had the courage to go to the tryouts. Never. Not once in those four high school years. How pathetic is that…”  
Jared hears a change in his voice. Jensen is crying.  
“And now…” He continues. “Now I am a cheerleader. Funny, isn’t it? Now I am a cheerleader, the captain of cheerleaders. Now I can do it, can have it… But the funny thing is - I have no team to cheer for because all of this is fake. This uniform is fake. I’m fake.”   
“You’re real to me…”  
“No, you don’t get it… You… Geez, Jared. What do you even see in me? I’m a mess, I’m… nothing.” He cries even louder. Jared can hear sobs.  
“You’re everything to me. You’re my mess, my perfect mess. Please, let me in. Or seriously, I will ruin these doors because I don’t think I can be patient any longer.”  
“No, Jared… I… You can’t see me. Not like this, I’m pathetic…”  
“I’m pathetic too. Don’t you think it would be better to be pathetic together?”  
Silence. No movement. And suddenly he can hear the door being unlocked. Jared lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. He gets up quickly, opens the door and there he is - sitting on the toilet, tears streaming down his cheeks, messy eye-liner on his face. Just two large steps and Jared is there, next to Jensen. Jared kneels down and puts his strong arms around him.  
“Shhh…” He whispers as he rubs his back gently.  
Jensen hides his face in the crook of Jared’s neck, who knows how much time passes. Sobs become quieter until they stop completely.   
“Pine green and pandas.” Jensen suddenly says.  
“What?” Jared looks at him confused.  
“My favorite color and animal.” Jensen says shyly. “Pine green and pandas.” He repeats.  
Jared smiles.  
“Pandas?”  
“They’re so sweet and they eat all the time.” He explains.  
Jared laughs. Jensen smiles.  
“It’s half past one.” Jensen suddenly says.  
“What?”  
“You won.”  
“Oh.”  
“So?”  
“So?”  
“Are you my boyfriend now?” Jensen is so adorably shy.  
Jared smiles from ear to ear.  
“Say it again!”  
“What?”  
“Boyfriend!”  
Jensen looks into Jared’s eyes. He seems excited, waiting for something.  
“Are you serious?”  
“Oh, come on - say it! Say “boyfriend”!”  
Jensen hesitates for a moment.  
“Boy-friend…” He finally whispers.  
“Again!”  
“Boyfriend… Boyfriend… Boyfriend…” Jensen starts laughing.  
“Well, boyfriend. Of course it’s nice to sit here in the bathroom on Christmas night but maybe we could go to the bed now and… make love? Or I’ll have to take like the hundredth cold shower this week?”  
Jensen blushes. Jared can’t help but think that it’s the most adorable thing in the world.  
“Okay…” Jensen answers. “Boyfriend…”


End file.
